View Full Version : Schwety Balls for Christmas - Detroit Style

12-13-2005, 07:10 PM
A Short Shorts Rebellion Brewing
10th December, 2005 - 3:43 pm

By Buster Gunning

As more and more players are fined for wearing their shorts too low, TayShaun Prince has decided to make sure that there isn’t a chance he has levied with a fine.

“John Stockton’s shorts will look like they belonged on Michigan’s Fab 5 once they get a load of mine.”

Prince reportedly will debut the shorts against the Spurs on Christmas Day.

“They are somewhere between Jessica Simpson’s shorts in Dukes Of Hazard and Michael J. Fox’s in Teen Wolf.

I called Allen Iverson to see if he might follow suit.

“There’s no way A.I. will be wearing no shorts that short.”

The Knicks’ Stephon Marbury echoed the sentiment, “I’d rather play in Georgia and I’m not talking about the Georgia that has Atlanta in it. Baggy shorts or not, I’d rather play in Georgia than Atlanta. I’m still mad about that rumor. Zeke?”

Prince’s shorts may raise a whole new set of problems for the league office. Will showing too much skin be cause for a fine?

“I’m keeping my options open,” said Stern. “I do know Prince is one of our finest citizens and sets a great example for young people everywhere and our Hall of Famers like him as well. I guess he really is a throwback to another era.”

I then asked, “Why don’t you put on a pair of shorts and model them for everyone, what your IDEAL short size would be?”

“Great idea Buster! Come down the 175th Street Y at 12:30 next Friday. All of the New York heavyweights play there and all of our shorts are at a perfect upstanding length.”

“Great who will be there?”

“Well, Regis for sure. He referees. Donald, Diddy, my brother Howard, Seinfeld, Matthew Broderick, plus a few surprises. Also, some members of the cast of Hairspray. Sometimes their shorts are too short though, but rather that than two inches below the knee. I hate that more than I hate taffy.”

But back to Prince, he has high hopes that this form of rebellion will catch on.

"This is very much a political statement. I think my fellow players may follow my lead. Long shorts are for the 90's anyways."

ETA: Sorry for taking the board down a couple of IQ points :P

12-13-2005, 07:33 PM