[StackAttack]

Originally Posted by RingTheBell

If he goes east I think the Bulls get him. If he goes west its to Phoenix or Utah.

http://realgm.com/src_wiretap_archiv...lls_scenarios/

Most NBA execs seem to agree: PHX or CHI.

EDIT: Also, Fisher went on a rant:

Wanna beat a deadline, fill some newspaper space and earn a yelping headline? Propose a nonsensical Dirk-for-Kobe trade. Wanna engage in a more reasoned evaluation of the idea that effectively shuts it down? Join me:

1) Let’s start with the start: The Black Mamba doesn’t even want to be dealt from the Lakers. No, wait. Yes he does. No. Yes. No. …

Bryant has spent the last three days pinballing from media outlet to media outlet, from radio talk show to radio talk show, spouting contradictory wishes, pointing fingers, pouting, almost crying, all the time seeking the attention that is this man’s mother’s milk.

Mamba almost clears things up on his own website. … and then “unclears’’ it right away.

“I’m so tired of talking,’’ he told Dan Patrick on one of the four radio shows he did on Wednesday, failing to grasp the irony.

Are you up on the Kobe Kronology?

He went on one radio show in the morning and said that “nothing’’ would permit him to return to LA. “I would like to be traded,’’ he said. “At this point, I’ll go play on Pluto.’’

Moments later, as ESPN was announcing to the world that Kobe’s mind was unchangeable, he was on another radio show. On this one he says the re-hiring of Jerry West might soften his stance. Then in the afternoon he’s on another station and he says he wants to be a Laker “more than anything. I don’t want to go nowhere.’’

Apparently, last night he told an LA Times reporter that (drum roll, please) he wants to be traded.

And you think there are moments when Dirk’s indecisive!?

Really, the only thing clear here is this: Years ago, before he nicknamed himself The Black Mamba, I nicknamed him The Drama Queen. And that’s the moniker that should’ve stuck. The reason I didn’t write about this issue immediately is because I saw the writing on the wall: This is a baby. A baby crying. And sometimes a baby crying needs to be left alone in his crib for awhile.

The Drama Queen is not getting traded. Bodog has the odds on him going (Dallas getting him is at 4-1) but these gamblers are smart; Bodog doesn’t even offer odds on KOBE STAYING. Because that’s what’s going to happen.

In fact, even the DMNews knows its own non-story was never worth the bother. Eddie Sefko almost sneers in his extremely brief story today (my guess: an editor made him write it against his will) dismissing the notion started by his own columnist. Eddie calls it “internet speculation,’’ knowing full well it was Jean-Jacques Taylor speculation that lowlighted the foolishness.

2) Using the same reasoning that prevented them from talking about Shaq-to-Dallas, LA management isn’t trading Kobe to Dallas. That’s the angle from Mavs people who I’ve spoken to, anyway.

3) Nobody in LA believes Kobe will be dealt, period. (This link is to an LA Times column written with the depth of understanding sorely missing in the DMNews’ amateurish attempt at same.) Again, that story was written more than a minute ago, so Kobe changing his mind might change the odds. But it doesn’t change the smart bet, which is that LA will find a way to kiss and make up with its star. (Hey, maybe Jerry Buss – once he sobers up and gets his head outta the 23-year-old crotch -- will buy Kobe a purple-pink diamond ring!)

4) Mark Cuban has an association with some of the finest legal minds in the land. We happen to have a mutual friend, he and I, named, Steve Stodghill, who happens to be the Mavs’ attorney. And Stodg likes associating with Hollywood types. But I do not believe Stodg or anyone else in Cuban’s circle has experience defending accused rapists.

5) Despite the DMNews’ wish that the deal be done, “Straight up. No frills. A simple blockbuster.’’ … the real world isn’t that simple. The author writes that he checked the viability of the deal on a website. What the author does not know is that Kobe has a no-trade clause, just one potential viability clog. (ESPN.com’s trade checker, by the way, approves the deal; RealGM.com’s does not.)

6) My understanding is that Kobe’s contract includes a $13 mil trade kicker. Meaning that his new team, in addition to paying his max-out salary, would immediately have to write him a $13 mil check. Takers?

7) The Mavs have made it clear they do not want to alter the culture of this team and its locker room. Kobe Bean Bryant – from the time he held his press conference in his high-school gym while wearing sunglasses – has always been a 6-7 bundle of culture shock.

8) You don’t trade away a big for a small. If there is any player in the NBA with the skills to overlook this Guideline of GM’ing, it’s The Drama Queen. But like clichés, no matter how tired it is that guideline exists for a reason.

9) How would Dallas be better? Out goes a singular superstar who is the MVP, in comes a singular superstar who is capable of being the MVP. Where’s the upside? Give me Kobe AND Dirk and I’ll dump the rest of the Dallas roster to do it. Seriously, Dirk + Kobe + DJ + Pops + JJB might win! But Kobe OR Dirk? I’m treadmilling there. It makes more sense – for Dallas and LA – to attempt to build on their foundation, rather than tear it down a re-built. For the Lakers, that means keeping Kobe and trying to add, say, Jermaine O’Neal.

10) The root of this story – and the root of many Kobe Bryant stories – is his unquenchable desire to be his own boss, to call organizational shots, to be heard, to be LOVED. He was instrumental in the departure of Shaq (no matter that Kobe now says the source of his ire is that LA was planning to dump Shaq anyway), tried to orchestrate the Lakers’ hiring of Coach K, had to sign off on the return of Phil JackZen, helped assemble the veterans now on his roster, and is now making all this noise because he wants Jerry West as his GM. One report says Kobe will agree to stay if an alleged Iago in the front office is canned. Why would Cuban, Donnie, Avery and any other Mav in a suit or in a uniform want to provide gainful employment to their own eventual executioner?

11) Kobe’s individual brilliance is almost enough to erase the things written about him by his own coach. Almost. From JackZen’s book: He’s “uncoachable.’’ Now, that’s the on-the-record word from the greatest championship-winning coach in NBA history. What more testimony do you need to hear? Phil JackZen can’t reach him. You think Joe Prunty can?

12) The DMNews suggests that Dirk is “soft, perhaps because he didn't learn the game on inner-city black tops, where you call your own fouls, or spend a summer playing at Rucker Park in New York.’’ This demonstrates not only an ignorance regarding Nowitzki’s character, but an ignorance regarding Kobe’s background. Kobe’s greatest lessons in sports came from his father while they lived in Italy, not that far from where Dirk was learning his greatest lessons in sports from his father while they lived in Germany. They both grew up nearer the Eiffel Tower than they did Rucker Park.

Oh, this “inner-city black tops’’ suggestion in the paper is also racist. (Just thought I’d throw that in there.)

13) Kobe is not God. The DMNews backhands Dirk by writing that Bryant “wouldn't go 2-for-13, score eight points and passively hang around the perimeter in the most important game of the season.’’

That’s a fascinating take – and one that should cause the author to forfeit his NBA press credential.

Kobe has failed in some of the EXACT SAME WAYS Dirk has failed – and worse. Check out Kobe’s exits in the last three seasons:

2007: Bryant made four baskets in the first quarter but just one in the second, third and fourth combined as his team, trailing 2-1 in a Round 1 series to Phoenix, lost a pivotal game. Bryant’s line after failing to even attempt a shot in the fourth quarter: 5-of-13 for 15 points.

Folks, Dirk and Kobe had performances that mirrored each other almost EXACTLY. And did so within minutes of each other in this year’s Round 1. And the DMNews columnist overlooks it?

2006: The Lakers were up 3-1 over the Suns before, under the leadership of Bryant, they collapsed and lost the series.

2005: The Lakers won just two of their final 21 games – featuring losing streaks of eight, five, and a season-closing six – and under the leadership of Bryant failed to make the playoffs.

Had enough? Can we move from space-filling Fantasy Basketball and onto real basketball now?

14) OK, one more.

You, DFW, America, have long-bemoaned the atmosphere of the big-time sports world, with its indulgent privilege and its piggy selfishness and its frightening criminal edge. Dirk is a brilliant player, a top-five-or-top-10-in-the-world player, who is guilty of none of those deadly sins. Kobe Bryant is, on the other hand, the poster boy for those deadly sins, including maybe rape, and countless others.

There. Now back to real basketball.