The Bradley Lever

[MFFL41]

Whoever is pro-Bradley, I suggest you don't read. If you think Bradley is funny read on!


Conan O’Brien’s Walker Texas Ranger Lever has reached cult status proportions. For those who must get up early in the morning to attend a ‘job’ and have not seen this feature, Conan pulls a magical lever that shows hilarious highlights of Chuck Norris’ Walker Texas Ranger. The series was one of the worst in television history, despite being on the air from 1993 until 2001.

Conan has a new lever surprise for this Friday’s episode that I will exclusively reveal in advance to my rabid readers.

Beside the Walker Lever will be a BYU colored Shawn Bradley Lever. The center for the Dallas Mavericks, who recently by a jury of his ‘peers,’ was simultaneously named the most loathed player in the NBA.

I was given a preview of the first feature and here are a few highlights…

At the Summit in Houston, Shawn Bradley was posting up “The Wizard” Walt Williams and decided to give him a firm little elbow to the head. Williams, as if anticipating a dirty play from Bradley, immediately cold cocked him in the mouth, drawing blood from a single blow.

Bradley made no attempt to fight back, standing and staring at Williams with his hands on his hip and devil smirk on his bloody face that he let drip.

Next was a clip from this season when the Mavericks visited the Knicks and Shawn Bradley battled Nazr Mohammed. During the Mavericks rout of the Knicks, the two centers became entangled on several occasions. Mohammed, perhaps given advance warning by “The Wizard” had a very short fuse with Bradley, wanting so badly to throw him to the floor each time down the court.

The next clip lasted just five seconds, as it showed Bradley gesturing his arms towards a referee in disgust that he was called for a foul and it stopped abruptly.

Conan then pretended to begin the rest of the show, but when the audience groaned in disappointment, he looked coy at the Bradley lever and decided to give one more.

This one dates back to Reunion Arena and when Gilbert Arenas was still with the Golden State Warriors.

Bradley decided the little guard from the University of Arizona was finally someone he could ‘dominant male.’ After Bradley, who weighs in at 280 pounds and is 7-6 got tangled up with Arenas, who weighs only 190 pounds and is 6-3, Arenas mouthed off to Bradley who decided to tower above the guard.

Arenas didn’t stand there and be intimidated the veteran player over a foot taller than him. He decided a pile driver was in order, bending down and lifting Bradley up and off the ground by the legs and then slammed into the hardwood of the Dallas floor.

Bradley was shocked and was unable to retaliate as his Dallas cronies grabbed Arenas.

Conan said that each time they play now, Bradley attempts to dunk over the All-Star, but so far he has been rejected each and every time…A preview of the next clips???

The clips that were described are real, but so far Conan O’Brien has not decided to build the ‘Bradley Lever.’

This comedic article was brought to you by PlantingThought.org. Planting Thought was created with the purpose of "Stimulating Family and Environmental Ethics," which is no joking matter. To the dismay of my unofficial fan club in Skokie, Illinois and the semi-official one in London, Ontario, there are limits to my comedy, there are some things that I deem to be improper to joke about.

[funkadelik]

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[mmmfast]

nice

[bernardos70]

Wow, that video is what pisses me off about Bradley sometimes. Granted that was a few years ago, but why can't this man go for more dunks? He can't finish with that half-assed layup he has, but that's all he uses. In other news, welcome back, Damp!