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scooterj5
10-03-2002, 05:30 PM
I found this on Particia Bender's site (http://www.dfw.net/~patricia/nba-daily-humor), she's a big Mavs fan.


02-03
Minnesota GM Kevin McHale on Kevin Garnett's tirade in an ESPN Magazine
interview: "Look, guys say a lot of things and I don't put too much credence in it. Maybe they got him on a day when his milk was too warm for his Coco Puffs."


Sgt. Kirk Hartwell, who arrested Kwame Brown (Was) for going 120 mph in a 60 mph construction zone: "He just kept saying 'Michael Jordan is going to kill me.'"

3/7 Ref Luis Grillo on calling a foul on Popeye Jones during a Was-Mem
game: "54 is dancing with Battier!"

2/22 The LA Clippers placed Corey Maggette on IR with dislocated ring an little fingers on his right hand. Maggette suffered the injury when he pounded the scorer's table in frustration.

Don Nelson on Dirk Nowitzki's new crew cut: "I didn't know he was that
ugly. I thought he was a pretty good looking fella when he had hair, but, oh my goodness, did that bring out all his bad features or what. He's going to be single all the rest of his life!"

David Robinson (SA) after Clifford Robinson (Det) went 1-5 FG in a Det-SA game: "I hate to do it, but I have to give Steve Smith some credit for his defense. Steve did a nice job of yelling for help every time Cliff got the ball."

Scott Skiles (Pho coach), who has been practicing with his team, on the
possibility of returning to play: "My problem would not be, 'Can I play
in the game?' It would be, 'Can I get up the next morning?' That's one of the reasons I stopped playing. I got tired of crawling to the
breakfast table the next morning."

12/8 We have a candidate for this year's most bizarre injury. Dirk
Nowitzki (Dal) suffered a strained tendon in his left ankle putting on
his shoe. The injury occurred when Nowitzki had put his left shoe on
and stomped his foot before tying his shoe to make sure it was all the
way on and strained the tendon with the stomp. He missed the Washington
game that night due to the injury.

Doug Collins (Was) on his plan to reduce his rotation from 12 to 8
players: "It's like lard. It's shortening."

(a college one, but made me laugh) Baylor coach Dave Bliss on coaching
the emotional and occasionally erratic Wendell Greenleaf: "It's like
being a state trooper. There's lots of boredom with moments of sheer
terror."

10/7 Kenyon Martin (NJ) on his improved conditioning and confidence:
"Trust me, it's 360 from where it was." [Martin will get along great
with new teammate Jason Kidd, who as a rookie with Dallas told the press that they were going to turn the team around 360 degrees - a sadly accurate prediction.]

10/7 David Robinson (SA) on Avery Johnson no longer being with the Spurs: "It's strange not having Avery. You get used to hearing that voice all the time."

3/9 Kevin Garnet (Min) on Miami's defense: "They're really aggressive.
They're like roaches on bread - you drop some on the floor and, boom,
they're on it."

Dikembe Mutombo (Atl) on his technical for wagging his finger after a
block: "I can not do the finger wave to the guy after I block a shot, I
have to do it to the crowd. I did it to the crowd, but the referee said
there was a bench in front of the crowd."

1/17 Dale Davis (Por) missed Tuesday's game due to a strained back muscle. He reportedly strained his back when he got out of bed the wrong way. Talk about a day you should have stayed in bed.

1/17 Kevin Garnett (Min): "I'm like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. If
I'm not ready, the sled isn't going to go."

1/17 Say what? Lenny Wilkens (Tor) on possibly winning the Central
division title: "Don't get caught looking at the apple in case someone
takes the ladder away."

1/12 The NBA fined Mark Cuban (Dal owner) $100,000 for "decorum not
becoming an NBA owner" for sitting on the floor along the baseline during Wednesday's Dal-Min game.

Ron Mercer on Chicago: "The majority of time, it seems to be one thing or the other."

10/13 Detroit, in trying to generate some toughness, was bring their
starters through a row of chest-bumping teammates during introductions. Friday night, Eric Montross came down the line, got a chest bump from a teammate, and fell down.

Christian Laettner on a reported fight on an airplane between him and then teammate Jerry Stackhouse (from rival UNC and came out of school early): "It wasn't a fight. He punched me one time, that's all. I don't fight at 30,000 feet. I have an education."

At the news conference introducing Alvin Gentry as new coach of the LA
Clippers Question: Didn't you have any friends warning you not to take the job with the Clippers?
Gentry: They all encouraged me to take the job.
Question: You don't have any friends, do you?

99-00
Charles Barkley on teammate Cuttino Mobley: "He's instant offense, on
both ends of the floor, I might add."

Alonzo Mourning on winning the Defensive Player of the Year award: "I
thank my teammates for letting their men blow by them."

Mikki Moore [unintentionally explaining Detroit's troubles this season]: "We have to play hard for the full 40 minutes." Informed a game goes for 48 minutes: "48? Oh, that's right. 12-minute
quarters."

David Robinson on watching San Antonio's comeback win over Portland from
the locker room after he was ejected with 3 minutes left and San Antonio
down by 7 points: "I felt like I didn't have a date on New Year's Eve. I was jumping around by myself in here."

The leading candidate for this season's most bizarre injury: Muggsy Bogues (Tor) missed the 2nd half of Monday's Por-Tor game because he accidentally inhaled a muscle ointment during a halftime treatment and he then complained about dizziness. Bogues: "Never happened to me before and I hope it never happens again. That was one of those fluke things you don't even dream about."

Joe Kleine on playing another season: "It's pretty simple. I was
sitting at home at the end of August and somebody called me up and said, 'Who wants to be a millionaire?' I said, 'I do.' And they said, 'Is that your final answer?' I said, 'Let me call my lifeline.' So I called Dana [his wife] and she said, 'If you don't take it, I'll kill you.'"

Kevin McHale: "If a nuclear bomb dropped on earth, two things would
survive: roaches and David Falk."

1/5 Doc Rivers (Orl) after Wednesday's Orl-Van win: "Winning is like
deodorant - it comes up and a lot of things don't stink."

12/8 Charles Barkley (Hou) at the start of the press conference following his career ending injury where he ruptured the quadriceps tendon in his left knee in the Phi-Hou game: "Well guys, I guess that sex is definitely out of the question tonight."

Charles Barkley on his thoughts about retiring before the season: "I
remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to
retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You
got a pen on you?'"

Coaches will now be subject to testing for drugs during training camp.
That includes performance enhancing substances. Asked one unnamed coach: "Does that include Viagra?"

Big Boy Laroux
10-03-2002, 07:34 PM
this one is great:



<< Charles Barkley on teammate Cuttino Mobley: &quot;He's instant offense, on
both ends of the floor, I might add.&quot; >>



I've never heard that before. I think i may start using that, giving credit to barkley each time, of course.

i like that one by laettner, too.

veruca salt
10-03-2002, 07:42 PM
I love that quotes page.
I remember the 1st time i read the the quote from Don about Dirks hair...
i thought i was never going to be able to stop laughing, I was in
so much pain.

FilthyFinMavs
10-03-2002, 09:05 PM
Lol damn they are scorin on Dirk like they are gettin paid too lol.

NBAfreak02
10-04-2002, 08:03 PM
Dirk? Ugly? Oh my gosh, that has GOT to be a typeo...
And Dirk bein single all his life?...*cracks up*...looks like Nellie has been on another planet