03-12-2009, 05:28 PM
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#3081
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Deutschland
Posts: 7,885
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
I heard my wife will finish school in may
I hope my sexlife becomes more civilized when i get my crayons back
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Way to go, bro´
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Last edited by GermanDunk; 03-12-2009 at 05:37 PM.
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03-12-2009, 06:55 PM
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#3082
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GermanDunk
The way to go is a bromance. All the advantages of a romance with no chance for offspring!
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And what do you know, here's my stop.
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03-12-2009, 08:25 PM
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#3083
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
And whatever you do, do it to me first. And please don't stop.
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Have you seen the movie Milk? Seems like it'd be right up your alleys....
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03-12-2009, 09:04 PM
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#3084
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
Do you still drink your Mothers Milk? I do....
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That IS quite a confession.
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03-13-2009, 12:59 PM
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#3085
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
That IS quite a "confession." But I forgot to "read you your rights."
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Are you auditioning for that police porno again?
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03-17-2009, 03:25 PM
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#3086
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
Quote:
Do you still drink your Mothers Milk? I do....
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That IS quite a confession.
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Well, if you ain't gonna drink you mother's milk, someone will.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
Are you auditioning for that police porno again? Please don't misplace the keys to the cuffs like the last guy, my wrists are still sore!
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That is all sorts of awful....
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Let's go Mavs!
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03-17-2009, 04:11 PM
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#3087
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
Are you auditioning for that police porno again? Please don't misplace the keys to the cuffs like the last guy, my wrists are still sore!
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That is all sorts of wonderful.... When is the DVD going to be ruhleased?
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There is no "uh" in released.
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03-17-2009, 06:57 PM
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#3088
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
There is "sex" in sextuplets.
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I think you're going to be disappointed when you hear the reason why...
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03-18-2009, 10:21 AM
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#3089
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
I think you're going to be disappointed when you hear me go BM.
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Why would he hear you doing that?
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03-18-2009, 10:24 AM
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#3090
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
Why would he hear you doing that? He wouldn't if you would just install a bum-muffler.
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I highly doubt that is an actual product you can purchase.
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03-18-2009, 10:46 AM
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#3091
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
I highly doubt that deodorant is an actual product you can purchase.
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How did you manage to procreate?
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03-18-2009, 11:05 AM
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#3092
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
How did you manage to procreate? I've been sticking my finger in my wife's ear and spitting and still nothing!
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I think you need to talk to your Father again for some clarification on the whole procedure.
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03-18-2009, 11:13 AM
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#3093
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
You came out with boobs?? I think you need to talk to your doctor again for some clarification on the whole procedure.
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Yikes! I would talk to my lawyer!
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03-18-2009, 11:19 AM
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#3094
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
My penis has it's own lawyer!
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You are very strange.
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03-18-2009, 01:24 PM
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#3095
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
I have the hots for Danny Granger.
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I hope that is just a weird way for you to say you like him as a player....
__________________
Let's go Mavs!
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03-18-2009, 01:58 PM
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#3096
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
I have the hots for Danny Granger.
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I hope that is just a weird way for you to say you like him as a payer....
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Actually, it sounds like the correct term would be 'payee.'
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03-18-2009, 04:08 PM
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#3097
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Forgive me Junior
Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
You are such a RICK without the R.
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ICK?
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03-18-2009, 05:16 PM
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#3098
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
ICK with double the D? Sign me up.
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What?
Last edited by Flacolaco; 03-18-2009 at 05:16 PM.
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03-18-2009, 05:40 PM
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#3099
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
How much urine can a person safely consume?
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Vat?
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Please tell me you are trying out a German accent...
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03-18-2009, 06:03 PM
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#3100
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Deutschland
Posts: 7,885
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
Please tell me you are trying out a austrian oaccent...
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Wos is des ?
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03-18-2009, 10:36 PM
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#3101
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GermanDunk
FC Bayern München forever!
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Traitor....
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03-19-2009, 10:20 AM
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#3102
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
I'm a player in the stock market. Last May 2 I reached 10 million dollars and decided to just quit, lay back, and let my money multiply. I've been in the Amazon since and just got back. I'm about to check my accounts right now, I bet I'm up to at least 12 million baby....
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Step away from the window and don't get the gun.
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03-19-2009, 12:48 PM
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#3103
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
Why, hello there...
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Step away from the widow and don't touch her gums.
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I didn't know funeral-crashers fought for territory...
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Last edited by DirkFTW; 03-19-2009 at 12:49 PM.
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03-19-2009, 02:00 PM
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#3104
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
I didn't know funeral-crashers fought for territory...well, less competition for me and my "feeding" of ducks!
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I am not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure there's some sort of law that says that's not legal....
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03-19-2009, 02:57 PM
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#3105
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
I am not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure I could dress up like one before we do something that's not legal....
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Is that supposed to get you a free pass card or something?
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03-19-2009, 03:04 PM
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#3106
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
Is that supposed to help you a pass gas or something? Cause I need it bad.
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Not interested in hearing about your gastric problems, buddy....
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03-19-2009, 03:17 PM
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#3107
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
Not interested in hearing your gastric problems, but tasting.... that's another story.
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You're so far past the line, you can't even see it! The line is a dot to you.
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Last edited by DirkFTW; 03-19-2009 at 03:18 PM.
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03-20-2009, 09:04 AM
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#3108
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Golden Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 1,970
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
Follow the line created by my two buttocks, (my butt is kinda big, so sometimes you can't even see it!) The line ends at a little pink and brown dot. deposit your package there..
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whatthe?!!?
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03-20-2009, 09:35 AM
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#3109
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcsluggo
While driving to work this morning, I saw a cop in front of the local elementary school. I gave him my gangsta look and sped through the Fing school zone at 31 mph. The dude was too scared to come after me!!!!
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It's spring bre... I mean, I think you are on to something here. Test it again on Monday.
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Last edited by DirkFTW; 03-20-2009 at 09:35 AM.
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03-20-2009, 10:11 AM
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#3110
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
The posts on this board are great....in a "special olympics" kind of way.
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Where did you learn to be so offensive like that?
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03-20-2009, 01:43 PM
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#3111
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
Where did you learn to be so offensive like that? Meow.
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Please leave your Mike D'antoni fantasy lines out of this forum.
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03-22-2009, 10:49 AM
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#3112
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Golden Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 1,751
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
I have sexual fantasies with Mike D'antoni.
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Wait was it with Steve Nash or Eddy Curry?
3some?
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03-23-2009, 08:25 AM
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#3113
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaVs 41 BaLler
Wait is Steve Nash back in Dallas?
How about we ask for a 10some, since the fan club is all here?
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You know... maybe he didn't leave for the cash after all...
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03-24-2009, 11:17 AM
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#3114
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
You know... maybe he didn't leave for the ass after all...
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I'm not sure what you're implying.
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03-24-2009, 11:24 AM
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#3115
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
I'm not sure what I'm imbibing.
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Then why not stop?
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03-24-2009, 01:12 PM
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#3116
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
Lost mysteries from this year I want answered: what the heck was that 'package' Ben whipped out at the Hotel!!!
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I apparently stopped watching at a very good time.
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03-24-2009, 01:56 PM
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#3117
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
I apparently stopped whoring at a very good time.
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Did you hear that industry is being impacted hard by the economy or something?
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03-24-2009, 01:59 PM
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#3118
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
Did you hear that my hiney is being impacted hard nightly?
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No, I stopped listening to your podcast for exactly that reason.
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03-24-2009, 02:16 PM
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#3119
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
I listen because I care.
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Funny, I stopped listening to you for exactly that reason.
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*drum drum cymbal*
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03-24-2009, 03:31 PM
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#3120
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
What else was on u2's podcast?
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Regular segments included:
"Sike's penis looks like..."
"This Week, in my colon"
"60 seconds with Hookers of the Greater North Central Texas Area"
And
"Down Home Country Livin' with u2: How to cook and pee in the same tin can"
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