In my best Bill Walton
Shaq's butt ranks up there with the all time best. Andre the Giant, Jennifer Lopez,
Shades of Taro Akebono the great sumo champion from Hawaii. Its a virtual ballet on the court the way Shaqs butt of beauty pushes and spins, floating through the air with the greatest of ease. This butt is the present and future of basketball as we know it. If only the great Dr. J. had had a butt like that, he might have been able to make some headway against my own awe-inspiring greatful dead like play in the great finals series of 1977 that defined what basketball is for an entire generation . . .
10 minutes later
. . . take the Dallas Mavericks for example. There is a near elite team that will not, nay, cannot advance in the playoffs because of the conspicuous absence of a great butt.
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