The Cussing Thread - Page 83 - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

DirkFTW · 10-19-2009, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

I've got the greatest pickup line: "You can't say Cialis without 'See ya Liz!' Awwwwright..."

Now I just need to meet an Elizabeth.

Good luck with that.

u2sarajevo · 10-19-2009, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

Wish me good luck with my herpes.

Why? What exactly is happening with it?

Flacolaco · 10-19-2009, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

What exactly is happening with my shorts here?

If they stay that way for 4 hours, you might want to call a doctor.

DirkFTW · 10-20-2009, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

If they stay that way for 4 hours, you might want to come on over. Trust me, I'm a doctor.

In the commercials that line sounds cool, but on the internet, everyone's gaydar is going off.

bernardos70 · 10-22-2009, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

The gaydar I bought from those commercials has a weird glitch that makes it go off when I get near a mirror.

I didn't know such thing existed, but I think, and this is just a guess, that it's functioning properly.

DirkFTW · 10-23-2009, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

I didn't know such an organ existed, but I think, and this is just a guess, that it's functioning properly.

I bet that stunned your urologist!

(you all deserve a softball on Friday)

Flacolaco · 10-23-2009, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

I deserve some nice balls on Friday.

Like...tennis balls, or...?

u2sarajevo · 10-23-2009, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Like...my balls, or sikes...? Don't go making me jealous.

Are we talking about the type you use when playing sports? Like basketballs or footballs?

bernardos70 · 10-23-2009, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Do you use tennis balls, squash balls, or raquetballs?

I'm talking more like basketballs and footballs and stuff like that. At this point, only those do the job for me, how about you?

I want so badly to believe that this conversation is about sports.....

DirkFTW · 10-23-2009, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

This morning, I carried a cup of coffee in each hand and six donuts to my coworkers... who rudely informed me that they had suddenly lost their appetite.

I want so badly to believe that this conversation is somehow metaphorically about your sports pants.....

I don't think even God can salvage it, bernardos.

bernardos70 · 10-23-2009, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

For the love of God, please wear these "Macho Man" Randy Savage tights I bought, bernardos.

If I catch your drift, I think you bought the wrong macho man's outfit. But that's neither here nor there, you got the wrong person to fulfill you fantasies. I'm in a relationship with a woman!

DirkFTW · 10-26-2009, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

Last night, I was impressed with how strong Miles Austin is from the waist down!

Wait, the game was in the afternoon...

bernardos70 · 10-26-2009, 05:36 PM

I have DVR

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

I Loooooooooooove DVDA.

I had to look up what this sexual vernacular meant, and I think there are some boundaries you shouldn't ever cross, even in this thread......

DirkFTW · 10-27-2009, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

I'm looking forward to some Indian Butt Magic tonight!

I don't think Washington meant that kind of 'Wizards.'

Flacolaco · 11-04-2009, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

How about that game last night? I haven't seen that much scoring from one guy since my 'friend' Felipé and I spent that weekend at the beach.

You mean you guys played a lot of basketball...or...what?

DirkFTW · 11-05-2009, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

I was so excited about the Mavs that I got thrown out of the game yesterday for flashing JJB my jewels just before his free throws at the end of the game! WOOO! (what happened afterwards?)

That explains so much on so many fronts.

u2sarajevo · 11-05-2009, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

That explains so much Flaco. I like to show my jewels to men only on so many occasions it's not even funny. Could I show you my front bottom?

Gordo?

bernardos70 · 11-05-2009, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

Am I gordo?

It involves a very complicated formula that calculates your height and weight. Do you eat a lot of bacon?

u2sarajevo · 11-05-2009, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

It involves a very complicated formula that calculates your length and circumference. Can I get the measurements and calculate it for you?

Die

DirkFTW · 11-05-2009, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

It involves a very complicated formula that calculates your length and circumference. Can I get a tape measure and calculate it for you?

Die. Bring a die.

This is going to be an X-rated sculpture, isn't it?

u2sarajevo · 11-05-2009, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

This is going to be awesome. I just bought an X-rated sculpture on e-bay of some girl called Rosie O'Donnell and some guy called John Candy getting it ON!!!! This is going to be great, isn't it?

Gross. You probably should have done research before making that purchase.

DirkFTW · 11-11-2009, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

Gross. I probably should have done research before buying that sperm whale cake off ebay.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's never a good idea to buy food on eBay.

OzMavs · 11-13-2009, 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

I'm going to sell my limbs on eBay.

Start with your kidney. It's less invasive and there's already a market.

Flacolaco · 11-17-2009, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzMavs

Start the bidding for my 'garbage shoot'. There's already a market.

What do you mean, "a market"?

bernardos70 · 11-17-2009, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

What do you mean, "a vagina"?

This is a talk you should've had with your parents in high school at the very latest.

Flacolaco · 11-17-2009, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

This is a love you should've had with your parents in high school at the very latest.

What kind of weird family dynamic did you have growing up?

sike · 11-18-2009, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

What kind of weird family dynamic did I have growing up?

why are you asking me?

u2sarajevo · 11-18-2009, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

why are you asking me to marry you Flaco? We are both married!

Yeah really... why Flaco?

DirkFTW · 11-18-2009, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

Why am I attracted to Flaco???

Yeah really... why Flaco? *winkwink*

I see hope springs eternal.

Flacolaco · 11-18-2009, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

I see my wang springs eternal.

You might want to see a doctor.

bernardos70 · 11-19-2009, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Be careful with Jaggermeister. I drank too much of it last night, and it made my butthole hurt so bad this morning.

That wasn't the Jaggermeister.....

DirkFTW · 11-19-2009, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bernardos70

That wasn't Mick Jagger??!?! Had my taste buds fooled!

Gross!

u2sarajevo · 11-19-2009, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

Come on! Grow bigger!

Talking to one of your kids?

DirkFTW · 11-24-2009, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

I'm fully oiled up for another Mavs game!

Yea most of us... wait, what??

Flacolaco · 11-24-2009, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

I stuffed your moms turkey with my giblets! Hey-Oh!!!

Did you forget to take your medication today?

u2sarajevo · 11-24-2009, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Please don't forget to take your Viagra today!!!!!

Are you talking to sike?

mcsluggo · 11-25-2009, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Please don't forget to take your Viagra today!!!!!

Whatever on earth are you talking about......?

psyche!!! I'll be ready, honey

Hey... I think its time for me to go.

DirkFTW · 11-25-2009, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

Hey... I think its time for me to go weewee.

Er, looks like I'm a little late again. ahhhhhhhhh....

Yea, maybe you should wear black pants if that's gonna keep happening.

Flacolaco · 12-18-2009, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by cryptonight

boo hoo!

o rly?

That was weird.

DirkFTW · 12-20-2009, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

That's weird. The football game suddenly ended while the Saints were still down.

It's called 'losing.' Waddup?

(Sadly, we happen to know a lot about that.)