The Cussing Thread - Page 82 - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

sike · 07-30-2009, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

Call me Seymour

I sense a butt joke is nigh...

DirkFTW · 07-31-2009, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

I sense a butt is nigh...

That is quite a disturbing superpower you have...

Flacolaco · 08-24-2009, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

I will give you....13 dollars...and...let's see what I have in my pocket here....a handful of flavored condoms if you'll start posting in this thread again.

Uhhh...I don't know...

DirkFTW · 08-24-2009, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Uhhh...I don't know why but when I was at the pool, people kept saying "Looks like someone's flossing!"

You may need a looser pair of swim trunks.

bernardos70 · 08-24-2009, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

You may need to lose your swim trunks so I can see your pair.

Getting a wee bit explicit for these family fora, aren't we?

DirkFTW · 08-24-2009, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

Anyone ever get a wee bit explicit with the family flora?

No, I have never spoken to any plants, let alone in a manner of full disclosure.

mcsluggo · 08-24-2009, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

Everyone that has ever spoken to me has compared the experience to interacting with a potted plant.

what does that mean?

you need to work on socializing skills.

Flacolaco · 08-24-2009, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

you need to work on fellatio skills.

His errr...."inadequacies" aside, we don't need to know about it.

mcsluggo · 08-25-2009, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

His errr...."inadequacies" aside, what a PERFECT slab of manmeat!

grill at 350 degrees for 14 minutes, don't forget to baste.

Underdog · 08-25-2009, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

you'll want to cook your crystal meth at 350 degrees for 14 minutes, don't forget to baste.

I always figured there was something a little off about you...

DirkFTW · 08-25-2009, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underdog

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

I prefer mutton.

I always figured there was something a little off about ewe... haha! Get it?

As punishment for this gross violation of the natural order of humor, you are hereby commanded to give up Felix Jones. I'm sorry, but it's the law.

Flacolaco · 09-14-2009, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

Flaco deflated my football wiener.

That sounds really bad. I think what you meant to say, is that my fantasy team is destroying yours.

mcsluggo · 09-14-2009, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

This sounds really bad..... but I still have to say it, my fantasy is to personally destroy your anus.

uh... wow. just keep your thoughts to yourself from here on out, ok?

DirkFTW · 09-14-2009, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

This sounds really bad..... but I still have to say it, my fantasy is to personally destroy Uranus.

uh... wow. I think you succeeded because I can't sit down today.

That went from evil to creepy in a hurry.

Flacolaco · 09-18-2009, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

This message board is deader than that hamster that crawled into my anoose.

I think you misspelled that last word. You sicko.

bernardos70 · 09-19-2009, 12:57 PM

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Originally Posted by Flacolaco

I think you misplaced my hamster*. You sicko.

*=peenus

Why did you have to write it in such tiny letters?

mcsluggo · 09-21-2009, 03:56 PM

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Originally Posted by bernardos70

Can you read what i have written on my scrotum in tiny letters?

here... come closer... it will make it easier.....

No thank you. I am actually just as happy NOT knowing what that says.

DirkFTW · 09-22-2009, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

Can you read?? That says "LADIES RESTROOM"

No thank you. I am actually just as happy NOT knowing what that says.

I don't think that'll hold up in court.

sike · 09-24-2009, 12:31 AM

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Originally Posted by DirkFTW

I don't think that'll hold up my pants.

please be talking about a belt.

bernardos70 · 09-24-2009, 01:00 AM

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Originally Posted by sike

please be spaking me with a belt.

If you didn't get disciplined like that when you were a kid, I don't think that'll serve much purpose now other than for your own entertainment. Perv.

DirkFTW · 09-24-2009, 11:12 AM

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Originally Posted by bernardos70

I am sike's very own entertainment Perv.

I guess in this economy, you can't be picky with your job...

mcsluggo · 09-24-2009, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

I guess in this economy, you can still do the picky picky with your bottom...

I am not sure what that means... but I think I disapprove.

DirkFTW · 09-24-2009, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

I am not sure what 'hetero' means... but I think I disapprove.

It's people like you that turned the Navy into a floating joke!

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

GermanDunk · 09-26-2009, 04:54 PM

I spy with my little eye, you bunch of homos are heterosexuel

bernardos70 · 09-26-2009, 07:14 PM

We have no gay people in Russia—there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it. The punishment is seven years locked in prison with other men and there is a three-year waiting list for that.

DirkFTW · 09-27-2009, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

We have no gay people in Russia—there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it. The punishment is seven years locked in prison with other men and there is a three-year waiting list for that, but a blog said they'd make an exception for me.

Don't believe everything you read on the internet... that's how World War I got started.

DirkFTW · 10-06-2009, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

Sorry I've been out guys... I had to lecture my witch doctors about not looking ahead and taking the voodoodooing one week at a time.

I KNEW IT!!!!!

Flacolaco · 10-06-2009, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

I think we should all dye the hair on our coin purse's blue in honor of Mavs basketball being back!

Coin purse?

Not sure I follow.

u2sarajevo · 10-06-2009, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Colostomy bag purse.

I need one. Quite badly.

IF you indeed carry a purse, which is disturbing, I think there would be better things to put in it than that.

bernardos70 · 10-06-2009, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

I would so have Bono's baby.

Not only is that not possible, but it crosses the line from fanatic fandom to downright inappropriateness. Never ends well.... haven't you heard of Crystal Taylor?

DirkFTW · 10-06-2009, 02:10 PM

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Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

I carry a decoy purse filled with poo to punish purse thieves.

My real purse is hung inside the front of my pants, thanks to the miracle of Cialis.

What quack gave you that prescription?

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

Hey, I resent that! I'm not a quack; I merely parrot my client's wishes.

Oh. Hah hah.

mcsluggo · 10-06-2009, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

Hey, I resent that! I'm not a quack; And I told you not to wear any pants while you are doing my dishes.

Oh. Giggle Giggle

I am going to have to respectfully decline your kind offer to have me over for dinner.

u2sarajevo · 10-06-2009, 04:59 PM

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Originally Posted by mcsluggo

I am going to have to respectfully decline your kind offer to have me for dinner.

Are y'all talking as food here....???

DirkFTW · 10-06-2009, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

I just got back from that Mavs PA tryout. What's with everyone pronouncing Dirk's name as "Novitski"?

HERETIC!

u2sarajevo · 10-07-2009, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

My new friend just called me up and told me he wanted me to come over so I could join him as he explores Uranus!

I know, I know that's hard to believe. But he just called me up and said "Hey FTW, could you come over and help me out as I explore Uranus?". I of course said YES!

I can't believe I'll finally be an Astronaut.

I think you have received mixed signals on what your "friend" is intending to do with you.

DirkFTW · 10-07-2009, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

I think I have mixed martial arts potential. I frequently bring my "friends" to the ground and go straight for the family jewels.

I didn't think it was possible to rainbow-up MMA. Congrats.

bernardos70 · 10-07-2009, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

I tasted the rainbow last night.

I can only hope by that by that you mean you had a bag of skittles.

u2sarajevo · 10-07-2009, 03:17 PM

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Originally Posted by bernardos70

I only hope tomorrow I can say I bagged a hot and bothered granny.

Why would you hope for that?

DirkFTW · 10-14-2009, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

Hope floats.

Weirdo.

mcsluggo · 10-14-2009, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

I hope for scrotes.

Word, bro!

see ya later