[Dooby]

If you are a Nowitzki fan, this is the best article ever. So many great quotable lines.

The Dallas Mavericks blew out the Heat by 20 on Thursday night because Dirk Nowitzki is to basketball what Tony Danza is to bad television.

Nowitzki exposed Miami's issues at power forward (were you aware the Heat even needed one of those with Shaquille O'Wade?) by raining down jumpers from Biscayne Boulevard, Liberty City, Naples and then, just for fun, Beijing.

The only thing more prevalent than points for Nowitzki was the number of curses coming out of the mouths of the guys who allegedly were guarding him.

Not that Udonis Haslem, Rasual Butler or Malik Allen should feel too bad. There aren't many humans on this planet or extraterrestrials on other ones that can match up with Nowitzki's rare combination of size and skills.

Nowitzki went through Miami's assortment of undersized power forwards like a buzz saw through butter, and things don't exactly get easier from here.

''Nowitzki'' is a German word that, translated, means, ''Good Lord, doesn't this guy ever miss?''

He made it look as if Miami's power forwards asked for time off to promote their new album.

There are certain things in life males covet from other males. Mark Cuban's money, for example. Brad Pitt's looks. The President's power. Michael Douglas' wife. But very soon after that on the short list would be `Nowitzki's game.'

There is this funny story in Yao Ming's new book about how a lot of NBA players have Chinese tattoos that don't mean what those players think they mean. Scowling Kenyon Martin, for example, has one that accidentally reads ``indecisive.''

And Nowitzki spent his evening making poor Butler, Haslem and Allen look like they were either indecisive or trying to read whatever the Chinese symbol for it is.

''Dirk was making every shot,'' Nelson said. ``It makes it kind of easy coaching a team that is making all their shots. The Miami Heat defense is very good.''

A frustrated O'Neal, Wade and Van Gundy all got technicals.

Their anger is good.

And some for the Mavs fan in general:

Cuban's excess of offense allows Nelson to send millionaire after millionaire into the game. You have a pretty good team when you beat O'Neal and Wade on the road without an injured Michael Finley and with Jason Terry, Alan Henderson and Stackhouse coming off your bench.

Dallas might not shoot the 60 percent it did in the first half again all season, not even with so many scorers on its bench that, every once in a while, a Jerry Stackhouse will accidentally fall out of coach Don Nelson's pocket.