07-30-2009, 10:52 PM
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#3241
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The Preacha
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Rock
Posts: 36,066
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
Call me Seymour
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I sense a butt joke is nigh...
__________________
ok, we've talked about the problem of evil, and the extent of the atonement's application, but my real question to you is, "Could Jesus dunk?"
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07-31-2009, 11:42 AM
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#3242
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sike
I sense a butt is nigh...
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That is quite a disturbing superpower you have...
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
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08-24-2009, 09:48 AM
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#3243
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
I will give you....13 dollars...and...let's see what I have in my pocket here....a handful of flavored condoms if you'll start posting in this thread again.
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Uhhh...I don't know...
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08-24-2009, 11:51 AM
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#3244
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
Uhhh...I don't know why but when I was at the pool, people kept saying "Looks like someone's flossing!"
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You may need a looser pair of swim trunks.
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
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08-24-2009, 12:26 PM
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#3245
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
You may need to lose your swim trunks so I can see your pair.
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Getting a wee bit explicit for these family fora, aren't we?
__________________
Let's go Mavs!
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08-24-2009, 01:56 PM
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#3246
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
Anyone ever get a wee bit explicit with the family flora?
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No, I have never spoken to any plants, let alone in a manner of full disclosure.
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
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08-24-2009, 03:31 PM
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#3247
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Golden Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 1,970
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
Everyone that has ever spoken to me has compared the experience to interacting with a potted plant.
what does that mean?
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you need to work on socializing skills.
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08-24-2009, 03:53 PM
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#3248
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcsluggo
you need to work on fellatio skills.
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His errr...."inadequacies" aside, we don't need to know about it.
Last edited by Flacolaco; 08-24-2009 at 03:53 PM.
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08-25-2009, 11:03 AM
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#3249
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Golden Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 1,970
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
His errr...."inadequacies" aside, what a PERFECT slab of manmeat!
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grill at 350 degrees for 14 minutes, don't forget to baste.
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08-25-2009, 11:08 AM
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#3250
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Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 41.21.1
Posts: 36,143
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcsluggo
you'll want to cook your crystal meth at 350 degrees for 14 minutes, don't forget to baste.
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I always figured there was something a little off about you...
__________________
These days being a fan is a competition to see who can be the most upset when
your team loses. That proves you love winning more. That's how it works.
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08-25-2009, 11:44 AM
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#3251
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Underdog
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcsluggo
I prefer mutton.
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I always figured there was something a little off about ewe... haha! Get it?
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As punishment for this gross violation of the natural order of humor, you are hereby commanded to give up Felix Jones. I'm sorry, but it's the law.
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
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09-14-2009, 10:17 AM
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#3252
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
Flaco deflated my football wiener.
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That sounds really bad. I think what you meant to say, is that my fantasy team is destroying yours.
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09-14-2009, 10:57 AM
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#3253
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Golden Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 1,970
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
This sounds really bad..... but I still have to say it, my fantasy is to personally destroy your anus.
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uh... wow. just keep your thoughts to yourself from here on out, ok?
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09-14-2009, 12:16 PM
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#3254
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcsluggo
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
This sounds really bad..... but I still have to say it, my fantasy is to personally destroy Uranus.
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uh... wow. I think you succeeded because I can't sit down today.
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That went from evil to creepy in a hurry.
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
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09-18-2009, 10:28 AM
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#3255
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
This message board is deader than that hamster that crawled into my anoose.
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I think you misspelled that last word. You sicko.
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09-19-2009, 12:57 PM
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#3256
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
I think you misplaced my hamster*. You sicko.
*=peenus
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Why did you have to write it in such tiny letters?
__________________
Let's go Mavs!
Last edited by bernardos70; 09-19-2009 at 12:57 PM.
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09-21-2009, 03:56 PM
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#3257
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Golden Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 1,970
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
Can you read what i have written on my scrotum in tiny letters?
here... come closer... it will make it easier.....
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No thank you. I am actually just as happy NOT knowing what that says.
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09-22-2009, 04:14 PM
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#3258
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcsluggo
Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
Can you read?? That says "LADIES RESTROOM"
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No thank you. I am actually just as happy NOT knowing what that says.
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I don't think that'll hold up in court.
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
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09-24-2009, 12:31 AM
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#3259
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The Preacha
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Rock
Posts: 36,066
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
I don't think that'll hold up my pants.
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please be talking about a belt.
__________________
ok, we've talked about the problem of evil, and the extent of the atonement's application, but my real question to you is, "Could Jesus dunk?"
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09-24-2009, 01:00 AM
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#3260
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sike
please be spaking me with a belt.
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If you didn't get disciplined like that when you were a kid, I don't think that'll serve much purpose now other than for your own entertainment. Perv.
__________________
Let's go Mavs!
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09-24-2009, 11:12 AM
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#3261
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
I am sike's very own entertainment Perv.
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I guess in this economy, you can't be picky with your job...
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
Last edited by DirkFTW; 09-24-2009 at 11:13 AM.
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09-24-2009, 04:45 PM
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#3262
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Golden Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 1,970
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
I guess in this economy, you can still do the picky picky with your bottom...
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I am not sure what that means... but I think I disapprove.
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09-24-2009, 11:03 PM
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#3263
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcsluggo
I am not sure what 'hetero' means... but I think I disapprove.
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It's people like you that turned the Navy into a floating joke!
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
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09-26-2009, 04:54 PM
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#3264
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Deutschland
Posts: 7,885
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I spy with my little eye, you bunch of homos are heterosexuel
__________________
Last edited by GermanDunk; 09-26-2009 at 04:54 PM.
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09-26-2009, 07:14 PM
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#3265
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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We have no gay people in Russia—there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it. The punishment is seven years locked in prison with other men and there is a three-year waiting list for that.
__________________
Let's go Mavs!
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09-27-2009, 02:14 PM
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#3266
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
We have no gay people in Russia—there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it. The punishment is seven years locked in prison with other men and there is a three-year waiting list for that, but a blog said they'd make an exception for me.
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Don't believe everything you read on the internet... that's how World War I got started.
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
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10-06-2009, 12:39 AM
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#3267
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
Sorry I've been out guys... I had to lecture my witch doctors about not looking ahead and taking the voodoodooing one week at a time.
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I KNEW IT!!!!!
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
Last edited by DirkFTW; 10-06-2009 at 12:40 AM.
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10-06-2009, 09:33 AM
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#3268
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
I think we should all dye the hair on our coin purse's blue in honor of Mavs basketball being back!
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Coin purse?
Not sure I follow.
Last edited by Flacolaco; 10-06-2009 at 09:33 AM.
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10-06-2009, 11:51 AM
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#3269
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
Colostomy bag purse.
I need one. Quite badly.
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IF you indeed carry a purse, which is disturbing, I think there would be better things to put in it than that.
__________________
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10-06-2009, 02:04 PM
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#3270
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
I would so have Bono's baby.
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Not only is that not possible, but it crosses the line from fanatic fandom to downright inappropriateness. Never ends well.... haven't you heard of Crystal Taylor?
__________________
Let's go Mavs!
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10-06-2009, 02:10 PM
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#3271
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
I carry a decoy purse filled with poo to punish purse thieves.
My real purse is hung inside the front of my pants, thanks to the miracle of Cialis.
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What quack gave you that prescription?
Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
Hey, I resent that! I'm not a quack; I merely parrot my client's wishes.
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Oh. Hah hah.
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
Last edited by DirkFTW; 10-06-2009 at 02:15 PM.
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10-06-2009, 04:46 PM
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#3272
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Golden Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 1,970
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
Hey, I resent that! I'm not a quack; And I told you not to wear any pants while you are doing my dishes.
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Oh. Giggle Giggle
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I am going to have to respectfully decline your kind offer to have me over for dinner.
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10-06-2009, 04:59 PM
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#3273
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcsluggo
I am going to have to respectfully decline your kind offer to have me for dinner.
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Are y'all talking as food here....???
__________________
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10-06-2009, 05:26 PM
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#3274
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
I just got back from that Mavs PA tryout. What's with everyone pronouncing Dirk's name as "Novitski"?
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HERETIC!
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
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10-07-2009, 09:35 AM
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#3275
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
My new friend just called me up and told me he wanted me to come over so I could join him as he explores Uranus!
I know, I know that's hard to believe. But he just called me up and said "Hey FTW, could you come over and help me out as I explore Uranus?". I of course said YES!
I can't believe I'll finally be an Astronaut.
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I think you have received mixed signals on what your "friend" is intending to do with you.
__________________
Last edited by u2sarajevo; 10-07-2009 at 09:37 AM.
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10-07-2009, 01:32 PM
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#3276
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
I think I have mixed martial arts potential. I frequently bring my "friends" to the ground and go straight for the family jewels.
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I didn't think it was possible to rainbow-up MMA. Congrats.
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
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10-07-2009, 01:59 PM
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#3277
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
I tasted the rainbow last night.
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I can only hope by that by that you mean you had a bag of skittles.
__________________
Let's go Mavs!
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10-07-2009, 03:17 PM
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#3278
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bernardos70
I only hope tomorrow I can say I bagged a hot and bothered granny.
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Why would you hope for that?
__________________
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10-14-2009, 11:16 AM
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#3279
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,249
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
Hope floats.
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Weirdo.
__________________
Is this ghost ball??
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10-14-2009, 12:29 PM
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#3280
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Golden Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 1,970
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirkFTW
Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
I hope for scrotes.
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Word, bro!
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see ya later
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