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Old 02-07-2019, 09:57 PM   #1
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Default More white elephant gifts for the Mavs?

By Richie Whitt


As Woody Harrelson playfully suggested in the ’90s, white men can’t jump.

But as our local hoops team has reiterated for four decades, white men can – especially if they’re tall and foreign – play for the Dallas Mavericks.

Their latest Great White Hope: Kristaps Porzingis.

The talented, 7-foot-3 Latvian was officially introduced to DFW Monday in the wake of last week’s trade with the New York Knicks. The takeaways:

*Porzingis won’t play this season as he rehabs from a torn ACL and works on a “physical makeover” aimed at making him stronger and more durable for 2020.

*Owner Mark Cuban has every intention of signing the All-Star to a long-term contract this summer. “I can answer that for you,” Cuban jokingly interrupted a question to Porzingis regarding his desire to stay in Dallas. “Yeah, he does.” Echoed Dallas’ newest star, “We’re on the same page. Don’t even ask.”

*Porzingis, 23, shares the Mavs’ vision of being paired with good friend and rookie sensation Luka Doncic, 19, to produce the pillars of a foundation that can perennially compete for NBA championships. “I get excited every time I think about it,” he said. “I really think we can be something special.”

With Doncic and Dirk Nowitzki watching in the wings and Porzingis smiling in the spotlight, the press conference at American Airlines Center oozed with pass-the-torch giddiness. The 40-year-old Nowitzki, the most decorated European player in NBA history and liberator of the Mavs’ lone title, is in the midst of what feels uncomfortably like a farewell tour. Meanwhile, Doncic and Porzingis – with a combined age of 42 – are at the dawn of a partnership in which they could realistically ascend to multiple MVPs and championships.

“This is one of the most exciting times I think that I’ve ever been a part of,” said general manager Donnie Nelson, the architect of Mavs trades the past 21 years. “These two are going to put their own signatures on their positions.”

The last Mavericks press conference to incite such frenzied, long-term optimism occurred in the bowels of Reunion Arena on June 29, 1998, when Donnie introduced another set of newbie teammates, similarly aged 20 and 23. In the last 32 years there have been only two white NBA MVPs, and the Mavs acquired them both on the same day:

Dirk Nowitzki. Steve Nash.

“It was my mistake not to keep Dirk and Steve together longer,” Cuban told the New York Times this week. “I won’t make the same mistake with Luka and KP. I want to keep them together for 20 years.”

That the trade for Porzingis occurred on the eve of Black History Month is purely coincidental. As is the Mavs’ horrible history of instead landing the next Great White Nope.

While an ugly culture of sexually inappropriate behavior was recently uncovered in the team’s front office, there is absolutely zero evidence to suggest the Mavs operate on even a shred of racism or racial profiling. They have employed a black CEO (Cynthia Marshall), president (Terdema Ussery), head coaches (Quinn Bucker, Jim Cleamons and Avery Johnson), star players (Rolando Blackman, Mark Aguirre and Jason Terry), TV analysts (Derek Harper and Cedric Ceballos) and lofty draft pick busts (Doug Smith, Randy White and Samaki Walker, taken over Kobe Bryant).

Their penchant for adorning their frontcourt with more white stiffs than a Viagra-sponsored Republican orgy is comical, not criminal.

It is also, however, undeniable.

In a league dominated by Kanye, the Mavericks have eternally trotted out Eminem.

Plopping an unathletic ivory tower in the middle of their organization is a trend that drastically pre-dates Porzingis and even Nowitzki. It transcends millenniums, coaches, owners, arenas and eras. It’s the (mostly) flawed preference by everyone from Don Carter to Dick Motta to Donnie Nelson:

Refined, Finesse Skill over Brute, Raw Talent.

The Mavs haven’t consciously been trying to amass Virginia governor Ralph Northam’s favorite fantasy team all these years, it’s just that their light-skinned lineage has generally produced a big, soft, white, harmless interior – the Dallas Marshmallows. Other NBA teams often employ the same strategy with similar failures. For every Kareem Adbul-Jabbar, there is a Neal Walk. For every Shaquille O’Neal, there is a Dwyane Schintzius. And for every Anthony Davis, there is a Timofey Mozgov.

Three times in the last 42 years, a team has chosen a white player with the No. 1 overall pick in the NBA draft. Each time, a center. Each time, regrettably. In ’77, the Milwaukee Bucks took Kent Benson when they should’ve chosen Hall of Famer Bernard King. In ’05, the Bucks selected Andrew Bogut over, among others, Chris Paul. In ’06, the Toronto Raptors inexplicably pegged Andrea Bargnani as a better player than LaMarcus Aldridge.

The Mavericks, however, are the unequivocal leaders in bagging crappy Casper. No NBA team has drafted, traded for, signed and been disappointed by more white elephant gag gifts. No franchise sells itself, and its fans, more (big) little white lies.

When conventional thinking would suggest coveting skill sets highlighted by strength, timing and vertical leap, the Mavs instead cherished pale plodders with all the athleticism of an 82-year-old flailing at a swarm of bees. More often than not, Dallas’ Caucasian centers have been weak, slow afoot and downright gangly. Their physical composition is a giraffe on ice skates. Their mental makeup a soft and subtle snowflake, more likely to sell you life insurance than dunk in your mug.

These, mind you, are merely the Mavs’ big men. We can dismiss the likes of original draft pick Kiki Vandeweghe, Jim Farmer, Brian Quinnett, Antoine Rigaudeau, Gal Mekel, Matt Carroll and Ryan Broekhoff, and still construct a laughable legacy of white height that should’ve been red-flagged.

Sure, Brad Davis has his retired number hanging from the rafters, Peja Stojakovic helped win the trophy in ’11 and Nowitzki is the franchise’s signature player, but the Mavs are more so littered with giant, ghoulish ghosts … their very own 50 Shades of Nay.

Tom LaGarde.

Ralph Drollinger.

Scott Lloyd.

Pat Cummings.

Bill Garnett.

Charlie Sitton.

Kurt Nimphius.

Detlef Schrempf.

Uwe Blab.

Bill Wennington.

Jim Grandholm.

John Shasky.

Walter Palmer.

Radisav Curcic.

Darren Morningstar.

David Wood.

Cherokee Parks.

Greg Dreiling.

Loren Meyer.

Shawn Bradley.

Martin Muursepp.

Eric Montross.

Fred Roberts.

Chris Anstey.

Bruno Sundov.

Bill Curley.

Christian Laettner.

Raef LaFrentz.

Evan Eschmeyer.

Keith Van Horn.

Pavel Podkolzin.

Austin Croshere.

Nick Fazekas.

Sasha Pavlovic.

Brian Cardinal.

Troy Murphy.

Chris Kaman.

David Lee.

Zaza Pachulia.

Chandler Parsons.

Andrew Bogut.

Jeff Withey.

Josh McRoberts.

Doug McDermott.

Kyle Collinsworth.

Maxi Kleber.

Garnett, the fourth overall pick in the ’82 draft, lasted only two seasons in Dallas after averaging 5.7 points. Schrempf (selected over Karl Malone), Blab and Wennington were chosen in the top 17 picks in ’85, making it the most infamous draft in Mavs history. Parks (12th overall) and Meyer (24th) were ’95 first-rounders that started only a combined 40 games.

Then-coach Don Nelson pronounced Anstey “the best running big man in the NBA” in taking him with the 18th overall pick in ’97, but the Australian was gone after two unproductive seasons. LaFrentz, the 3-point shooting kryptonite that was going to emasculate Shaq by dragging him away from the basket, stayed only two seasons. Fazekas, drafted in ’07 and promoted as “Dirk Lite,” scored four points in four games in Dallas. Cuban in ’14 gave a $46 million contract to free-agent Parsons, who suffered a knee injury and produced only two unremarkable seasons. And, despite averaging seven points, six rebounds and two blocks in his nine years as a Maverick, Bradley became – literally – the poster boy for overwhelmed white centers.

Undeterred, the Mavs are now banking on Doncic and Porzingis to add some color to their bland, eight-year, post-championship existence.

Maybe they are striving to be “Europe’s Team” to the Cowboys’ “America’s Team”. (With the addition of Porzingis’ Latvia, the Mavs have now employed white frontcourt players from seven European countries including Germany, Serbia, Estonia, Croatia, Russia, Montenegro and Georgia, in addition to Canada and Australia.) Or maybe they’re keenly aware that since ’87 there has been exactly one white player to win NBA Finals MVP.

His name? Dirk Nowitzki.

With Porzingis, the Mavs are yet again trying to catch whitening in a bottle.
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Old 02-08-2019, 12:15 AM   #2
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This article gets trashed on Twitter for being racist. I'm really not trying to pretend ignorance, but I don't fully get it. Isn't the authors intend to say that the Mavs foolishly bank on a white dude while history shows it's not a high-probability play? Am I missing a certain subtext or something?

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Old 02-08-2019, 12:32 AM   #3
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Hard to argue with the truth. Detlef is about the only guy mentioned, besides Dirk and Nash, who wasn't a complete stiff. I watched him hit 6 3's one night, then get benched for the rest of the season by Motta when they traded for a new center, and Dick refused to expand his tight, 8 man rotation.

But to be fair, most of those bad picks came before Cuban. Can't blame him for bad picks...he traded or gave away most of the picks he had. When your team wins 50 games a year for most of Dirk's career, you don't get many high picks.
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Old 02-08-2019, 01:18 AM   #4
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You had to know someone was going to try and write this dumbs shit. I'm surprised it took this long.

In fine with our path.
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Old 02-08-2019, 01:26 AM   #5
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Ranting about nothing for clicks is fun.
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Old 02-08-2019, 02:15 AM   #6
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What the heck was that? Lumping Kiki Vandeweghe with those other guys in that sentence is just wrong.
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Old 02-08-2019, 07:22 AM   #7
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So it lists every white somewhat y’all player that’s ever had a swim through Dallas? Silly. And obviously, KP and Doncic are well established studs.
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Old 02-08-2019, 07:23 AM   #8
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I just saw the author. Richie Whitt is an idiot beyond all other local idiots.
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Old 02-08-2019, 10:13 AM   #9
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This guy imagines himself as a witty guy. Yeah, there's a pun in there, but the guy's not worth it.

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Old 02-08-2019, 10:14 AM   #10
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So I guess... the Mavs are racist then? Makes sense to me.
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Old 02-08-2019, 10:25 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Murphy3 View Post
I just saw the author. Richie Whitt is an idiot beyond all other local idiots.
He seems bitter. He was a decent writer for the Star Telegram back in the day
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Old 02-08-2019, 10:27 AM   #12
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But as I read this I kept giggling to myself how much evilmav and madape would have enjoyed this list of big white stiffs
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Old 02-08-2019, 10:31 AM   #13
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Half through the article my brain went into self-protecting stand-by
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Old 02-08-2019, 12:50 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by DevinHarriswillstart View Post
Ranting about nothing for clicks is fun.
And profitable for Fish
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Old 02-08-2019, 12:59 PM   #15
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More black elephant gifts for the Mavs?
By Erica Lubarsky


As Woody Harrelson playfully suggested in the ’90s, you either smoke or you get smoked.

But as our local hoops team has reiterated for four decades, black men can play for the Dallas Mavericks.

Their latest Great Black Hope: Tim Hardaway Jr.

The talented, 6'7" African American was officially introduced to DFW Monday in the wake of last week’s trade with the New York Knicks. The takeaways:

*Hardaway will jack shots up.

*Owner Mark Cuban likes him.

Sure, Nick Van Exel and Michael Finley were good, but the Mavs are more so littered with giant, dark-skinned ghosts … their very own 50 Shades of Gray.

Dennis Smith Jr.

Wesley Matthews

Yogi Ferrell

Nerlens Noel

Johnathan Motley

Quincy Acy

DeAndre Liggins

Jeremy Evans

Javale McGee

Monta Ellis

Rajon Rondo

Amare Stoudamire

DeJuan Blair

Ricky Ledo

Shawn Larkin

Eddie Curry

OJ Mayo

Darren Collison

Kelenna Azuibuke

Lamar Odom

Brendan Haywood

Alexis Ajinca

Roddy Beaubois

Drew Gooden

Erick Dampier

Desagana Diop

Josh Howard

Shawne Williams

Mo Ager

Devean George

Tyronn Lue

Antoine Walker

Juwan Howard

Trenton Hassell

What do they all have in common? They're all disappointing.
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Old 02-08-2019, 01:00 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EricaLubarsky View Post
More black elephant gifts for the Mavs?
By Erica Lubarsky


As Woody Harrelson playfully suggested in the ’90s, you either smoke or you get smoked.

But as our local hoops team has reiterated for four decades, black men can play for the Dallas Mavericks.

Their latest Great Black Hope: Tim Hardaway Jr.

The talented, 6'7" African American was officially introduced to DFW Monday in the wake of last week’s trade with the New York Knicks. The takeaways:

*Hardaway will jack shots up.

*Owner Mark Cuban likes him.

Sure, Nick Van Exel and Michael Finley were good, but the Mavs are more so littered with giant, dark-skinned ghosts … their very own 50 Shades of Gray.

Dennis Smith Jr.

Wesley Matthews

Yogi Ferrell

Nerlens Noel

Johnathan Motley

Quincy Acy

DeAndre Liggins

Jeremy Evans

Javale McGee

Monta Ellis

Rajon Rondo

Amare Stoudamire

DeJuan Blair

Ricky Ledo

Shawn Larkin

Eddie Curry

OJ Mayo

Darren Collison

Kelenna Azuibuke

Lamar Odom

Brendan Haywood
"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to EricaLubarsky again."
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Old 02-08-2019, 02:37 PM   #17
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“In a league dominated by Kanye, the Mavericks have eternally trotted out Eminem.”

Yikes. Wtf is this supposed to even mean?
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Old 02-08-2019, 02:50 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by j0Shi View Post
This article gets trashed on Twitter for being racist. I'm really not trying to pretend ignorance, but I don't fully get it. Isn't the authors intend to say that the Mavs foolishly bank on a white dude while history shows it's not a high-probability play? Am I missing a certain subtext or something?
You think the author’s intent is to say that the Mavs should be employing a skin tone metric in their draft decisions, and you don’t get why that’s racist?
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Old 02-08-2019, 04:14 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FreshJive View Post
“In a league dominated by Kanye, the Mavericks have eternally trotted out Eminem.”

Yikes. Wtf is this supposed to even mean?
It means that .. In a league dominated by black guys, the Mavericks have eternally trotted out white guys ... in this "journalist's" expert opinion.
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Old 02-08-2019, 04:42 PM   #20
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The author of this piece is getting savaged on Twitter today... He wrote a follow-up piece trying to clarify the difference between "racist" and "racial" and it is not going well.


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Old 02-08-2019, 04:48 PM   #21
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links please
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Old 02-08-2019, 04:57 PM   #22
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links please
I think he's deleted a couple posts, but here's the latest one: https://twitter.com/richiewhitt/stat...42140886044672
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Old 02-08-2019, 05:02 PM   #23
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There is only one fact. The Mavs diversity track record is basically unbeatable.

What is up with these bullshit people like this guy and Lebron trying to make the Mavs look bad? So stupid. They're just jealous and envious as hell that we got Luka and KP in the span of 8 months.
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Old 02-08-2019, 05:07 PM   #24
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I think he's deleted a couple posts, but here's the latest one: https://twitter.com/richiewhitt/stat...42140886044672
Thank you

Oh my lord. He actually implied he is a better writer than Bob Sturm? I bought a subscription to the Athletic JUST to read Sturm. I haven't though of Whitt for a decade
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Old 02-08-2019, 05:14 PM   #25
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The author of this piece is getting savaged on Twitter today... He wrote a follow-up piece trying to clarify the difference between "racist" and "racial" and it is not going well.


So the Mavs aren't racist, but they're "racial?" Oh, NOW I get it...
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Old 02-08-2019, 05:55 PM   #26
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This guy is a hack. He once criticized Colby Lewis for missing one start for the birth of his second child. Said it made no sense because it was like saying hello to someone you would see the rest of your life unlike a funeral. One fucking start in the first like 20 games of the season. We were tied for first at the time and we ended up first for the season. It was 2011 I believe. No idea how he's still around honestly.
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Old 02-08-2019, 06:33 PM   #27
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This guy is a hack. He once criticized Colby Lewis for missing one start for the birth of his second child. Said it made no sense because it was like saying hello to someone you would see the rest of your life unlike a funeral. One fucking start in the first like 20 games of the season. We were tied for first at the time and we ended up first for the season. It was 2011 I believe. No idea how he's still around honestly.
I had forgotten about that.

I had honestly forgotten all about him to be honest. I guess this was a great article by him then. People are talking about him at least. The Skip Bayless effect
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Old 02-08-2019, 06:39 PM   #28
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It means that .. In a league dominated by black guys, the Mavericks have eternally trotted out white guys ... in this "journalist's" expert opinion.
Yeah, but why Eminem? Would have made much more sense to use someone like Vanilla Ice. He basically criticized them for rolling with the Beastie Boys instead of A Tribe called Quest, which would make for a competitive playoff series.
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Old 02-08-2019, 08:37 PM   #29
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More black elephant gifts for the Mavs?
By Erica Lubarsky


As Woody Harrelson playfully suggested in the ’90s, you either smoke or you get smoked.

But as our local hoops team has reiterated for four decades, black men can play for the Dallas Mavericks.

Their latest Great Black Hope: Tim Hardaway Jr.

The talented, 6'7" African American was officially introduced to DFW Monday in the wake of last week’s trade with the New York Knicks. The takeaways:

*Hardaway will jack shots up.

*Owner Mark Cuban likes him.

Sure, Nick Van Exel and Michael Finley were good, but the Mavs are more so littered with giant, dark-skinned ghosts … their very own 50 Shades of Gray.

Dennis Smith Jr.

Wesley Matthews

Yogi Ferrell

Nerlens Noel

Johnathan Motley

Quincy Acy

DeAndre Liggins

Jeremy Evans

Javale McGee

Monta Ellis

Rajon Rondo

Amare Stoudamire

DeJuan Blair

Ricky Ledo

Shawn Larkin

Eddie Curry

OJ Mayo

Darren Collison

Kelenna Azuibuke

Lamar Odom

Brendan Haywood

Alexis Ajinca

Roddy Beaubois

Drew Gooden

Erick Dampier

Desagana Diop

Josh Howard

Shawne Williams

Mo Ager

Devean George

Tyronn Lue

Antoine Walker

Juwan Howard

Trenton Hassell

What do they all have in common? They're all disappointing.
No love for the second coming of the Mailman? Randy White! :-O Great work btw!

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