01-15-2004, 12:43 AM
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#1
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Guru
Join Date: May 2001
Location: sport
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Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
1. Make sure that you pass the ball at least three times on all offensive possessions.
2. Install the picket-fense into the offense.
3. Don't get caught watching the paint dry.
4. Hire a drunk as an assistant coach.
5. Ask an official to throw you out of a game.
6. Play defense so tightly that you know what kind of gum your opponents are chewing.
7. Try and have the head coach fired.
8. Make sure the head coach punches out one of his own players.
9. Have your drunk assistant stumble onto the court and proclaim that it was an offensive foul on the other team.
10. Practice without a basketball.
Do all of this and the Mavs will be set.
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01-15-2004, 12:45 AM
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#2
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,146
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Also, make sure Stefansson comes off the IL and checks into the big game so he can make a huge freethrow by shooting grannie-style.
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01-15-2004, 12:47 AM
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#3
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 8,141
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Quote:
4. Hire a drunk as an assistant coach.
9. Have your drunk assistant stumble onto the court and proclaim that it was an offensive foul on the other team.
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You need another drunk in the coaching staff??
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BELIEVE IT.
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01-15-2004, 12:48 AM
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#4
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Guru
Join Date: May 2001
Location: sport
Posts: 39,432
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RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Mff, yes. A drunk assistant is a must.
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01-15-2004, 12:57 AM
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#5
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 672
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Lemme guess -- then move your NBA franchise to a small Indiana high school town back in the 50's? [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
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07-02-2004, 08:11 PM
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#6
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Golden Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,431
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Quote:
Originally posted by: Murphy3
Mff, yes. A drunk assistant is a must.
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The first time I read this post I laughed so hard and almost spit a beer onto my computer.
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01-15-2004, 12:56 AM
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#7
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Golden Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,208
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RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
11. Hire Gene Hackman as head coach
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"If there's no more questions, I've got a beer that needs consuming."
-- Don Nelson
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01-15-2004, 12:58 AM
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#8
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Guru
Join Date: May 2001
Location: sport
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RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Hire Gene Hackman as the head coach? That's a bit of a stretch, isn't it?
And as for moving the Mavs to Indiana, I don't really think that'd make the fans around Dallas too happy.
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01-15-2004, 12:58 AM
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#9
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Guru
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,363
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RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
12.- Throw a rat on the court.
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01-15-2004, 01:21 AM
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#10
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,482
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Murph you forgot the most important part. Bring back the sharpshooting mute.
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01-15-2004, 01:28 AM
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#11
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 49
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
I can't believe you all almost forgot about me. Don't forget about ol' Jimmy.
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01-15-2004, 01:31 AM
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#12
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Guru
Join Date: May 2001
Location: sport
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Quote:
Originally posted by: jimmychipwood
I can't believe you all almost forgot about me. Don't forget about ol' Jimmy.
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The Mavs already have some long range sharp shooters. There's no reason to add you. You're already on the team. Now if you could just get out of your funk that you've been in all year.
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01-15-2004, 01:33 AM
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#13
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,482
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Jimmy needs to concentrate on school so he can go to college and get out of this town.
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01-15-2004, 11:23 AM
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#14
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 7,673
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Quote:
Originally posted by: jimmychipwood
I can't believe you all almost forgot about me. Don't forget about ol' Jimmy.
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ah, we'll forget about you. but we won't forget about jimmy chiTwood
[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
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01-15-2004, 11:27 AM
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#15
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Guru
Join Date: May 2001
Location: sport
Posts: 39,432
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
BBL, I never had the heart to tell him. He was so close at picking a great name but he fell short just by one letter.
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01-15-2004, 01:30 AM
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#16
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,265
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RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
13. sign that dog from the movie "air bud" to a 10 day.
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01-15-2004, 01:32 AM
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#17
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Melbourne (Aus)
Posts: 2,085
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RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
It's hard to find good sober help these days, Murph may be onto something.
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NOW WITH FREE REP WITH EVERY DRINK!!
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01-15-2004, 11:29 AM
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#18
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 7,673
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RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
i could understand if the p and t were close on the keyboard... but they're pretty far away from each other...
i could have accepted a typo over blatant disregard for the correct spelling. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
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01-15-2004, 11:44 AM
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#19
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The Preacha
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Rock
Posts: 36,066
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RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
17. Never, and I mean never, let Walker shoot another three or free throw.....and slap Nellie 100 times before every game while saying, "you are not a genius..you have better talent that the other guys....dont try to be smart....just play Bradley....."
__________________
ok, we've talked about the problem of evil, and the extent of the atonement's application, but my real question to you is, "Could Jesus dunk?"
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01-15-2004, 11:54 AM
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#20
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 5,832
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
"CLAP"
"CLAP"
"CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
"CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP" "CLAP"
__________________
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell. – Thomas Fuller
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01-15-2004, 11:58 AM
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#21
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The Preacha
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Rock
Posts: 36,066
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RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
and here I thought they had the clap pretty well under control these days....
__________________
ok, we've talked about the problem of evil, and the extent of the atonement's application, but my real question to you is, "Could Jesus dunk?"
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01-16-2004, 10:04 AM
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#22
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 5,832
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
That's an ender.
__________________
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell. – Thomas Fuller
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01-16-2004, 01:42 PM
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#23
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 3,283
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Classic thread.
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01-16-2004, 03:25 PM
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#24
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,289
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Quote:
Originally posted by: Fidel
Classic thread.
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you're telling me, and here i was, ignoring it because I thought it was just going to be another one of Murphs boring rant threads [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img] [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img] [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
(i'm joking murph [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif[/img])
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01-16-2004, 03:46 PM
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#25
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Guru
Join Date: May 2001
Location: sport
Posts: 39,432
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
If you didn't have your mod skirt on....
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06-29-2004, 11:52 PM
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#26
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Golden Member
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Deep Ellum
Posts: 1,260
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RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Yeah it was Merle Webb (real life name is Kent Poole) who killed himself, the guy who hit the winning shot coming around the picket fence called by Shooter Flatch.
Oh and Murph, it was 4 passes [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
18. call the opposing team's players a bunch of gorillas.
Here's a little piece of movie info for all you Hoosiers fans: At the end of the film, when the team is getting ready to go out to play in the state championship game, coach Dale points at a chalkboard with some of the opposing players names and numbers on it. The names on the board are the Hickory players real life names. The leading scorer, Boyle, is the real life name of Whit Butcher the guy who said the classic line "I ain't no gizzard".
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06-30-2004, 06:42 AM
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#27
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Guru
Join Date: May 2001
Location: sport
Posts: 39,432
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RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Rod, we had to reduce the number a bit to be more realistic. Can you expect the Mavs to pass 4 times every possession? Three's all that we could hope for.
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