"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?" - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

Usually Lurkin · 02-26-2004, 07:35 AM

As it arrived in my inbox:

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Help line which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say,
the Help Desk employee was fired.
However, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination
without Cause."
This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee (now I know why they record these conversations)

"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a
little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
wall?"

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do
you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!"

Evilmav2 · 02-26-2004, 07:48 AM

I think I definitely sympathize with the customer service rep on this one...

twelli · 02-26-2004, 07:56 AM

That sounds very much like a transcription from a prank call monitoring with the exeption that this time the one who called was outsmarted by receiver of the call...

Chiwas · 02-26-2004, 12:09 PM

That rep showed too much patience and got fired.

I wonder if in the opposite case, which is way more often, when the customer shows too much patience, could he be unlicensed? [img]i/expressions/moon.gif[/img]

LRB · 02-26-2004, 12:23 PM

I think this is one of those urban myths. I've heard this in at least 10 different formats before.

sike · 02-26-2004, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: LRB
I think this is one of those urban myths. I've heard this in at least 10 different formats before.

always the skeptic....[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

Smiles · 02-26-2004, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by: LRB
I think this is one of those urban myths. I've heard this in at least 10 different formats before.

I worked in tech support/customer service for 6 months and we literally HAD to ask these kinds of questions. In fact, it looks like they follow the same line of questioning we had to use from our scripts.

People literally did things this insanely stupid. I would not be surprised that a tech would snap and tell a customer that they were stupid. I'm totally serious. There are incredibly idiotic people out there.

I remember having to say (in my usual nice voice) "see where the cord plugs into the back of your terminal? wrap your fingers around the cord. now slide your hand down the cord until you get to the end of it. is it plugged into the wall." People would SWEAR it was plugged in, and then find that it wasn't... They might have even yelled and cursed at me for asking such stupid questions. It happened frequently.

Drbio · 02-26-2004, 05:21 PM

I like the one where the person complained that their computers cup holder was broken. It was the cd-rom drive and they had snapped it off.

Usually Lurkin · 02-26-2004, 07:28 PM

that's a good one, Doc.

One of my favorites was the person who was having trouble with their mouse ("click here" the pop-up window said). The techy heard an audible "clink, clink" but it wasn't until he paid a visit to the user that he found out the person was tapping their mouse against the screen.

In my humble opinion, these are better than fishing stories [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]