[ShaggyDirk]

The following were taken from actual employee evaluations:

Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

I would not allow this man to breed.

This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.

Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

This man has delusions of adequacy.

He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.

This employee should go far -- the sooner he starts, the better.

This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. <----- my favorite

Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.

Got a full six-pack, but is missing the plastic thingy that holds it together.