Testes Strokers of America

[alexamenos]

Anybody else following this nonsense? I'm talking about the full-on hands-in-the-pants, fingers 'round the family jewels groping administered by ham-fisted blue polyester costume wearing morons as a pre-requisite for flying on a plane...for your safety, of course.

A goofy African dude gets onto a plane in Nigeria with firecrackers in his own panties, and because of this our Father Government now feels compelled to view naked scans of random men and every moderately attractive woman that passes through an airport. In the event you're not content to have your genitals ogled and run the admittedly very small risk of getting cancer from the porno-scan machines (the risk of catching cancer from the machine is approximately equal to the risk of being killed by a terrorist), you can opt to be molested by one of these mouth breathers...

....molested like this kid....

So let's say you're about to hop a flight with your attractive girlfriend, or cute 15 year old daughter, and the Trained Sexual Assailants "randomly" select the lovely young lady for a porno-scan and/or for a genital groping (and yes, genital gropings can be performed on anybody, even after the porno-scan)...you might quite reasonably at this point simply turn around and go home (do not pass through security, do not get on your flight)....

...ok, that'll be an $11,000 fine on the young lady for not completing the screening process. Yep, $11,000 is what you now owe the TSA for not submitting to the indignation, for the TSA fears (rightfully) that without significant penalty, people will simply turnaround and go home when threatened by the TSA.

It is in this $11k deterrent that we can see the TSA genital groping procedures for what they are....

Imagine this time that you're a terrorist....You've made all your prayers to Allah and you have a host of virgins waiting for you on the other side. You've stuff your underwear and your asshole with enough C4 to blow up a plane, yourself, and 300 or so people. When a minority wage earning moron tells you he needs to stroke your nuts, you basically have two choices:

a) Say 'ok', and when the moron gets on his knees in front of you, detonate. You'll take out the TSA and dozens of people...not plan 'a' for the mission, but not altogether a bad day and I'm sure your virgins await you;

b) Say 'no thank you'. The TSA will send you a bill, probably to the fake ID and address you used to purchase your ticket in the first place. You'll probably be dead by the time your alter-ID gets the bill, so it's not too big a deal.

Point being, the $11k fine is a deterrent to the innocent citizen trying to avoid the indignation, but not at all to the determined terrorist. These procedures are about gaining submission from citizens, unbridled power-tripping, not about preventing acts of terrorism.

----------------------------------------

Speaking of preventing acts of terrorism....how many bombs has the TSA found in a decade of searching? I think the number is approximately, or perhaps exactly, zero.

How would I, master-terrorist Alexamenos, go about getting past the TSA and their genital gropes and get a bomb on the plane? Easy, I'd get a job working for the TSA. When I'm on testicle stroking duty, I'd signal my co-conspirator to bring it on...boom......so much for the illusion of your security.

This is assuming that for some reason I (master-terrorist Alex) felt the need to get on a plane to do my damage....if we learned nothing else from COD Modern Warfare 2 it's that one needn't get on the plane to cause quite a ruckus.

Anyhoo...We trade our liberty for the illusion (or delusion) of security and we get what we deserve.

[alexamenos]

Teen Sex Advocate...

....molesting for 14 year old girls for your safety.

[kg_veteran]

How do they justify a fine for leaving? Nonsense.

[alexamenos]

Originally Posted by kg_veteran

How do they justify a fine for leaving? Nonsense.

Yeah, this is the straw that broke the proverbial back in my view. This fine is only intimidating to people who are completely innocent.

I'm quite seriously afraid to fly out of fear of what I might do if some moron tries to stick his hand down my shorts.

[Dirkadirkastan]

Whenever I fly, I'm going to stick a note in my fly that says "Congratulations, you found it! You perv."

[alexamenos]

Originally Posted by Dirkadirkastan

Whenever I fly, I'm going to stick a note in my fly that says "Congratulations, you found it! You perv."

Or maybe, "if you're close enough to read this, you must be gay and working for minimum wages!"

[dude1394]

The dude who stripped down to his skin-tight racing pants takes the cake for me. Instead of saying okay, you obviously are not hiding anything, they wanted him to put his clothes BACK ON so they could pat him down and follow their instructions.

Lack of common sense is strong in these ones...

[Underdog]

The average TSA employee has the authority of a police officer but the qualifications of a McDonalds fry cook...

God bless America!

[FINtastic]

You know, if these terrorists really wanted to have their way with a bunch of virgins, it sounds like they should just get a job with the TSA.

[Flacolaco]

Originally Posted by FINtastic

You know, if these terrorists really wanted to have their way with a bunch of virgins, it sounds like they should just get a job with the TSA.

Booooo!

[Flacolaco]

Seriously though...if there's a machine, go through the damned machine. It's a small price to pay for not dying in a fiery explosion. Hell, I'll even work one up for them just before if they want to see it, that's fine. Just don't touch me.

[ribosoma]

Why Is Michael Chertoff So Excited About Full-Body Scanners?

[ribosoma]

Airport body scanners 'could give you cancer'

[Flacolaco]

Originally Posted by ribosoma

Airport body scanners 'could give you cancer'

'"If all 800 million people who use airports every year were screened with X-rays then the very small individual risk multiplied by the large number of screened people might imply a potential public health or societal risk. "The population risk has the potential to be significant."

might....risk....

We're going to need more.

[mcsluggo]

yeah.... I'm having a hard time getting worked up about this one.

Set clear rules, with clear channels of oversight. Follow said rules. I am happy.

[alexamenos]

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

Set clear rules, with clear channels of oversight. Follow said rules. I am happy.

Yeah....that'll make you happy right until someone breaks the rules and starts groping one of your daughters.

[Underdog]

Originally Posted by alexamenos

Yeah....that'll make you happy right until someone breaks the rules and starts groping one of your daughters.

When you put it that way, the idea of working for the TSA starts to sound appealing.

Maybe I should polish up my resume...

[alexamenos]

Vid....

"I'm God, I'm in charge"....and I work for the TSA. Yeah, these guys can be trusted to follow said rules....

[alexamenos]

Originally Posted by Underdog

Maybe I should polish up my resume...

Like you really need to do that to get a job with the TSA.

[Underdog]

Originally Posted by alexamenos

Like you really need to do that to get a job with the TSA.

Well, talking-up my record as a sexual predator can't hurt...

(even though Sike never actually proved anything in court!)

[mcsluggo]

Originally Posted by Underdog

When you put it that way, the idea of working for the TSA starts to sound appealing.

Maybe I should polish up my resume...

my daughters are 5, 7, and 9 years old.....

[mcsluggo]

Originally Posted by alexamenos

Yeah....that'll make you happy right until someone breaks the rules and starts groping one of your daughters.

some oversight is required.



For the most part i think the "we must live in constant fear and at a permanent CODE ORANGE state of readiness" are fear mongering pains in the arse. I just don't see why THIS is what has wadded everyone's undies, given how often that excuse has been invoked to reduce individual rights, and to increase security spending/"security" inerventions globally.

I was in Europe when this happened:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TWA_Flight_800
(I think it was actually "my flight" but 14 or so days after my actual flight)


on the way THERE we had airplane troubles on our way to NYC (on a non-connecting flight) and ended running to the JFK counter, throwing our suitcases, and then sprinting on to the gangplank... total checkin was about 14 seconds, and i waved my wallet with my ID about 12 feet away from the clerk as I sprinted by.

on the way HOME (we flew out of amsterdam on our way back) we were thoroughly frisked by three enthusiastic nineteen year old kristallnachters while 4 others stood around us with machine guns. Oh well. flying is testy stuff. I don't lose sleep over that.

[Underdog]

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

my daughters are 5, 7, and 9 years old.....

That doesn't matter to the TSA - they'll happily oggle and frisk your daughters.

(unless you think the average uneducated minimum wage employee in this country is above that?)

[Flacolaco]

The scanners at DFW don't use radiation, right? They use "radio waves" (it's all just different frequencies along the electromagnetic spectrum). Why can't everyone just get those?

[kg_veteran]

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

some oversight is required.

No one's debating that. Some common sense is also required. That shouldn't be debated, either.

Most of the problems have come from the fact that they are hiring people who aren't that smart and then giving them rigid, nonsensical guidelines to follow in searching people.

Why would the TSA agents force a 4 year old who can't walk without leg braces to walk without leg braces through the scanner? Simple. Their guidelines said that if something sets off the metal detector, you have to take it off and then pass back through the scanner. And they weren't smart enough to come up with a solution when presented with what should have been a relatively minor glitch.

Also, it doesn't help when they act as if anyone who would dare to question them is attempting to blow up a plane.

[Underdog]

[ribosoma]

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

might....risk....

We're going to need more.

Actually, if a person has a slightly compromised immune system, he or she will have difficulty repairing the damage to cells. Sick children, the elderly... this is almost starting to sound like one of our discussions on eugenics. Those who made these rules to further a narrative never have to go through an airport screening process, nor do I think they particularly care one iota about public safety. This is a large step in a direction that I'm not sure most people like to think about. Without consult, the general public are being subjected to what amounts to a strip-search and treated like criminals. There is some pretty sleek psychology behind this. And, contrary to what the PR machine behind this decision has said, those images are, in fact, kept and sent back to the manufacturer and the TSA (and who knows who else).

[alexamenos]

Originally Posted by mcsluggo

on the way HOME (we flew out of amsterdam on our way back) we were thoroughly frisked by three enthusiastic nineteen year old kristallnachters while 4 others stood around us with machine guns. Oh well. flying is testy stuff. I don't lose sleep over that.

I've made multiple flights into and out of a s---hole African nation that was in the midst of civil of war. Yeah, it's testy stuff, I get that, but at no time during these trips into and out of a country that was quite literally at war did I have my crotch grabbed by a mouth breathing goon. I never saw little kids or old ladies getting sexually assaulted by low-rent government morons. Our government is going too far by insane lengths. The extent to which we put up with having our genitals fondled is a measure of how completely useless we are as human beings.

The insanity of all this is that the genital molestations wouldn't have stopped 9-11, the porno-scans probably wouldn't have identified the Panty-Bomber (the panty-bomber was carrying a very low density explosive. The porno-scanners, by design, look right through low density materials). We're submitting to federally sponsored sexual attacks without getting any benefit. It's insane.

The thing about the TSA and it's goonage.....it's all just Security Theatre. It's all about providing the illusion of security while doing nothing substantial to improve the reality of security (see my earlier remarks RE the $11k fine, for example). This has been the case from it's inception and this is obvious upon a moment's reflection.

Take, for example, the much vaunted "No-Fly" list....Does anybody think this accomplished anything? The way it works is a person's name is checked against the N-F-L when they purchase the ticket, and their ID is checked against their boarding pass when they go through security....but the joke is, the ticket they use to get through security need not be the same ticket they purchase or use to board the plane...get it? You purchase a ticket with a stolen credit card and print the boarding pass before you go to the airport, you create a counterfeit boarding pass with your real name (or name as it matches your id) to show to the Walmart Greeter / ID checker, and you use the *real* boarding pass to board the plane. EZ PZ...

Does the TSA know how easy it is to skirt the no-fly list? Yes.

Does every terrorist on earth either know how easy it is to get around this or will they learn in about the first five minutes of planning an attack? Yes

Knowing that the no-fly list is easy to get around, has the TSA altered it's procedures or simply dropped the pretense? No.

We still dutifully show our IDs to the Walmart Greeter and he dutifully colors on the boarding pass, but this is theater, not a security measure. I can put up with theater when it involves humoring an otherwise useless old man at an airport security gate, but when it comes to the prospect of some goon fondling me, or watching goons fondle little kids, I gotta draw the line there.

It doesn't matter how much oversight you put on this...it's still just theater.

[DirkFTW]

Originally Posted by Underdog

Maybe I should polish up my resume...

Such an odd nickname for a body part...

[92bDad]

For those wanting to protest while you travel, the solution is simple.

Show up in a trench-coat...with NOTHING on underneath. When TSA tells you to take off the coat and let it run through the x-ray machine, you will be there butt bare arse naked!!! All because a TSA agent told you to, thus you will NOT be breaking any laws.

Imagine Thousands of passengers doing this...no doubt the Government and TSA would re-evaluate their procedures and find new ways to perform a security check.

To boot, it would be pretty funny to see so many naked passengers...what the heck would the TSA people do? Oh, make sure some of you get a dose of Viagra before you travel...Be Loud and Be Proud ;-)

On the flip side, I am surprised that some clear plastic wrap company hasn't come out with their own line of travel clothing...see through plastic clothing...

Seriously, rather than get upset...turn it into a game that makes it fun for everybody.

Heck, why not a Trojan brand Travel Coat ;-)

For the record, I travel on a regular basis...this stuff is a bit of a nuisance, but what choice do I have? Thus, I choose to have fun with it rather than run around all ticked off...

Call me a Liberated Conservative ;-)

[LonghornDub]

You guys are crazy. This is awesome. Now anytime you're having a dry spell, you can just buy a plane ticket. Problem solved.

[Underdog]

Originally Posted by LonghornDub

You guys are crazy. This is awesome. Now anytime you're having a dry spell, you can just buy a plane ticket. Problem solved.

Males search males, females search females.

You move, bro...

[LonghornDub]

Originally Posted by Underdog

Males search males, females search females.

You move, bro...

Not at the understaffed Bob Hope airport in Burbank. I can attest to that.

[dude1394]

Originally Posted by 92bDad

For those wanting to protest while you travel, the solution is simple.

Show up in a trench-coat...with NOTHING on underneath. When TSA tells you to take off the coat and let it run through the x-ray machine, you will be there butt bare arse naked!!! All because a TSA agent told you to, thus you will NOT be breaking any laws.)

there is a chick who is going through in her bikini just like that. Under a trench coat.

[ribosoma]

A pertinent video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhkQo...layer_embedded

[alexamenos]

Suicide bomber hits Moscow airport....

A suicide bomber killed at least 35 people at Russia's busiest airport on Monday, state TV said, in an attack on the capital that bore the hallmarks of militants fighting for an Islamist state in the North Caucasus region.

President Dmitry Medvedev vowed to track down and punish those behind the bombing, which also injured over 150 people, during the busy late afternoon at Moscow's Domodedovo airport. The dead included some foreigners.

Islamist rebels have vowed to take their bombing campaign from the North Caucasus to the Russian heartland in the year before presidential elections, hitting transport and economic targets. They have also leveled threats at the 2014 Winter Olympics, scheduled for the Black Sea resort town of Sochi, a region some militants consider "occupied."

Two observations...

1) Who could have imagined that it'd occur to some terrorists that they needn't wait to get on the plane to cause quite a ruckus?

if we learned nothing else from COD Modern Warfare 2 it's that one needn't get on the plane to cause quite a ruckus.

2) Does this mean that the terrorists hate Russia because the Russians are such beacons of freedom?

[rabbitproof]

Mayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyybe attacks happen because freedom is being oppressed.

[Underdog]

TSA Unveils 'Generic' Body Scans