Bulls version of maniaacs

[Mandyahl]

Quick Hits

Guys as Bulls cheerleaders? Fat chance

August 28, 2003

BY ELLIOTT HARRIS SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST

The Bulls have big plans for big fans.

With the emphasis on big fans.

The team is looking for men older than 21 to entertain United Center crowds at its games.

Rather than the male equivalent of the Luvabulls, the new squad of 12 to 15 entertainers sounds like it's going to be more the Chubabulls or Blubabulls.

"The ideal candidate for the to-be-named team is a man who enjoys being the life of the party, proudly displays a wacky sense of humor and rarely, if ever, visits the health club,'' the Bulls' press release states. "If you've ever owned the nickname 'Tiny,' 'Moose,' 'Tubby,' 'Lumpy' or 'Bubba,' this team is for you. If you show your loyalty by painting your face and/or chest, using your shirt as a makeshift rally towel, shaving a logo into your head or starting lively chants in the stands, you are the perfect man for the job.''

Applications are available at the United Center, online at bulls.com or by mailing a self-addressed, stamped envelope to C.C. Company of Illinois Inc., Attn: Big Bulls Fans, P.O. Box 4712, Wheaton, IL 60189-4712.

Be prepared to answer whether you have been accused of having "plumber's butt,'' have worn women's clothing in public, can do stunts with the rolls in your stomach, consider Homer Simpson your idol, can touch your toes, can see your toes and can recite every Chris Farley line in "Tommy Boy,'' among other personal information.

The application deadline is Sept. 17 with an audition scheduled for 6-9 p.m. Sept. 18 at the United Center.

Those who fail to make the team no doubt will be heavily disappointed.

With the emphasis on heavily.

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[JamisonJigga]

What happened to the Bulls of the 90's? . . . I rest my case.

[MavsFanatik33]

BAD publicity stunt. I got a publicity stunt for Chicago, start winning!