The evening will start off uneventfully enough. Following tip-off, the Spurs will play their game and build a lead on the Mavs entering the 2nd Quarter.
Tony Parker will weave his way through the defense...
Ginobili will take it to the rim at will...
And Bruce Bowen will play smothering defense on the "Nitzki"...limiting him to only a handful of shots.
The Mavericks loyal will look on nervously as the pride of Dallas lose focus and allow the Spurs to continue building their lead in the 2nd. "What will become of us should the Mavericks lose?" they ask. "The Wicked Spurs of the West will surely pillage our villages, ransack our houses, and do unmentionable things to our attractive women!"
Mark Cuban will weep uncontrollably...
BUT WAIT!
Halfway through the 2nd Quarter - something happens...'something' is thrown from the stands and strikes our hero "Nitzki" on the head!
"Scheißen!!!" (Sh*t!!!)
Rubbing his aching skull and looking down to see what struck him, "Nitzki" gives a shout of joy!
'Tis a can of
Mavericks-branded Whoop-Ass!!!
"Nitzki" opens the can with a squeeze of his mighty fist to find that pure glory lies within:
Oh yes...the Spurs are in trouble now...see how their effeminate knees knock together...
It'll only hurt for a second Timmah...just remember to lube up.
"Courtside, in the paint, fadeaway, in your face..."
The Spurs even bring David Robinson out of retirement to slow down the streaking Mavs...but to no avail.
The next 30 minutes of basketball will be remembered as the, "Thirty Most Perfect Minutes of Basketball Ever". The Mavericks do not miss a shot. They limit the Spurs to 0 pts and spank them like a disobedient child. In the final quarter...'Pop' (who will now be referred to as 'son') puts his proverbial tail between his legs and tosses his reserves to the wolves.
The 'Mighty' Spurs can do little but watch the beatdown continue (though Bowen appears more interested in Manu's goodies). Dejected, beaten, and bloodied...the only solace their whipped and red *sses can find is in the plush chairs of their bench. Jeered and ridiculed by their home fans, the Spurs players contemplate retirement, trades, or simply ending it all and going to play for Atlanta.
And finally...it is over.
Victory. Glory. Immortality.
Mark Cuban is so happy he sh*ts himself...
