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Old 03-24-2009, 04:10 PM   #3121
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F-ing nannies were spying on me to report me to CPS!!!! I FIRED THEIR BEHINDS SO FAST!
Octo-mom?
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Old 03-26-2009, 10:08 AM   #3122
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The police just called, and I am so glad to hear that my wife and children are fine!
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcont...p.37660e5.html
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Old 03-26-2009, 03:23 PM   #3123
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The Viagra bots are back.
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Old 03-26-2009, 03:51 PM   #3124
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The Viagra Doc gave me is making the pimple on my back get really hard. I don't understand why.
Are you certain that is a pimple?
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Old 03-27-2009, 09:47 AM   #3125
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Hey, I'm gonna go see if that dude at the corner is hiring.
Are you certain that is a pimp?
BURN!
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Old 03-27-2009, 09:50 AM   #3126
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Is this BURNING SENSATION NORMAL?
WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?
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Old 03-27-2009, 10:04 AM   #3127
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SO, OCTOMOM, THIS IS HOW QUIET THE NURSERY GETS WHEN ALL YOUR KIDS ARE FINALLY ASLEEP?
That's cold... even for the paparazzi.
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Old 04-01-2009, 09:41 AM   #3128
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I've got a really tough stretch of work for the next few days... I'm really looking forward to coming back to some hilarious posts from everyone in this thread! It's what will keep me going!
You guys suck.
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Old 04-01-2009, 12:18 PM   #3129
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Do you guys suck?
That is a negative, here. I am sure you will have much better luck with Sike, U2 and Flacco, though....
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Old 04-01-2009, 12:58 PM   #3130
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My test came back negative, although it was positive for every other STD known to man. I am sure you will have much better luck with Sike, U2 and Flacco, though....
I SAID I NEED SOME AID.
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Old 04-01-2009, 02:56 PM   #3131
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I SAID I NEED TO GET PAID FOR ALL THE SUCTION WORK I DO.
Well, I think that depends on whether you did it outside of you "work" hours....
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Old 04-02-2009, 04:20 PM   #3132
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Vroomvroom, party starter!
I know you've been in Sweden for a while, but you may want to refrain from saying that in public.
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Old 04-03-2009, 05:18 PM   #3133
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I am reminded of the time I went to Sweden for a while, and on the way out of the brothel I was arrested for being drunk in public.
Some aspects of one's life should just be kept private....
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Old 04-03-2009, 07:56 PM   #3134
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Some aspects of my life, like Bernardos70 and I are to be kept private.
Wait who's mom?
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Old 04-08-2009, 01:41 PM   #3135
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To complete this mission, we'll all need to be in disguises. Since time is short, we'll keep the roles fairly close to real life. DirkFTW and I will be disguised as wealthy athletes and Baller will be disguised as an unstable single mother of 12 who has really let herself slide.
Wait who's the mom?
You are. This is a matter of national security, so try to keep up!
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Old 04-13-2009, 09:49 AM   #3136
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This is a matter of national security, so try to keep IT up!

Perhaps a visit to Viagra-land?
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:15 AM   #3137
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Default Yes, I had this planned out over the weekend and was waiting for someone to post
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I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.
/thread
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Old 05-08-2009, 01:54 PM   #3138
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cursing is not allowed on this site.

but CUSSING...thats another matter.
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:07 PM   #3139
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cursing is not allowed on this site.

but sodomy...thats another matter.
Well...I suppose it is, yeah.
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:17 PM   #3140
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Well...I needlessly insert suppositories all the time, yeah. I is doing that.
"I is"? Honestly? I think you could use a return to grade school.
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:22 PM   #3141
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I think I could use a return to grade school.


For the chicks.

Creepy
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:31 PM   #3142
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cursing is not allowed on this site.

but sodomy...thats another matter.
Damn right it is, yeah!
will you get a room, please. (far away)
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:07 PM   #3143
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I like pie.
was she a leggy blond?
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:21 PM   #3144
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was she a leggy dude?
That sentence confuses me.
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Old 05-08-2009, 04:04 PM   #3145
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was she a leggy dude?
That sentence confuses me.

because, you know... i think i SHOULD be repulsed... yet somehow i am hot and tingly instead....?
tingly?
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Old 05-08-2009, 05:00 PM   #3146
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tingly cream anybody?
Thanks, but no thanks.
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Old 05-11-2009, 08:50 AM   #3147
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tingly cream anybody?

Thanks!!!
hey... i didn't say that! wtf? I am SHOCKED and APPALLED.
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Old 05-11-2009, 09:23 AM   #3148
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hey... i think i have a new defense for when i'm on trial this week: i raised my hands up before the act of shooting so no harm no foul!
Now, you're just being silly.
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Old 05-11-2009, 11:24 AM   #3149
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I stabbed a hooker in the neck yesterday. A cop was standing right there watching me do it. I asked him "Aren't you going to arrest me?" He said "I didn't feel you stabbed her hard enough in the context of the situation". Isn't murder a murder no matter what?

Anyway, then the dead hooker hit a 3 pointer.
Cop must have been an ex-NBA ref.
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Old 05-11-2009, 11:59 AM   #3150
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I'm starting a new group.... Charter member in fact of FFFL (Fluffy Fan For Life). Please join me in what will no doubt be a huge movement.
no doubt
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Old 05-11-2009, 12:02 PM   #3151
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no doubt. No one knows more about huge movements than I do. Have a Hot Carl!
What is the matter with you?
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Old 05-11-2009, 01:12 PM   #3152
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Whatsa matta witha you, eh Luigi? You noa like mya swimsuit, eh?
1. It's not Halloween. 2. Mixing Borat and Mario does not average to PG-13.
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Old 05-12-2009, 01:25 PM   #3153
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1. I have a little boy toy and I like to call him PG-13 when I play with him. You know, just to make things hotter. Yowsa!
I'm not sure I understand what you are talking about. SECURITY! Take this guy off the ship!
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Old 05-12-2009, 04:18 PM   #3154
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SECURITY! Take this guy's clothes off! Slowly.
Yea, I won't ever be visiting you at work.
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Old 05-13-2009, 02:01 AM   #3155
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Yea, I love it when you do that with your tongue granny.

Homestead fetish?
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Old 05-14-2009, 08:59 AM   #3156
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I have a Hot Pocket fetish.
strange...but I'm not judging.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:23 AM   #3157
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my boyfriend is in a wet T-shirt contest tonight...but I'm not judging.
I'm sure that is by design so you don't show favoritism.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:28 AM   #3158
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I'm sure that is by design so you don't show favoritism...but don't worry, I will.
you will what?
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Old 05-14-2009, 10:08 AM   #3159
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I said what what? In the butt!
Oooooooook Butters......
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Old 05-14-2009, 01:02 PM   #3160
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Excuse me, it just got a little warm in here... *unzip*
Oh man, get out of here! Is that real?
Whoa... guys. If you're trying to reenact that scene from "Keeping the Faith," it was a jacket that was unzipped.
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