How Many 5 Year Olds...

[aexchange]

Funny post and entertaining question I saw posted somewhere else.

================================================== ========
The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

[aexchange]

i'm going to have to guess 12 or 13 before got demolished.

[bernardos70]

Jeez, I can't picture, that's a difficult question. But I'd like to think way more than 12-13. I could take one out per kick, I'm thinking. At the same time.......... hmmm. Like 20 perhaps?

[Male30Dan]

Shit... Anywhere from 30-50!

I would just run and punch, run and punch, run and punch. If they got close, punch... Its not like more than 10 or so could jump on you at once anyway, much less hurt you as their punches won't affect you much at all. Just dodge and punch. 1 punch knocks a 5 year old O U T! If I couldn't knock out 30-50 5 year olds before they knocked me out, I would be rather disappointed in myself. Just think about it. It isn't like 50 could all jump on you at one time, so a big mosh pit of 10 at a time love tapping you while you knock the shit out of them one at a time wouldn't be THAT hard. Can you honestly say you couldn't knock a 5 year old out with one hard ass punch/kick??? OK then, so are you saying you couldn't withstand 10 5 year olds on you weak punching at a time while you throw haymakers and lunch kicks over and over??? I would be up for an experiment if one could set something up like this!!!



My wife, a Pre-k teacher, might just want in too!

[nashtymavsfan13]

I'd say at least 15-25, 5 year olds can't run very fast and there's plenty of room on a basketball court.

[aexchange]

all it takes is one or two good shots to the groin to put any normal human being out.

[SaltwaterChaffy]

One of the greatest threads in history back at our other board, ae. I had thought about bringing it here, but I didn't think we would get enough participation to make it interesting.

[u2sarajevo]

I'm pretty sure I could take on at least 20. I'm thinking, though, with the adversaries being that big in numbers it could make it quite painful if they truly are into taking me out.

Are they screened for cry babies? Because at that age, generally, they get hurt a little bit and they go into the "I want mommy" phase. If they are doing that I might take on 50 without fear.

[dirno2000]

I think you guys are underestimating the damage to your hands from punching all those skulls hard enough to knock them unconcious.

I'm guessing that the average male couldn't do more than 10 or 15.

[nashtymavsfan13]

Originally Posted by dirno2000

I think you guys are underestimating the damage to your hands from punching all those skulls hard enough to knock them unconcious.

I'm guessing that the average male couldn't do more than 10 or 15.

You can kick too though.

[nashtymavsfan13]

Originally Posted by aexchange

all it takes is one or two good shots to the groin to put any normal human being out.

but you said

- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.

so we'd be fine.

[dirno2000]

Originally Posted by nashtymavsfan13

You can kick too though.

Yea but they'd all be rushing you at the same time and it's harder to kick in confined spaces. Plus you'd be vulnerable when your leg is in the air.

[chumdawg]

Originally Posted by SaltwaterChaffy

One of the greatest threads in history back at our other board, ae. I had thought about bringing it here, but I didn't think we would get enough participation to make it interesting.

I don't read that board anymore (or at least very rarely), but I do recall the genius of that thread.

Me, I find hard to imagine a situation where I could knock even one five-year-old unconscious. But if it's completely hypothetical in that regard as well, I'd have to think that the average male would have to face upwards of twenty before he fared worse than a stalemate. About the only way I could see them knocking you unconscious would be if they got you on the ground and one of them landed his ass on your head with all his weight. Otherwise they might be able to inflict some pain, but I think you'd cry uncle before you went unconscious.

I bet you could handle ten with one arm behind your back. Your most effective weapon would probably not be the punch or kick, but rather a hand placed on the back of the neck and a sharp shove to the ground.

[SaltwaterChaffy]

Originally Posted by chumdawg

Your most effective weapon would probably not be the punch or kick, but rather a hand placed on the back of the neck and a sharp shove to the ground.

Chum,

For someone who said they'd have trouble knocking one unconcious (I'm assuming for pacifist/sympathy reasons) this hardcore brutality is surprising.

[chumdawg]

No, no...just "five-year-old" reasons. Maybe at about twelve or thirteen it starts to be appealing.

[nashtymavsfan13]

Originally Posted by dirno2000

Yea but they'd all be rushing you at the same time and it's harder to kick in confined spaces. Plus you'd be vulnerable when your leg is in the air.

True, but you'd be wearing a cup so you'd be protected.

[dirno2000]

Originally Posted by nashtymavsfan13

True, but you'd be wearing a cup so you'd be protected.

Your crotch is protected but not your knees.

They have to get you to the ground to have a shot. If they're smart (and I assume with the training they are) They'll always have 3 or 4 kids around your legs trying to take out your knees. Trying to kick one of them in the head leaves your plant leg exposed.

[Flacolaco]

can you pick one up and throw it at all the others?

Id probly do something about like this

[nashtymavsfan13]

Originally Posted by dirno2000

Your crotch is protected but not your knees.

They have to get you to the ground to have a shot. If they're smart (and I assume with the training they are) They'll always have 3 or 4 kids around your legs trying to take out your knees. Trying to kick one of them in the head leaves your plant leg exposed.

Yeah that's true. I still think with punching and kicking/kneeing you'd be able to take out 20-25 easily. 5 year olds aren't very strong, plus half of them would be girls so the mentality isn't as strong to hurt you.

[kg_veteran]

What an interesting thread.

I think it would take an awful lot of 5 year olds to render me unconscious. I guess I need to analyze this a bit, but I don't think a 5 year old could strike me hard enough to knock me out.

[dirno2000]

What does a 5-year old weigh, maybe 75 pounds? Say they get you to the ground and they have two on each leg, one on each are and mabye a couple sitting on your torso. That leaves a couple to just pound your head into the ground repeatedly. That'll knock you unconcious...if it doesn't kill you first.

[Drbio]

What a disturbing thread.

[mnmpeanut]

is the floor hard? if so, they can use that against you if they can get you on the ground. doesn't take long for a half dozen motivated 5 year olds to figure out that a handful of hair, a hard floor and your head can make a fairly effective weapon.

i'd still say upwards of 20, maybe even 30, if they weren't organized, 12 to 15 if they had some sort of plan and stuck to it.


edit: looks like dirno and i are on the same page, he just types faster (because he's probably not playing omaha on another screen )

[nashtymavsfan13]

Originally Posted by dirno2000

What does a 5-year old weigh, maybe 75 pounds? Say they get you to the ground and they have two on each leg, one on each are and mabye a couple sitting on your torso. That leaves a couple to just pound your head into the ground repeatedly. That'll knock you unconcious...if it doesn't kill you first.

They'd have to get you down first of all, and they wouldn't be able to hold you down very easily if you were kicking and flailing trying to get up. A typical 5 year old weighs 45-50 so it would take a bunch of them to hold you down. Once they get you down though for good your done, like you said.

[twelli]

I think the combat expert could come up with a strategy that could allow 10 kids to knock you out pretty quick. First you need to split the group in two or three sub-groups that attack from front and back at the same time and hit/kick you where you are at the most vulnerable.

How about this approach? Three kids attack your groin area from the front. At the same time three kids attack the backside of your knees from behind to bring you down. The third group finishes you off by attacking your head, after you have fallen to the ground.

btw. this is a sick idea to start with...

[some-dude]

Just run around giving out non-stop clotheslines....that should work. And if they happen to get you down, I have a hard time believing they could make one unconsious.

[nashtymavsfan13]

Originally Posted by twelli

I think the combat expert could come up with a strategy that could allow 10 kids to knock you out pretty quick. First you need to split the group in two or three sub-groups that attack from front and back at the same time and hit/kick you where you are at the most vulnerable.

How about this approach? Three kids attack your groin area from the front. At the same time three kids attack the backside of your knees from behind to bring you down. The third group finishes you off by attacking your head, after you have fallen to the ground.

btw. this is a sick idea to start with...

Your groin would be protected because of the cup, and yes this is a sick idea but it's all hypothetical.

You made a good point though, if there are 20 or so kids as long as 10 or so keep you busy in from the front 5 or so can take you out in the back of the knees while the other 5 just jump on your head til you're knocked out. I still say between 15-25 depending upon their strategy. If they can take your legs out and jump on top of you you're pretty much done for. But before they can do that I think you could take a bunch of them out, and you could run around til you get tired too taking them out as you go.

[dirno2000]

Another factor for the 15+ crowd to consider...fatigue. Five years old or not, you're not going to knock every one of the out with one punch or one kick. There's nothing more tiring than fighting and even trained prize fighters would be sucking wind after going for a minute straight.

So even if they weren't trained or didn't have a plan and were just coming at you all wild assed you'd be to exhausted to lift your arms about a minute in.

[Flacolaco]

is imagining all this senseless violence against very small children weirding anyone else out?

[Flacolaco]

hey I know....we need to send this to MythBusters

[twelli]

A concerted effort to kick against your ankles from both sides would be another very effective way to bring you down and it's difficult to defend. If you try to knock out the little buggers you have to bend forward which causes you to lose balance more easily. If you kick around they can attack the ankle of the other leg. The kids should kick and run, kick and run...

[Drbio]

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

is imagining all this senseless violence against very small children weirding anyone else out?

see post #22

[Murphy3]

These are 5 year olds... regardless of the 1 day of training, many if not almost all of them will forget their training. Sure, they might not get scared, but they will quickly revert to play fighting like tactics... Many of them will think they're airplanes with machine guns and will attempt to gun you down making the gun fire sounds... others will throw fake grenades.

I'm going to say that I could do some serious damage to 100 or more 5 year olds.... Fake grenades don't hurt all that bad...

[DavidDaMonkey]

I really think this could get out of hand faster than most people would be willing to accept. Enough of the little buggers and they could easily get you to the ground, and then they have home court advantage.

That being said, you could go with the matrix style strategy suggested earlier and just grab one kid by the feet and use him as a weapon.

There's also the psychological aspect. Five year olds would be very susceptible to mind games and you could probably turn some of them against each other.

[kg_veteran]

Originally Posted by Drbio

see post #22

No one is forcing you guys to participate in this thread if it offends your sensibilities. Why don't you head on over to the Political Forum and stare at Saddam's dead corpse together?

[MavKikiNYC]

Originally Posted by aexchange

Funny post and entertaining question I saw posted somewhere else.

================================================== ========
The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

To make it interesting, the kids would also be fed a breakfast of Crispy Creme Glazed Donuts and Super-Frosted Sugar Bombs with chocolate milk (all they could eat) for one week prior to the experiment.

[FINtastic]

So you would have a bunch of overweight kids running out of gas a minute into the battle? That would make it easier.

[nah-vit-ski]

if running ais allowed, i guess about 15

[Drbio]

Originally Posted by kg_veteran

No one is forcing you guys to participate in this thread if it offends your sensibilities. Why don't you head on over to the Political Forum and stare at Saddam's dead corpse together?

Saddam's terminal pictures are soothing....planning on how to best assault a flock of children is disturbing.

[Dirkadirkastan]

Originally Posted by Murphy3

These are 5 year olds... regardless of the 1 day of training, many if not almost all of them will forget their training. Sure, they might not get scared, but they will quickly revert to play fighting like tactics...

FINALLY someone pointed this out!