By Buster Gunning
After a careful investigation, I have been able to confirm the rumors running rampant throughout the ranks of the many fans in the NBA. It has been substantiated that Mavericks’ owner Mark Cuban does indeed cut his own hair.
Now, granted, I have been cutting my own hair for decades now, what makes this story especially gruesome is that the self-made millionaire and flamboyant owner of the Dallas Mavericks uses the Flowbee haircutting system to do it.
For those who down remember, the Flowbee is haircutting product from the early 90’s that uses vacuum technology which allows users to cut their own hair at even length every time. Their motto stuck in the heads of many as the preached on the Flowbee infomercial that “it sucks as it cuts!”
Understandably, Mr. Cuban dodged many of my questions regarding this discovery giving me only one quote I could use.
“Bill Gates uses the Flowbee,” explained Cuban. “If a multi-billionaire like him can use it, why cant I? That is, if I really did do it, which of course, I didn’t.”
Dallas All-Star Dirk Nowitzki was quick to defend Mr. Cuban.
“The Flowbee ist the cool thing that all zie Germans use. Die vacuum technology ist very efficient und leaves mein hair zehr gemutlich.”
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