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Old 06-02-2003, 07:19 AM   #1
OzMavs
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Default A Message to God from a dog
One of my friends sent me this, it is funny. They got it off the "Endangered Dog Breeds Assoc. of Australia" .

Dear God:
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God:
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch, or is it going to be the same old story?

Dear God:
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray & the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog?
How often do you see a cougar riding around, we dogs love a nice ride, would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle", to the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest & no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, & frisbee flight paths, what do humans understand?

Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti please.

Dear God:
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God:
Are there mailmen in heaven, if there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God:
Let me just give you a list of just some of the things I must remember, to be a good dog:
1. I will not eat the cats food before they eat it, or after they
throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs etc. just beacause
I like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although
they are tasty, they are not food.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a face towel, neither are Mum & Dads laps.
6. The garbage collecter, is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand, when he reaches in for Mum's
driver's license & registration.
9. I will not play tug -of- war with Dad's underwear, when he is
on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch, is not an acceptable
way to say "hello".
11. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up, when I am lying
under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur, before entering the
house.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside & immediately drag my butt
across the carpet.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room & lick my crotch
when company is over.
16. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him & he
makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And finally, my last question;

Dear God:
When I get to heaven, may I have my testicles back?
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Old 06-02-2003, 02:00 PM   #2
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Default A Message to God from a dog
Ummmmmmmmmmm Ok.
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Old 06-02-2003, 02:09 PM   #3
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Default A Message to God from a dog
<giggle> that was really cute. thanks for the laughs. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]


...just confirming to my coworkers that i'm a little crazy - more unprovoked peels of laughter coming from my space... [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
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Old 06-02-2003, 03:04 PM   #4
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Quote:
little
I need to recheck my dictionaries.
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Old 06-02-2003, 03:06 PM   #5
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Default A Message to God from a dog
Quote:
Originally posted by: mavsfanforever
Ummmmmmmmmmm Ok.
Yes? [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
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Old 06-02-2003, 04:30 PM   #6
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Default A Message to God from a dog
Good one Oz Mavs.
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Old 06-02-2003, 04:52 PM   #7
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That was great. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
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Old 06-02-2003, 10:12 PM   #8
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Default A Message to God from a dog
Quote:
Originally posted by: LRB
Good one Oz Mavs.

You are right again



--- another post padding on top of post padding.
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Old 06-02-2003, 10:23 PM   #9
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Default A Message to God from a dog
it's somethign i could forward to my peeps at wiork, but i think that would be something to be frowned upon and i might do it anyway.

[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
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Old 06-02-2003, 11:17 PM   #10
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Default A Message to God from a dog
Quote:
Originally posted by: Chiwas
Quote:
little
I need to recheck my dictionaries.

Whew! Smiles passed by and didn't notice it. I'm safe now. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
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Old 06-02-2003, 11:20 PM   #11
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Default RE: A Message to God from a dog
you created your own demise, Chiwas!!!!!! i see what you think you hid. [img]i/expressions/devil.gif[/img] don't mess with me now. i have no concience. and i can breathe fire that would make you sorry. just ask around. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-cool.gif[/img]
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Old 06-02-2003, 11:29 PM   #12
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Default A Message to God from a dog
Quote:
Originally posted by: smile_at_me10
you created your own demise, Chiwas!!!!!! i see what you think you hid. [img]i/expressions/devil.gif[/img] don't mess with me now. i have no concience. and i can breathe fire that would make you sorry. just ask around. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-cool.gif[/img]
We could make a barbeque. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
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Old 06-03-2003, 10:52 AM   #13
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Default A Message to God from a dog
Quote:
Originally posted by: Chiwas
Quote:
Originally posted by: smile_at_me10
you created your own demise, Chiwas!!!!!! i see what you think you hid. [img]i/expressions/devil.gif[/img] don't mess with me now. i have no concience. and i can breathe fire that would make you sorry. just ask around. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-cool.gif[/img]
We could make a barbeque. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

I like barbeque.
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Old 06-04-2003, 11:37 AM   #14
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Default RE: A Message to God from a dog
I too like barbeque.
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Old 06-13-2003, 12:17 PM   #15
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Default A Message to God from a dog
yeahhh i don't really like barbeque, but that would be awesome! i look forward to attending that barbeque. hehe.
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Old 06-13-2003, 05:18 PM   #16
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When is the BBQ?
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Old 06-13-2003, 05:29 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by: southern_sweets
When is the BBQ?
and where? i don't wanna miss it...

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