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Old 11-18-2010, 06:46 PM   #3361
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OMG!!..1 down now onto the other 83 congressional pages!!!
I hope I don't understand this...
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Old 11-19-2010, 09:42 AM   #3362
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Human beings sometimes have sexual relations.
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I don't understand this...
you need to broaden your horizons.
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Old 11-19-2010, 01:14 PM   #3363
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I recently broadened my horizons - have you guys ever heard of goatse?
Is that like an escape goat or something?
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Old 11-19-2010, 04:17 PM   #3364
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Well I am feeling sheepish.
Is that like an escape goat fetish?
This has taken a turn for the worse.
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Old 11-21-2010, 05:25 PM   #3365
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This herpes has taken a turn for the worse.
some things should stay between you, your dr, and underdog.
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Old 11-21-2010, 05:49 PM   #3366
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remember that youtube video that featured my mom, her dr, and underdog? i watch it every night when i go to bed.
Glad to be of service...
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Old 11-21-2010, 10:20 PM   #3367
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I am the dictionary definition of a goober.
it is what it is. Some levels of "fail" are so low that you can actually be proud of your achievement.
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Old 11-22-2010, 01:08 PM   #3368
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I hear I should be proud of my achievement in training the TSA, but all I see are half-assed probes that don't even use the equipment I developed. Get your elbows dirty, you pansies!!!!
I'm staying home for Thanksgiving and Christmas now.
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Old 11-22-2010, 02:15 PM   #3369
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I'm staying home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, now that my tripple-ripple-plug with vibrating insert has arrived!
uhm.... enjoy yourself.
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Old 11-22-2010, 04:53 PM   #3370
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uhm.... enjoy myself.
that barely makes sense.
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Old 11-23-2010, 09:07 AM   #3371
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uhm.... enjoy myself.
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that barely seems possible, without MY help
thanks for the kind offer... i think i will manage
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Old 11-23-2010, 03:24 PM   #3372
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thanks for the kind offer... i think i will manage up on my business.
Flaco told me you have quite the work ethic....I respect that.
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Old 11-23-2010, 03:49 PM   #3373
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i think i will manage
Flaco told me you have quite the work ethic....I respect that in working girls.
The internet is generally bad at conveying tone... but this sounds creepy regardless.
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Old 11-23-2010, 03:51 PM   #3374
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The internet is generally bad at conveying tone... but this sounds creepy regardless. I LOVE creepy!
Its those last 3 words that made it strange.
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Old 11-23-2010, 04:39 PM   #3375
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Its those last 3 inches that made it strange.
I hate to take this out of context but you're not giving us much to work with.
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Old 11-23-2010, 04:46 PM   #3376
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Please don't take this out of context, but you've gotta shake it hard if you want me to work with it.
is this a "shake weight" type of thing? I'm not sure I even understand the comment to take it out of context.
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Old 11-24-2010, 02:00 PM   #3377
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It's time to give thanks for crash landing on a planet with such diverse flora and orifices.
I think you meant to say fauna...
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Old 11-24-2010, 02:13 PM   #3378
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I think you meant to say futurama...
I am a fan.
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Old 11-24-2010, 04:36 PM   #3379
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I think you meant to say pyronecrobestiality...
I am a HUGE fan.
I'm pretty sure that's as illegal as it is dangerous...
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Old 11-24-2010, 06:04 PM   #3380
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I'm pretty sure that I was once a pretty princess..and by "pretty" I mean "slutty" and by "princess" I mean "street walker"
"Once"???
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Old 11-29-2010, 06:48 PM   #3381
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I'm once, twice, three times a lady!!!
I don't think that's how the song goes...
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Old 11-29-2010, 07:07 PM   #3382
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I don't think that's how the shlong goes...
keep your deformities between you and flac!!
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Old 11-30-2010, 10:07 AM   #3383
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keep your deflowering between you and flac!!
I know you thought he was keeping himself for you.. but try to let go and be happy for them.
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Old 11-30-2010, 05:23 PM   #3384
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I know you thought he was keeping himself for yoohoo...
that isn't even a complete thought...and why would he keep himself for a drink?
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Old 11-30-2010, 05:40 PM   #3385
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why would mcsluggo sell himself for a drink?
Well, there's a chance the man/woman was smoking... or he's a raging alcoholic.
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Old 11-30-2010, 10:08 PM   #3386
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Well, there's a chance the man was smoking a woman.
but what are "chances" of that?!
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Old 12-01-2010, 01:05 PM   #3387
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What are the "chances" the "mavericks" can get "home" court advantage?
I don't think you understand how to use quotes. Or sarcasm.
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Old 12-01-2010, 02:02 PM   #3388
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Once more, into my breach!
I don't think you understand how to use quotes. Or condoms.
On second thought, I won't be joining your literary club.
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Old 12-01-2010, 07:03 PM   #3389
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On second thought, I won't be beating my wife with club.
I don't know what this means...I guess I'm happy for her?
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Old 12-01-2010, 11:47 PM   #3390
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I don't know what this means...I guess I'm gaping for him?
wat
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Old 12-02-2010, 09:10 AM   #3391
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wataburger!
lurn too spel!
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Old 12-02-2010, 02:57 PM   #3392
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Someone just sold me a Dong-a Ilbo on eBay! Taking the rest of the day off to be by myself!
Hate to disappoint, but it's a Korean newspaper.
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Old 12-02-2010, 04:09 PM   #3393
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You know what's disappointing? Koreans.
We don't need your racist commentary here, sir.
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Old 12-03-2010, 11:52 AM   #3394
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You have no power here, sir!
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*Removes trenchcoat*
AHHH!
What is this, Gaylords of the Rings?
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Old 12-03-2010, 02:02 PM   #3395
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I've decided to name my daughter "Gaylord Focker"...cuz I want her to be a nurse.
I can't help but think there was a better way to go...
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ok, we've talked about the problem of evil, and the extent of the atonement's application, but my real question to you is, "Could Jesus dunk?"
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Old 12-03-2010, 05:03 PM   #3396
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If i stand here long enough, the pee all runs down my trowser leg and is gone. Gravity is cool!
I can't help but think there was a better way to go...
for once we agree with each other.
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Old 12-03-2010, 05:16 PM   #3397
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for once we agree with killing puppies.
what's this 'we' business, Vick?
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Is this ghost ball??
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Old 12-06-2010, 10:04 AM   #3398
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I'm a purple flying squirrel!
This explains so much...I didn't know Dirk had a following among the Flying Squirrel species. but it makes sense.
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ok, we've talked about the problem of evil, and the extent of the atonement's application, but my real question to you is, "Could Jesus dunk?"
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Old 12-22-2010, 12:45 PM   #3399
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This explains so much...it is the most i have learned since coming to probe your species. it all now makes sense...... now bend over.
nanoo nanoo?
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Old 12-23-2010, 09:19 AM   #3400
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Janet Nanoo?
NO! For the fifth time, its "Janet Reno"!! But I still don't think you should be so determined to date her... I mean:

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