Dallas-Mavs.com Forums - View Single Post

kriD · 02-22-2007, 07:12 AM

BLOGFISH

Rest In Peace, Dwyane Wade

[By Mike Fisher - DB.com]

As we get ready to roast D-Wade and "The It Team'' of the NBA tonight, we learn that we can only microwave the Heat. Because they were already roasted last night in Houston. But Miami will have an excuse: Wade -- who defies mathematicians and true tough guys everywhere by falling down seven times but getting up eight -- fell-down-go-boom against the Rockets.

And he didn't get up from the floor. ... except to go to the bench, tears welling up in his eyes.

And he didn't get up from the bench. ... until a WHEELCHAIR was rolled down the baseline to carry him to the locker room.

And he didn't get up from the WHEELCHAIR until he moved himself to a STRETCHER.

And he didn't get up from the STRETCHER until he was driven to a Houston hospital.

And, I assume, he will not get up from the hospital unless Aladdin's rug, Cleopatra's barge or H.G. Wells' time machine pulls into the handicapped driveway to carry him.

Karma, you see, has a hellacious sense of humor. Wade -- taking over from Kobe as the NBA's resident Drama Queen and taking over from teammate Shaquille O'Neal as the NBA's resident Speaker of Stupid Things -- spends a great deal of time pretending he's hurt.

Now, maybe he really is. Maybe.

A layman's guess at his fourth-quarter injury? I guessed it was a hyper-extended left shoulder. Wade's dramatic reaction? I guessed it was a late bid for an Oscar. Maybe I'm wrong; Wade didn't make the trip to Dallas last night, and therefore, it's possible that the reaction wasn't yet another attempt to prove himself a "warrior.''

Kids, I've experienced a separated shoulder. It does sting, yes. But for Christ's sake, a hurt shoulder DOESN'T affect one's ability to WALK!! (The shoulder bone is not connected to the thigh bone, is it?) Oh, and while I'm getting my cynicism out of my system: My friends, I've been attending NBA games on an almost-nightly basis for 17 years. ... and I didn't even know the medical staffs at arenas HAD wheelchairs laying around!

Anyway, before I could Wade out of tonight's game. ... what a "warrior'' he would be if he lept from a hospital bed to play in a nationally-televised game! What a "champion'' he would be if he made a last-minute emergency trip from Houston to Dallas just in time for tipoff! What a "courageous hero'' he could be if somehow, will his shoulder -- which almost certainly must be, by now, ravaged by cancer and/or frozen with paralysis -- into cooperating as he leads his sub-.500 team to. ... yet another loss.

Yeah, Wade and the Heat are going to get crushed by the fired-up Mavs and a liquored-up 8:30 p.m. audience. Book it.

Dwyane Wade will absorb a million more "devastating blows.'' Miami will absorb yet another loss.

But, most importantly, D-Wade will get another TV commercial out of it.

02-22-2007, 07:12 AM	#87
kriD Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Germany Posts: 2,039	BLOGFISH Rest In Peace, Dwyane Wade [By Mike Fisher - DB.com] As we get ready to roast D-Wade and "The It Team'' of the NBA tonight, we learn that we can only microwave the Heat. Because they were already roasted last night in Houston. But Miami will have an excuse: Wade -- who defies mathematicians and true tough guys everywhere by falling down seven times but getting up eight -- fell-down-go-boom against the Rockets. And he didn't get up from the floor. ... except to go to the bench, tears welling up in his eyes. And he didn't get up from the bench. ... until a WHEELCHAIR was rolled down the baseline to carry him to the locker room. And he didn't get up from the WHEELCHAIR until he moved himself to a STRETCHER. And he didn't get up from the STRETCHER until he was driven to a Houston hospital. And, I assume, he will not get up from the hospital unless Aladdin's rug, Cleopatra's barge or H.G. Wells' time machine pulls into the handicapped driveway to carry him. Karma, you see, has a hellacious sense of humor. Wade -- taking over from Kobe as the NBA's resident Drama Queen and taking over from teammate Shaquille O'Neal as the NBA's resident Speaker of Stupid Things -- spends a great deal of time pretending he's hurt. Now, maybe he really is. Maybe. A layman's guess at his fourth-quarter injury? I guessed it was a hyper-extended left shoulder. Wade's dramatic reaction? I guessed it was a late bid for an Oscar. Maybe I'm wrong; Wade didn't make the trip to Dallas last night, and therefore, it's possible that the reaction wasn't yet another attempt to prove himself a "warrior.'' Kids, I've experienced a separated shoulder. It does sting, yes. But for Christ's sake, a hurt shoulder DOESN'T affect one's ability to WALK!! (The shoulder bone is not connected to the thigh bone, is it?) Oh, and while I'm getting my cynicism out of my system: My friends, I've been attending NBA games on an almost-nightly basis for 17 years. ... and I didn't even know the medical staffs at arenas HAD wheelchairs laying around! Anyway, before I could Wade out of tonight's game. ... what a "warrior'' he would be if he lept from a hospital bed to play in a nationally-televised game! What a "champion'' he would be if he made a last-minute emergency trip from Houston to Dallas just in time for tipoff! What a "courageous hero'' he could be if somehow, will his shoulder -- which almost certainly must be, by now, ravaged by cancer and/or frozen with paralysis -- into cooperating as he leads his sub-.500 team to. ... yet another loss. Yeah, Wade and the Heat are going to get crushed by the fired-up Mavs and a liquored-up 8:30 p.m. audience. Book it. Dwyane Wade will absorb a million more "devastating blows.'' Miami will absorb yet another loss. But, most importantly, D-Wade will get another TV commercial out of it.