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fluid.forty.one · 04-25-2008, 03:28 PM

G3 DONUTS
Tasty Tidbits For Pre-Tipoff Snack
By Mike Fisher -- DB.com

Time to make the donuts. A baker’s dozen … starting with an excuse-making T-Mac imitating Sarcastic Avery:

DONUT 1: T-MAC TALKS LIKE AVERY: On Wednesday afternoon in Dallas, Avery was asked what mistakes he is responsible for as the Mavs fell behind 0-2 in their series.

“It all starts with me,’’ said Sarcastic Avery. “Whenever something goes wrong with the team -- if we're not making free throws, if we're not making layups, if we're not defending -- it's not the players. It's me.’’

Meanwhile, the tone sounds exactly what Tracy McGrady used at about the same time Wednesday to”take responsibility’’ for his Rockets’ 0-2 deficit.

Said T-Mac, mockingly: “It's my fault. It's my fault we missed free throws. It's my fault we lost both games. Blame me. It's my fault we fouled to tie the game up. That's my fault. It's my fault they get easy layups. It's my fault we're not executing well on the offensive end. It's my fault a couple people in the stands ordered Heinekens and they got Budweiser. It's my fault. I'm sorry. ... It's my fault. Everything is my fault. It's my fault. It's T-Mac's fault.’’

The Houston Chronicle didn’t pussy-foot around about T-Mac’s intent. It used words like “wink and nod’’ and “mocking.’’

I’m not pussy-footing around about Avery’s intent, either. Same thing.

And that’s where your Dallas Mavericks’ leadership is at as Game 3 approaches: Our coach is demonstrating the playoff-time maturity and responsibility usually reserved for the likes of Tracy McGrady. And to think, we were hoping he’d grow up to be Red Auerbach.

Cripes.

DONUT 2: CP3’S ANALYSIS OF US: “There's only so many different things you can do in basketball, and that's either trap or go under or go over the pick-and-roll and stuff like that. So whatever they're doing, we've adjusted to it. We had 82 regular-season games to see what different teams try, and that's what it's all about, making adjustments.’’

That’s a quote from Chris Paul. He’s not only making the Mavs look inferior physically. … He’s making them sound inferior intellectually.

DONUT 2: DEL AND PAUL: The Knicks are assembling a list of veteran assistants who could serve as the right-hand man to their new coach (presumed to be Mark Jackson). The NY Daily News mentions Del Harris prominently and Paul Westphal as an aside.

Personally, I’d rather see the Mavs fully utilize Del Harris and others rather than see the Knicks do so, wouldn’t you?

DONUT 3: ARE WE THE OLD BLAZERS?: I thought this as I scanned the mop-up crew Dallas recently sent to the floor in this series. Four backups in their 30’s, and Antoine Wright.

And it occurred to me:

Is it just me, or have the ’08 New Orleans Hornets evolved into the ‘03 Dallas Mavericks while the ’08 Dallas Mavericks have devolved into the ’03 Portland Trailblazers?

I’m not talking about the “Jail-Blazers’’ aspect of that club. I’m talking about the way it was build for a title run: free-spending, big names, reliance on cagey veterans, and finally, some whistling past the grave as they went down.

Remember that first-round series that year? The young Mavs were up but needed a dramatic Game 7 to finally put Portland away.

In the final moment, Dirk jumped up in the air and Steve Nash caught him, an unbridled celebration. Starters Eddie Najera and Raef LaFrentz had reason to celebrate, too. They’d overcome the team with the “established pieces’’ – Scottie Pippen, Rasheed Wallace, Bonzi Wells, Dale Davis, Ruben Patterson, Zach Randolph, Damon Stoudamire, Arvydas Sabonis – and moved on in the playoffs with Nick Van Exel’s “F-‘em’’ attitude.

At this moment, we are those old Blazers. And these Hornets are the young us.

DONUT 4: DIRK ON THE G3 SCENE: “You don’t want to lose at home in the playoffs, so it’s a huge game,’’ Nowitzki said on Thursday. “The only difference is in a Game 7, if you lose, you’re done. In Game 3, you’re not, but it’s going to be extremely difficult to come back from an 0-3 deficit, so you don’t want to even get yourself in that position.’’

Game 3 is Game 7-ish? I’m buying that.

More Dirk: “Hopefully, everybody is fired up tomorrow and we get the crowd involved early and a good start and we’ll be in a good shape. … We’ve got to look forward to Game 3 and let it all hang out. Have some fun out there, let the crowd carry us and hopefully get on that board and make it a series.’’

I’m buying that, too, inasmuch as fans have no choice. I mean, what are you going to do? Boo?

At the same time, I’m reminded of what Bob Ortegel has said and written on DB.com many times: That the players don’t just feed off the crowd; the crowd feeds off the players.

Maybe this can be 20,012 people pulling together?

DONUT 5: THE CHEETAH VS. THE PREY: I’ll offer this quote from an NBA-insider friend of mine without further comment: “The Mavs two best players are Dirk and Kidd. The Hornets’ most dominant player is Paul. He looks athletic – and he makes them look slow. It’s like a cheetah chasing down an ostrich.’’

DONUT 6: YOU’RE RICH!: You are rich, that is, if you somehow bet that Dallas, Phoenix, Houston and Detroit would open their series with a combined 0-7 record.

DONUT 7: YOU’RE RICH AGAIN!: That is, if you ignored the advice of Pop and many others who said the balance in the West is such that home-court advantage would be non-existent in these playoffs. Overall, home teams got off to a 13-3 start.

DONUT 8: DALLAS BASKETBALL AND DALLASBASKETBALL.COM, BOTH LOSING TO HORNETS: The Mavs are behind New Orleans. In the Hardwood Paroxysm survey to find the NBA’s top websites, DallasBasketball.com finished as the runner-up for Best in the Southwest Division, to Hornets247.

They beat us on-court. They beat us online. Dammit!

Congrats to Hornets247 and all.

Dammit.

DONUT 9: ENDURING SCOOP JACKSON: I generally attempt to avoid Scoop Jackson’s ESPN.com contributions as they border on the illiterate. This one, however, sucked me in with the assertion that the Hornets are “the most complete team left in the NBA.’’

Interesting -- though I would’ve valued it more had Scoop said so after seeing NO play 82 games, not after needing 84. But interesting – though poorly-phrased; what does he mean “left in the NBA’’? Has anybody been eliminated yet? Does he mean they are more complete than the 14 teams that are no longer playing?

So it sucked me in. … but it also sucked.

In the first few sentences, Scoop: a) uses the word “who’z’’; b) misuses the word “unassuming’’; c) misspells a word as “its self’’; unnecessarily coins the word “un-defeat’’; and tritely compares the Hornets to Barack Obama.

The editors at DB.com would never allow me to make such mistooks.

DONUT 10: GAME 3 EDGE?: Last night, the Wizards, Raptors and Rockets climbed out of 0-2 holes with victories. We shouldn’t be surprised; going into this year, teams down 0-2 in best-of-sevens went 121-83 in the third game.

I’m looking forward to seeing the Mavs – certainly experienced enough and talented enough – follow the tradition.

DONUT 11: I’M SUING THE MAVS IN SaLaD COUNTY COURT: Somebody named Jonathan Lee Riches apparently gets his kicks out of suing celebrities. His latest target is Mark Cuban, and the suit goes something like this:

"Dunking over my LIfe/Mark Cuban missle crisis on my
civil rights"

Mark Cuban is getting Nowitzki and german soldiers for the Mark Cuban missle crisis on federal inmates, me in
general. I'm in solitary confinement in Ft. Williamsburg. I have no access to proper recreation.
Defendant's bounce basketballs outside my cell all night to tease me. Nowitzki is sending me to Nuremburg trials, because I know the Mavericks bet on basketball games. Also, Mr. Cuban has secret ties with
Broadcast.com execs and Al-Jezzera TV. They plan to shoot be in Dallas because my initials are J.R. If
you spell Dallas backwards it says SaLaD. I'm not being fed right in solitary. I'm being burnt with
Cuban cigars. Dirk is a big jerk! I seek a restraining order from defendants to stop Mavericks basketball for the 2008 season.

Respectfully submitted: Jonathan Lee Riches

Well, at least Jonathan Lee Riches is doing this “respectfully.’’

DONUT 12: LARRY BROWN, FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH: He hasn’t taken the Stanford job, and his agent says he is interested in exploring both college and pro jobs. For what it’s worth.

DONUT 13: RAPPERS AND SUCKAS: Byron Scott is a ‘sucka.’ And his son is a rapper.

04-25-2008, 03:28 PM	#66
fluid.forty.one Moderator Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 19,413	G3 DONUTS Tasty Tidbits For Pre-Tipoff Snack By Mike Fisher -- DB.com Time to make the donuts. A baker’s dozen … starting with an excuse-making T-Mac imitating Sarcastic Avery: DONUT 1: T-MAC TALKS LIKE AVERY: On Wednesday afternoon in Dallas, Avery was asked what mistakes he is responsible for as the Mavs fell behind 0-2 in their series. “It all starts with me,’’ said Sarcastic Avery. “Whenever something goes wrong with the team -- if we're not making free throws, if we're not making layups, if we're not defending -- it's not the players. It's me.’’ Meanwhile, the tone sounds exactly what Tracy McGrady used at about the same time Wednesday to”take responsibility’’ for his Rockets’ 0-2 deficit. Said T-Mac, mockingly: “It's my fault. It's my fault we missed free throws. It's my fault we lost both games. Blame me. It's my fault we fouled to tie the game up. That's my fault. It's my fault they get easy layups. It's my fault we're not executing well on the offensive end. It's my fault a couple people in the stands ordered Heinekens and they got Budweiser. It's my fault. I'm sorry. ... It's my fault. Everything is my fault. It's my fault. It's T-Mac's fault.’’ The Houston Chronicle didn’t pussy-foot around about T-Mac’s intent. It used words like “wink and nod’’ and “mocking.’’ I’m not pussy-footing around about Avery’s intent, either. Same thing. And that’s where your Dallas Mavericks’ leadership is at as Game 3 approaches: Our coach is demonstrating the playoff-time maturity and responsibility usually reserved for the likes of Tracy McGrady. And to think, we were hoping he’d grow up to be Red Auerbach. Cripes. DONUT 2: CP3’S ANALYSIS OF US: “There's only so many different things you can do in basketball, and that's either trap or go under or go over the pick-and-roll and stuff like that. So whatever they're doing, we've adjusted to it. We had 82 regular-season games to see what different teams try, and that's what it's all about, making adjustments.’’ That’s a quote from Chris Paul. He’s not only making the Mavs look inferior physically. … He’s making them sound inferior intellectually. DONUT 2: DEL AND PAUL: The Knicks are assembling a list of veteran assistants who could serve as the right-hand man to their new coach (presumed to be Mark Jackson). The NY Daily News mentions Del Harris prominently and Paul Westphal as an aside. Personally, I’d rather see the Mavs fully utilize Del Harris and others rather than see the Knicks do so, wouldn’t you? DONUT 3: ARE WE THE OLD BLAZERS?: I thought this as I scanned the mop-up crew Dallas recently sent to the floor in this series. Four backups in their 30’s, and Antoine Wright. And it occurred to me: Is it just me, or have the ’08 New Orleans Hornets evolved into the ‘03 Dallas Mavericks while the ’08 Dallas Mavericks have devolved into the ’03 Portland Trailblazers? I’m not talking about the “Jail-Blazers’’ aspect of that club. I’m talking about the way it was build for a title run: free-spending, big names, reliance on cagey veterans, and finally, some whistling past the grave as they went down. Remember that first-round series that year? The young Mavs were up but needed a dramatic Game 7 to finally put Portland away. In the final moment, Dirk jumped up in the air and Steve Nash caught him, an unbridled celebration. Starters Eddie Najera and Raef LaFrentz had reason to celebrate, too. They’d overcome the team with the “established pieces’’ – Scottie Pippen, Rasheed Wallace, Bonzi Wells, Dale Davis, Ruben Patterson, Zach Randolph, Damon Stoudamire, Arvydas Sabonis – and moved on in the playoffs with Nick Van Exel’s “F-‘em’’ attitude. At this moment, we are those old Blazers. And these Hornets are the young us. DONUT 4: DIRK ON THE G3 SCENE: “You don’t want to lose at home in the playoffs, so it’s a huge game,’’ Nowitzki said on Thursday. “The only difference is in a Game 7, if you lose, you’re done. In Game 3, you’re not, but it’s going to be extremely difficult to come back from an 0-3 deficit, so you don’t want to even get yourself in that position.’’ Game 3 is Game 7-ish? I’m buying that. More Dirk: “Hopefully, everybody is fired up tomorrow and we get the crowd involved early and a good start and we’ll be in a good shape. … We’ve got to look forward to Game 3 and let it all hang out. Have some fun out there, let the crowd carry us and hopefully get on that board and make it a series.’’ I’m buying that, too, inasmuch as fans have no choice. I mean, what are you going to do? Boo? At the same time, I’m reminded of what Bob Ortegel has said and written on DB.com many times: That the players don’t just feed off the crowd; the crowd feeds off the players. Maybe this can be 20,012 people pulling together? DONUT 5: THE CHEETAH VS. THE PREY: I’ll offer this quote from an NBA-insider friend of mine without further comment: “The Mavs two best players are Dirk and Kidd. The Hornets’ most dominant player is Paul. He looks athletic – and he makes them look slow. It’s like a cheetah chasing down an ostrich.’’ DONUT 6: YOU’RE RICH!: You are rich, that is, if you somehow bet that Dallas, Phoenix, Houston and Detroit would open their series with a combined 0-7 record. DONUT 7: YOU’RE RICH AGAIN!: That is, if you ignored the advice of Pop and many others who said the balance in the West is such that home-court advantage would be non-existent in these playoffs. Overall, home teams got off to a 13-3 start. DONUT 8: DALLAS BASKETBALL AND DALLASBASKETBALL.COM, BOTH LOSING TO HORNETS: The Mavs are behind New Orleans. In the Hardwood Paroxysm survey to find the NBA’s top websites, DallasBasketball.com finished as the runner-up for Best in the Southwest Division, to Hornets247. They beat us on-court. They beat us online. Dammit! Congrats to Hornets247 and all. Dammit. DONUT 9: ENDURING SCOOP JACKSON: I generally attempt to avoid Scoop Jackson’s ESPN.com contributions as they border on the illiterate. This one, however, sucked me in with the assertion that the Hornets are “the most complete team left in the NBA.’’ Interesting -- though I would’ve valued it more had Scoop said so after seeing NO play 82 games, not after needing 84. But interesting – though poorly-phrased; what does he mean “left in the NBA’’? Has anybody been eliminated yet? Does he mean they are more complete than the 14 teams that are no longer playing? So it sucked me in. … but it also sucked. In the first few sentences, Scoop: a) uses the word “who’z’’; b) misuses the word “unassuming’’; c) misspells a word as “its self’’; unnecessarily coins the word “un-defeat’’; and tritely compares the Hornets to Barack Obama. The editors at DB.com would never allow me to make such mistooks. DONUT 10: GAME 3 EDGE?: Last night, the Wizards, Raptors and Rockets climbed out of 0-2 holes with victories. We shouldn’t be surprised; going into this year, teams down 0-2 in best-of-sevens went 121-83 in the third game. I’m looking forward to seeing the Mavs – certainly experienced enough and talented enough – follow the tradition. DONUT 11: I’M SUING THE MAVS IN SaLaD COUNTY COURT: Somebody named Jonathan Lee Riches apparently gets his kicks out of suing celebrities. His latest target is Mark Cuban, and the suit goes something like this: "Dunking over my LIfe/Mark Cuban missle crisis on my civil rights" Mark Cuban is getting Nowitzki and german soldiers for the Mark Cuban missle crisis on federal inmates, me in general. I'm in solitary confinement in Ft. Williamsburg. I have no access to proper recreation. Defendant's bounce basketballs outside my cell all night to tease me. Nowitzki is sending me to Nuremburg trials, because I know the Mavericks bet on basketball games. Also, Mr. Cuban has secret ties with Broadcast.com execs and Al-Jezzera TV. They plan to shoot be in Dallas because my initials are J.R. If you spell Dallas backwards it says SaLaD. I'm not being fed right in solitary. I'm being burnt with Cuban cigars. Dirk is a big jerk! I seek a restraining order from defendants to stop Mavericks basketball for the 2008 season. Respectfully submitted: Jonathan Lee Riches Well, at least Jonathan Lee Riches is doing this “respectfully.’’ DONUT 12: LARRY BROWN, FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH: He hasn’t taken the Stanford job, and his agent says he is interested in exploring both college and pro jobs. For what it’s worth. DONUT 13: RAPPERS AND SUCKAS: Byron Scott is a ‘sucka.’ And his son is a rapper.