[Flacolaco]

FRISCO, Tex. - The Dallas Stars announced today that the club has plans to enlarge their home penalty box due to the free agent signing of left wing Sean Avery to a four-year contract.

"We are thinking of pushing the rear wall back to the 3rd or 4th row," said Stars Co-General Manager Brett Hull. "His ability to negatively impact his teammates and the game is incredible. He will need internet access, a martini bar, and whore benches in the new box to keep him busy during his extended stays in there."

In 86 games with New York over the last two seasons, the Rangers penalty box was constantly cluttered with Avery's porno mags and fashion catalogs.

Avery, 28, collected 33 points (15 goals, 18 assists) in 57 games with the New York Rangers last season, and banged a lot of whores.