your wishes granted: a timewaster - Page 4 - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

Evilmav2 · 07-18-2007, 08:23 PM

Granted, but because you aren't a good enough drinker to compete in s real drinking league, you had to 'Juwanna Mann' your way into a woman's competitive league to earn your salary.

I wish I'd finished building my towed BBQ smoker last weekend, so that right now I could stare at it and admire it, and maybe be able to soon cook the two whole suckling pigs that have been taking up half of the space in my stand up freezer for the last week...

sike · 07-18-2007, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evilmav2

I wish I'd finished building my towed BBQ smoker last weekend, so that right now I could stare at it and admire it, and maybe be able to soon cook the two whole suckling pigs that have been taking up half of the space in my stand up freezer for the last week...

granted...but as you are enjoying your suckling...a tribe of pigmis attacks and eat your arms...boohoo now you have no amrs!

I wish evil had arms.

rabbitproof · 07-19-2007, 02:19 AM

Granted. Evil has 6 arms.

I wish breakfast time was an official hour of the day.

Male30Dan · 07-19-2007, 02:43 AM

Granted...but it starts at 2am!

I wish training camp was tomorrow!!!

u2sarajevo · 07-19-2007, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Male26Dan

Granted...but it starts at 2am!

I wish training camp was tomorrow!!!

Granted. Training camp starts tomorrow for GLeBaT Football League (Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Transexual Football League). Congratulations on getting your wish?

I wish the Spurs would get KG, Steve Francis, and Jermaine O'Neal which works their fans up into an unbelievable frenzy but never ever win another Championship ever. Ever.

Male30Dan · 07-19-2007, 09:21 AM

Grantet. But the Suns win every single championship from here on out and Nash plays until he is 103 making even Chum's grandkid an all-star.

I wish training camp for the National Football League started today, July 19, 2007, allowing me to read consistent great news about the Dallas Cowboys without any possibility of injury or the inability to win a superbowl. In addition to this wish, I also wish that U2 would grow a vidalia onion out of his forehead.

Henry_VIII · 07-19-2007, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Male26Dan

Grantet. But the Suns win every single championship from here on out and Nash plays until he is 103 making even Chum's grandkid an all-star.

I wish training camp for the National Football League started today, July 19, 2007, allowing me to read consistent great news about the Dallas Cowboys without any possibility of injury or the inability to win a superbowl. In addition to this wish, I also wish that U2 would grow a vidalia onion out of his forehead.

Granted. The other 29 teams unfortunately read the great news and all withdraw from the NFL to join Cuban's UFL allowing the Cowboys to win the Superbowl by forfeit.

Bono dies from the onion in his forehead.

I wish myself a happy birthday.

Ninkobei · 07-19-2007, 11:36 AM

granted. but everyone else ignores your birthday and they make you do all kinds of grueling tasks. such as going see Hairspray wearing a fat-chick suit and a mask that looks kind of like john travolta with your ex-girlfriend, who in no way finds you attractive any longer but still wants to be "friends." oh, and you have to pay for the whole thing, including concession stand beverages and popcorn and the beloved $2.00 pickle.

I wish I could make hot sauce like the kind found at Tino's

Flacolaco · 07-19-2007, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ninkobei

granted. but everyone else ignores your birthday and they make you do all kinds of grueling tasks. such as going see Hairspray wearing a fat-chick suit and a mask that looks kind of like john travolta with your ex-girlfriend, who in no way finds you attractive any longer but still wants to be "friends." oh, and you have to pay for the whole thing, including concession stand beverages and popcorn and the beloved $2.00 pickle.

I wish I could make hot sauce like the kind found at Tino's

Granted, you are now an expert hot sauce maker. Sadly, you have been relocated to mexico, and your citizenship revoked. You will marry a lovely woman named Leticia, who, incidentally is wider than she is tall;

I wish people wouldn't post spoilers for the new HP book on the internet.

bobatundi · 07-19-2007, 12:14 PM

Granted--but the final book is not released until 2017.

I wish a diet of nothing but cheese was healthy for me.

Male30Dan · 07-19-2007, 01:55 PM

Granted. It is called Atkins but you fail to shit for a month and die of poogestion.

I wish I didn't have this headache.

sike · 07-19-2007, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Male26Dan

Granted. It is called Atkins but you fail to shit for a month and die of poogestion.

I wish I didn't have this headache.

granted. but the pills you took gave you butt cancer.

I wish I hadn't sold danny those pills.

mcsluggo · 07-19-2007, 02:39 PM

granted.
His check bounced...
leading to your mortgage check bouncing...
leading to your bank foreclosing on your house...
leading to your family getting klicked out onto the street...
leading to your wife dumping you to live in a love loft with Flaco, Kato Kailin, maleDan and Carot-top.

I wish I hadn't just eaten a pound bag of M&Ms.

edit... oh yeah, and Danny brought his moose to the loft as well....

sike · 07-19-2007, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

I wish I hadn't just eaten a pound bag of M&Ms.

granted. but sugar was the only thing that made your life worth living...

I wish mcsluggo had eaten those M&Ms....

Henry_VIII · 07-19-2007, 02:44 PM

granted. But now sugar no longer makes his life worth living.

I wish I could fly in a lawn-chair suspended by balloons.

sike · 07-19-2007, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Henry_VIII

I wish I could fly in a lawn-chair suspended by balloons.

granted. your life is now that dumb movie.

I wish Henry hadn't beheaded Ann Boleyn

Henry_VIII · 07-19-2007, 02:48 PM

granted. I beheaded sike instead.

I wish sike were human.

sike · 07-19-2007, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Henry_VIII

I wish sike were human.

granted. But I take to my humanity about as well as Bender did his....

I wish Spider Man was my friend

Henry_VIII · 07-19-2007, 03:10 PM

granted. meet your new best buddy Rod Crawford

I wish the world was a nicer place to live in.

sike · 07-19-2007, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Henry_VIII

I wish the world was a nicer place to live in.

granted. People are nicer...but only because the pods have taken us...

I wish I still had all my G.I. Joes from when I was a kid...

Evilmav2 · 07-19-2007, 03:31 PM

Granted, but they've all been chewed up by your dog...

I wish a monstrous tidal wave would devastate and scour the East coast of the United States sometime in the near future.

sike · 07-19-2007, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evilmav2

I wish a monstrous tidal wave would devastate and scour the East coast of the United States sometime in the near future.

granted. But all those yanks now move to your neighborhood. (That'll teach you to screw with my GI Joes!)

Flacolaco · 07-19-2007, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

granted. But all those yanks now move to your neighborhood. (That'll teach you to screw with my GI Joes!)

Granted...wait....?

I wish sike would play the game right.

u2sarajevo · 07-19-2007, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

I wish sike would play the game right.

Granted. However now he calls you 24x7 begging you to play with him, and no matter what you do he won't stop calling. You leave the phone off the hook and he comes to your door.... banging on the door and ringing the doorbell begging you to play the game with him. You attempt to get a restraining order but that's denied so you spend the rest of your days having to listen to sike's begging all because you just wanted him to play the game right. Happy?

I wish I could find a House I was happy with.

Flacolaco · 07-19-2007, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

Granted. However now he calls you 24x7 begging you to play with him, and no matter what you do he won't stop calling. You leave the phone off the hook and he comes to your door.... banging on the door and ringing the doorbell begging you to play the game with him. You attempt to get a restraining order but that's denied so you spend the rest of your days having to listen to sike's begging all because you just wanted him to play the game right. Happy?

I wish I could find a House I was happy with.

Granted. You have found the tv show "House" on the FOX network. You are "smitten" with it. You are the smitten kitten, with your House. Sadly, being "smitten" has also increased your attendance at the local gay bath house.

I wish u2's wife luck as she and her children embark upon their new lives without their allegedly gay father.

bobatundi · 07-20-2007, 01:51 PM

Granted...but they move in with you and now YOU have those extra mouths to feed.

I wish someone would sign me to the MLE.

Flacolaco · 07-20-2007, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobatundi

Granted...but they move in with you and now YOU have those extra mouths to feed.

I wish someone would sign me to the MLE.

Granted. Isiah Thomas has signed you with the knicks and decided to make you the starting center in the opener, who will be the Miami Heat. You spend the next 12 weeks after that eating out of a straw and being criticized in the media for being too soft after running into shaq and bouncing off of him in spectacular fashion into the 4th row.

But the new bobatundi jerseys with the new 'Duck' logo on the front are selling like hotcakes.

That Isiah Thomas sure is a smart guy.

I wish Isiah Thomas were even dumber. (have fun with that one now kids)

sike · 07-20-2007, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

I wish Isiah Thomas were even dumber. (have fun with that one now kids)

granted. But he his idiocy has now reached such great lengths that it is now at the other end of the spectrum of genius. Good job, you just wished Isiah Thomas into a genius.

I wish I had a car that ran on air.

Dirkadirkastan · 07-20-2007, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

granted. But he his idiocy has now reached such great lengths that it is now at the other end of the spectrum of genius. Good job, you just wished Isiah Thomas into a genius.

Sorry, sike, that's a brick. I think we should give you another chance.

MavsX · 07-23-2007, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirkadirkastan

Sorry, sike, that's a brick. I think we should give you another chance.

Granted. Unfortunately for you, your wish is not valid. The default wish will be used. And as we all know the default wish is you for fans to be able to hang out with the mavs players, unfortunately you love them so much you end up getting a restraining order against you..so you can no longer hang out with them...while we all can.(sorry, this is getting dumber.)

I wish it didn't cost me $55.00 dollars to fill up my gas tank every week.

bobatundi · 07-23-2007, 03:48 PM

Granted. You now have a 2-gallon tank and, while it's cheap to fill up, you have to stop for gas every 30 miles.

I wish people would realize that ethanol is for drinking, not for powering cars. Except gin--that tastes worse than gasoline.

bernardos70 · 07-23-2007, 04:34 PM

(Next time you are at your local bar, ask for a Tom Collins, that'll change you opinion of gin. You can thank me later).

Granted. They now realize the best way to power cars is by using......... your blood type. Extreme acts of violence take place all over the country as Hummer owners kill several people just to get to work, GTA-style.

I wish Brazil would win more gold medals at the panamerican games.

bobatundi · 07-23-2007, 05:41 PM

Granted. Brazil wins every medal at the panamerican games for the next decade, only to have them all taken away in a "doping" scandal when it's discovered all their athletes have been drinking a blend of type A-positive blood and Tom Collins mix to maintain their strength and endurance.

I wish I'd bet the over on some of those games Donaghy was reffing.

mcsluggo · 07-24-2007, 08:36 AM

granted.

Meet your new cellmate... he'll call you "my sweet little nightingale" for the rest of your incarceration.

I wish I were back at the beach.

bobatundi · 07-25-2007, 11:01 AM

Granted, you're on the beach. It's a nude beach. An all-male, all-gay nude beach.

I wish Brandon Bass stood 7'2" tall.

Henry_VIII · 07-26-2007, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobatundi

I wish Brandon Bass stood 7'2" tall.

Granted. The Hornets have now reevaluated his value and match the Mavs offer.

I wish the NBA would fix the reffing problems.

MavsX · 07-26-2007, 11:05 PM

Granted. The NBA fixed the problem with the bum refs. David Stern decided to hire a new referee to replace Tim Donaghy. Unfortunately the new referee is a Sith Lord and he is converting all the other referees to the dark side. As we all know the San Antonio Spurs have been part of the dark side since the 80's(hence the championships)..so as of this moment all calls go against the Mavericks. Great..just great....!

By MavsX at 2007-07-26

i wish the tv show "seinfeld", would not have stopped at the 9th season(or earlier)...i wish it could go on for a bit longer. and still be hilarious.

FINtastic · 02-18-2010, 05:26 AM

I'm kinda wondering why this thread's life ended so soon.

I wish this thread got resurrected from the ashes.

Underdog · 02-18-2010, 10:33 AM

Granted... Some threads need to die a painful death, but this one shall be resurrected, if for no other reason than to clutter up the board a bit more.

I wish that kitten in me freezer was still edible...

FINtastic · 02-18-2010, 02:10 PM

Granted, but you must eat the asparagus next to it as well.

I wish I had X-Ray vision.