View Full Version : Kobe the Drama Queen

11-20-2002, 07:00 PM
Here is an excellent article from Fisher...

High Drama
Kobe's Performance? Give Him A Tony

[/i]By Mike Fisher -- DallasBasketball.com

There was a point during Tuesday’s pounding of the hapless Lakers when one had to wonder how Kobe “The Drama Queen’’ Bryant could possibly go on. Whether the LA doctors might have to amputate his incredibly painful finger, hand, wrist, arm, ankle (or whatever injury he was milking) before magically re-attaching the body part as soon as Kobe decided it was time to fire up another brick.

But after Dallas’ 98-72 romp over Kobe’s Lakers, “The Drama Queen’’ had it all figured out. He was laughing away his own awful play and chiding his teammates for theirs. "I look around the locker room and I don't see any fire in anybody's eyes," Kobe weeped. "Everybody's just kind of dozing off a little bit. I don't know if they're waiting for Shaquille to get back or whatever. I don't know. But there's just no intensity."

The official medical report: Kobe sprained an ankle, sprained a thumb, misplaced a heart, but thankfully is in full possession of his award-winning smirk – at least when it comes to analyzing his own future.

“Teams know that what comes around goes around,” Bryant said afterwards. “They know that we’ll be back and we usually have the last laugh.”

The Drama Queen and Phil JackZen actually had the first laugh. Throughout the game, despite falling behind by as many as 28, the Lakers leaders frequently came in and out of timeouts with “What Me Worry’’ grins across their mugs.

And really, they have nothing to worry about. The problems with LA are, of course, not their fault.

Said Phil: "It's our resolve I'm disappointed in.’’
Said Kobe: "Each individual player has to dig inside themselves and find the confidence within themselves. I try to do that throughout the game.’’

You’re right, fellas. It’s not Kobe’s fault. It’s not Phil’s fault. It’s Slava Medvedenko’s fault.

Three minutes into the game, The Drama Queen appeared to roll his ankle. Apologists will make a huge issue of it, but it did not appear to affect his game at all, and despite sitting out the fourth quarter, not until midway through the period did the lounging Bryant ask to put his ankle on ice. Trainers did so at the same time he put his wrist on ice. (No use running to the ice chest twice, right?)

Oh, the wrist: With Dallas up 60-40 at the 8:15 mark of the third, Adrian Griffin (Kobe’s blanket all night) stole the ball from Kobe. As the two pursued the loose ball and Griffin pulled ahead for it, Kobe suddenly pulled up lame! Oh, the humanity! Oh, the coincidence!

Kobe was hurt AGAIN! Kobe’s bum ankle didn’t keep him from strutting, smiling or shooting. And again, let’s plug the apologists before they begin: Kobe was 7-of-21. That’s 33 percent, right on with LA’s record-low 31 percent as a team. … No wonder he’s pointing a finger at his teammates: His shooting percentage was TWO points HIGHER!

Anyway, in case anyone wants to blame the ankle for all this: Kobe’s Lakers were down 20 before it happened, and were down 26 at the end after it happened. And Kobe shot 1-of-4 after it happened, but an equally futile 6-of-17 before it happened.

After the game came the greatest theater of all, though. Limping through the tunnel and into the LA locker room came 11 members of the roster. Then Phil and the coaching staff. Then the trainers and support staff. And then, finally, came a security force and The Drama Queen. We swear Kobe didn’t walk with much of a limp – until he noticed the watchful and impressionable media that waited for him.

"My ankle's hurting," Kobe said. "But I figure if Donovan McNabb can play with a broken ankle, I can play with a badly sprained one. I'll play tomorrow."

Thank you, Drama Queen. Take a bow. [/i]

11-20-2002, 11:09 PM
Maybe Kobe has now a sprained tail in the mouse-cat game that San Antonio chose to play today during 3 quarters. At the fourth Duncan finished licking his whiskers.

11-21-2002, 12:02 AM
Good metaphorical reference Chiwas...