Pacers/Mavs Tonight

[tlbl]

Mavericks vs Pacers Tonight

by Morlen Wiley

Dallas Sports Daily



The key matchup is Jermaine O'Neal vs. Dirk Nowitzki, though it may not actually happen that way. O'Neal recently returned from his 15-game vaction, granted as a reward for his involvement with the marvelous local fans in Detroit. He's looked fresher than his opponents, who have seemed to all have that "not so fresh" feeling. Even in San Antonio on Thursday, he was almost unstoppable in the loss (other than the losing part). This should be one of the 30 most intriguing matchups of the season for both players. O'Neal said in an interview yesterday that "It's insulting to be covered by a white boy. I'm gonna have to burn him good. He's safe, though. I won't go all KG on him." Hearing the quote, Nowitzki replied that "We'll try to be sensitive to his needs. We don't want to hurt his feelings. Our great fans could really suffer if he gets upset. Maybe someone else can cover him tonight, if that would make him feel more comfortable."


Center Erick Dampier has been noticed by his coach recently, earning praise that Don Nelson only rarely doles out. I was having a few beers with Nelson before the Laker game, and he told me that "That guy, Damp, he'sh a real shweetheart. I love that guy. He undershtaands me. We're great together. We're gonna win soooo many games. We sure are, we are. And when he givesh ush a double-double-double, we think we're a real good team. That'sh 'cause we shcore more points than thoshe other guys, then we win the game and that Cuban guy, he'sh happy with me then. But he'sh not even Cuban, really. *&^%$#@! I need another beer..."


When I asked him about the recent improvement in point guard play, he gave me a sly look. "You don't know me," he said. "I gotta lotta ideash, and you don't know them, either. I shtarted thoshe other guysh just to make him play good, you know.... He'sh been playin' good you know... wooooshhh (Nelson made a jet shape with his hand and made a flying motion with it). He'sh a jet! I'll tell you a little shecret, though. I picked up that other guy and started that rookie jusht to make him mad. He was shtomping around and looking soooo sad. It wash funny. I love doing that. *&^%$#@! I need another beer!"


Assistant Coach Avery Johnson is pleased by the team's recent success. "We're doing better at various positions, and everyone seems to be on the same page now. I'm very happy about the way we've been playing. Coach Nelson has been 'relaxing' more before the game and letting me help out with more of the coaching duties. It really seems to be working for us."


Although the Mavericks haven't beaten Indiana for seven years, they look to be in a better position tonight. Given their recent winning streak, and the absence of Ron Artest, the Mavs should be able to keep the score close, and may not lose by all that much. And if they are losing late in the game, the fans may be able to help them out with a strategically tossed beer cup or two...

[VivaNajera]

[i]

Although the Mavericks haven't beaten Indiana for seven years, they look to be in a better position tonight. ...

Last time I checked the mavs beat the pacers back here in 2002. that was the game raja and artest got into it. you would think these guys would check there information before printing it

[u2sarajevo]

This is not a real article.

It is an attempt at humor.

[G-Man]

And pretty damned funny. My dogpile search turned up nothing on author Morlen Wiley. I'd love to read more of his satire. Any idea where I find it?

I think he could build a career as "drunken Nellie". He'd make a good charater on the ticket, if they ever decide to talk about sports.

[The Miles]

This guy posts these types of articles over at the DallasBasketbal.com MavsNBA Forum all the time.

Just check there.