Texas Tech's Knight pulls a Cheney

[EricaLubarsky]

BY GREG COUCH Sun-Times Columnist
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/couch...greg30.article

Bobby Knight. Holding a hunting gun. Leaning against a pickup truck.

And a hillbilly comes up to him, yelling at him to move.

I mean, really, where am I supposed to go with this? There is no punch line. It really happened. You need to see the video. It's on the Sun-Times site now, suntimes.com, and making the rounds.

Knight and a friend apparently were hunting doves, the symbols of peace, last month and got a little too close to some guy's house. The guy came out with his camcorder, and said:

''Pellets fell on m' house. I don't want no pellets landing on my house while I'm playin' in my swimmin' pool.''

Now, I probably shouldn't have called the guy a hillbilly. For all I know, he might be the CEO of IBM. But he sounds exactly like Larry, who had a brother Darryl and his other brother Darryl, on the old Newhart show. To hear him talk is to know that that swimmin' pool is more of a cee-ment pond.

Would you confront a gun-wielding Bobby Knight?

''I DIDN'T SHOOT ONCE IN THAT DIRECTION!'' Knight yelled back.

The guy's name is James Simpson of Lubbock, Texas, and he told police he had been struck in the neck and back by pellets after yelling at Knight. Unfortunately, he didn't get that on tape, if it really happened.

But Mary Ann Chumley, Simpson's neighbor, told the Associated Press that she had been struck on the foot by a stray pellet a day earlier, and that Knight had apologized for hunting too close to her barn.

Knight apparently was hunting with a buddy named Bubba.

Bob ''Bubba'' Curtis of Bob's Woodworks.

I'm not making any of this up.

''I asked you to move down. I don't call the police on nobody,'' Simpson said in the video.

''YOU DIDN'T ASK US TO MOVE DOWN,'' Knight yelled. ''YOU SWORE AND CUSSED AND ...''

''That's exactly what I said,'' Simpson yelled back. ''I'm asking you now to move down so the pellets don't land on my house again.''

''YOU ASK US POLITELY,'' Knight said. ''I'LL BE GLAD TO DO IT.''
Laugh if you can

I'm not making any of this up. Bobby Knight was lecturing someone on manners and on using bad language.

The guy was in the pool and pellets were falling. To me, that's reason enough to get uppity.

I'm supposed to offer perspective on events in the sports world. It's true that Knight can't stay out of trouble, even after being exiled to Texas Tech, where he now coaches. And a few years ago, he accidentally shot a man in the shoulder with pellets while hunting, and then apparently tried to cover it up.

The moral? I don't have one. Don't give Bobby Knight or Dick Cheney guns?

Face it, there is no lesson to be learned here. Knight is a spectacle. Just watch. Listen. Laugh.

I'll keep putting Knight's quotes in all capital letters.

''Just move down.''

''WE'LL DO THAT IF YOU DO IT POLITELY.''

''I already did politely.''

''NO, YOU DIDN'T. YOU'RE SWEARING AND CUSSING AND YELLING. I DON'T NEED THAT.''

The guy mentioned that he was taping, and Knight told him he didn't care. During the argument, the guy told Knight to quit moving his gun toward him. Knight said he wasn't moving the gun toward him. The guy told him it was on tape, but unfortunately the gun was out of the frame by then.

Knight dumped the gun in his truck and continued to argue.

''I DIDN'T SHOOT THAT. I CAN'T HELP THAT.''

''I'm askin' you to move down further. Go down to them trees down there. That's far enough away from my house.''

''WELL, WHY DO I HAVE TO MOVE WHEN I DIDN'T SHOOT AT YOUR HOUSE?''
It just gets sillier

Did you know I once called a psychiatrist to ask what's wrong with Bobby Knight's brain? The guy gave me some lengthy clinical term about the chemical composition of lobes, and then broke it down.

Put two decks of cards on a table. With one deck, you make a small amount of money or lose a small amount with each card you turn. In the end, you win out. With the other deck, you win big or lose big. In the end, you lose big. After a while, the subject figures out what's happening. But Knight would continue with the win big/lose big deck anyway.

''How 'bout if I come to your house and shoot and have pellets land in your backyard? You wouldn't like it.''

''I DIDN'T DO THAT.''

''You two are the only people out here shootin'.''

''WELL, MAYBE BOB DID IT.''

Now, this was interesting. Knight was blaming Bubba, his friend. Simpson said he wanted both of them to move.

''WELL, BASICALLY, WE DON'T HAVE TO.''

Knight argues like a fourth-grader. A fourth-grader with a gun.

I don't know where this fits in with chair-throwing, player-choking, assistant-coach punching and all the other stuff Knight has done. But guns, hillbillies, camcorders -- and all over shooting the symbol of peace.

I've always thought one thing for sure about Knight: It won't end well.

''And I caught ya stealin' catfish out of my pond.''

I'm not making this up. Not one word.

AP -
Police reports of an alleged shooting incident involving Bob Knight differ slightly from the account given by the Lubbock man who said the Texas Tech coach or his hunting buddy fired birdshot his way.

James Simpson told The Associated Press that birdshot came into his yard three times on Oct. 21, and three times he yelled from a distance at Knight and the other man to move away from his home to hunt dove.

But, according to the police report, he only told the officer about just one instance when birdshot hit his house, after which he yelled at the two hunters to "back up." Then, the report states, a pellet struck his head. Simpson told the AP that pellets hit his neck and back

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