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04-25-2001, 12:04 AM
Ape News: 04/25/01

Bananas Again Sweep Primates' Choice Awards
LOS ANGELES-- In a gala, chimp-studded affair at the Shrine Auditorium, bananas swept the Primates' Choice Awards for the 42nd year in a row Monday, winning such categories as Best Food, Best Fruit, and Best Dessert. "This year, as in so many years past, bananas delighted and nourished the primate world," said Dole CEO David Murdock, who accepted the award for Best Potassium Source on behalf of bananas. "It is only fitting that we pay tribute in kind." The fruit's sweep proved popular with the 3,200 simians in attendance, who shrieked and jumped up and down in their seats each time it was announced as the winner while a photo of bananas was projected onto a giant screen.

04-25-2001, 04:15 AM

The onion is cool. I like the 'Man feels brief sense of triumph after completing free frozen yoghurt punchcard' one the best.

04-25-2001, 02:24 PM
Material mom Madonna just had her second baby! I wish I could report this as good old-fashioned good news, but there have been some complications. Madonna has been tight-lipped about it, but my sources say the baby is covered from head to toe with soft, velvety fur like a monkey! No word as to whether it has a tail. Aside from that, the baby is said to be doing fine and is the spitting image of mom. Fur or otherwise, babies are cute. Way to go, Madonna!

04-25-2001, 02:33 PM
Hahhahahahhhahaa... I am sure the world as a whole will benefit from the news of the Ape...


04-27-2001, 08:03 PM
Ape news 04/27/00

The madape is leaving for a couple of weeks in South America. Sadly, the Mavs season will be likely be over by the time I get back. Despite this, I still plan on posting here when I return. Many of you will choose to stop frequenting the site. For those of you who leave, I will see you next year. For those that choose to stay and B.S. during the offseason, I'll talk to you very soon.

Good luck Mavs!
Asta Luego.

04-27-2001, 08:13 PM
Have a good trip ape! Cya in a few!

05-15-2001, 08:01 PM
The ape is back!

05-15-2001, 08:02 PM
Welcome back. How was South America? i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif

05-15-2001, 08:28 PM
It was a truly inspiring trip. Nature has been kind to the Latin American countries. The locals were friendly and extremely talented. Despite the language barier, I found it very easy to interact with them. Within only two weeks, I developed a palpable sense of intimacy with several natives. I felt like I really penetrated the latin culture, over and over again. Once I make sure that I am healthy enough to go back, I plan on returning.

05-16-2001, 02:56 AM

05-22-2001, 09:03 AM
The following article was published by Reuters and can be seen on sites like CNN, MSNBC, and all major international newspapers. This story is not make-beleive, it is REAL. I urge everyone to read it and beware of the monkey man of New-Delhi.

After an intensive search in which some 3,000 extra officers were put on the case, police said they had come up empty-handed in their quest for the "monkey man."
Descriptions of the nocturnal "monkey man" varied wildly with some saying it was a monkey-like creature with metallic claws while others said it was like a cat with tawny, glowing eyes.

One person said it had "flaming eyes and green lights on its chest."
The persistent reports of the hybrid creature attacking people at random triggered panic in the city of 13 million and led to at least three deaths.
Dozens of other residents complained they were injured by the monkey man.
At the height of the panic, vigilante groups armed with sticks patrolled the streets at night on the lookout for the creature and police announced a 50,000 rupee ($1,067) reward for information leading to the capture of the "monkey man."

Around 348 reports of sighting or attacks by the shadowy "monkey man" had been received by authorities by early Monday morning, police said.

All alleged victims were now being referred to psychologists and the Central Forensic Laboratory had also been asked to examine injuries, police said.

The first reported attack of the "monkey man" was on April 8 in the neighboring state of Uttar Pradesh and reports of the creature later spread to Delhi.

Most of the reported attacks in Delhi took place in poorer neighborhoods where many people sleep outdoors in the sweltering summer heat.

"The moment somebody shouted 'monkey man,' people would run helter-skelter which is how most injuries occurred," Ranjan said.
Thousands of people in the capital still believe a monkey-man is on the loose, climbing up on rooftops and attacking men, women and children in their homes.

Residents lit Hindu prayer fires, trying something new to rid them of the supposed menace.

It's no laughing matter either. Apart from the three recorded deaths, more than 60 have been injured in the panic caused by fear of the monkey man.

Tired and scared, the civilian's patrollers sometimes turned violent. An angry crowd smashed one van when they suspected it was the monkey man's getaway car.

05-22-2001, 09:06 AM
Man pointing to injuries caused by the monkey man

05-22-2001, 09:07 AM
And artist's rendering of the monkey man

05-22-2001, 09:13 AM
Click here to read story on CNN.com (http://www.cnn.com/2001/WORLD/asiapcf/south/05/16/india.monkeyman/index.html)

There is also a video on this page that shows some of the panic. Click on the link in the middle of the page.

05-23-2001, 02:13 AM
Could just be the world's hairiest man?

06-06-2001, 11:56 PM
Here is a pic of the ape getting nuts in Latin America...

mad ape!!!!!!!! (http://rolandch.homestead.com/files/roland-kim.jpg)

06-07-2001, 12:01 AM
You're a lot less hairier then I imagined ape!

06-07-2001, 12:03 AM
You don't know me that well then...

06-07-2001, 06:33 PM
Evilmav is the real monkey man in New Delhi... That's where I have been recently...