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Pledge to Be Replaced By “Crescent of Allegiance”
By a4g, Staff Writer @ 11:44 am
U.S. District Court Judge Lawrence Karlton in San Francisco has ruled it unconstitutional to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools. In his ruling, he said that reciting “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance violates the First Amendment, the first in the Bill of Rights, which requires that the federal government take a hands-off approach to religion.
The United States was largely settled by religious dissidents looking for a place to freely practice their beliefs, free of government intervention or sanction.
In his ruling, the judge recommended a commission to investigate the possibility of replacing the pledge with a “Crescent of Allegiance,” which would feature a “non- binding call to all Americans to spend a moment– or not– in contemplation, but behold
them to no higher purpose or power, from which every American is constutionally protected.” The crescent shape was decided upon by the judge “because of its stunning similarity to the exact shape of San Francisco Bay”, and not the main symbol of Islam, as some critics have charged, who also note that the subtle but important wink to Islam is a common practice in more cowardly versions of jurisprudence. (Although Christians are generally known for following court orders, the more fanatical devotees of Allah have been known to file their amicus briefs with ceremonial daggers.)
The new Crescent of Allegiance would be subtly punctuated by the ringing of windchimes as “a gesture of healing and bonding.” The judge anticipated that the dreamy lack of context for the new Crescent should prevent already undereducated children from experiencing the cognitive assault that concepts like “God,” “Allegiance” or “Nation” might cause in their carefully inculcated worldviews.
Judge Karlton, while expressing no God-based allegiance to the United States, is believed to be anxiously anticipating receiving his paycheck at the end of the week.