04-27-2004, 02:19 PM
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#1
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 5,832
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Bush Country Ketchup
Bush Country Ketchup
CAPITALISM AT ITS BEST: Ketchup for $5.99 a bottle. For the freedom fries, of course. Only in America.
Quote:
www.bushcountryketchup.com
Property of Conservative Condiments, Inc. Philadelphia, Pa
Top Ten Reasons to Buy Bush
Country Ketchup
10. The gourmet recipe is specially formulated for conservative taste buds and
is perfect for your freedom fries and burgers. In fact, it tastes so good, it may
even help win over some converts or awaken dormant conservatives!
9. Bush Country is our country. What better way to show your support for the
President and opposition to John Kerry at summer BBQs than by proudly
using and enjoying Bush Country Ketchup?
8. With its handsome labeling, this bottle will look as great on a bookshelf as it
will on your refrigerator shelf.
7. By using Bush Country instead of a popular store bought ketchup, you
might put a dent in the left-wing coffers of John Kerry and Teresa Heinz.
6. Bush Country Ketchup not only tastes great, it also irritates the hell out of
liberals who support botox-using John Kerry and Teresa "Left-Wing Ketchup
Heiress" Heinz-Kerry
5. Heinz Corporation claims to be a 'non-partisan' ketchup. We strongly
disavow any such claims. We proudly are a 100% partisan condiment.
4. With a purchase of Bush Country Ketchup, you won't just be showing your
support for the President. You'll also show your support for everything we
believe in: capitalism, the competitive marketplace, small business and the
entrepreneur.
3. By supporting Bush Country in 2004, we will be able to ''relish" in four more
years of W and leave the Democrats in a pickle.
2. Unlike John Kerry's multiple contradictory positions on NAFTA, Iraq, taxes,
defense, foreign policy and marriage, every bottle of Bush Country Ketchup is
consistently good.
1. Who knows, in a few years, it might be worth something on eBay.
Don't Let Kerry
Ketchup To Dubya
Buy Bush Country Today!
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__________________
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell. – Thomas Fuller
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