RE:More jokes..
Ain't It The Truth.....
>
>
>
> 1.Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my
> own pants.
>
> 2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
>
> 3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said,
> Implants?" She hit me.
>
> 4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
>
> 5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
>
> 6. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
> elected.
>
> 7. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
> you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
>
> 8. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words
>
> ....Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
>
> 9. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend
> will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"-
>
> 10. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
> clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up
> in the first place!
>
> 11. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky
> dunk."
>
> 12. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell
> the difference.
>
> 13. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
>
> 14. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
> can in prison?
>
> 15. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT
> cells live forever.
>
> 16. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten
> Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?
>
> 17. Bumper sticker of the year "If you can read this, thank a
> teacher....and since it's in English, thank a soldier.
>
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