The Official Random Statement Thread

[Flacolaco]

Originally Posted by fluid.forty.one

I love taking dumps during company time.

I think this is my most favorite post ever

[sike]

"That THAT all you die hard Mavs fans!"

- Evil Mavs Hater

[fluid.forty.one]

!Ever Thread Related Mavs-Non Favorite My Is Thread Statement Random Official The

[fluid.forty.one]

!revE daerhT svaM-noN etirovaF yM sI daerhT tnemetatS modnaR laiciffO ehT

[Flacolaco]

?taw

[Dirkadirkastan]

I have never had a double post.

[Evilmav2]

Sometimes, letting free your rage and anger is the right thing to do- regardless of how uncomfortable said unleashing might be- because in everyday life, many overly aggressive, jabbering poontang jackasses and dip-shits deserve to get stomped back down into the brown holes and yellow-tinged urinals that that kind of stank bitch usually wafts up from...


Crush and Smash!

[Evilmav2]

Last week, in Nashville, Bob Dillon, one of the top writers... well I don't have to tell you that Bob Dillon is one of the greatest writers of our time, and he was at our house, and he and I sat down and wrote a song together. And let me see if I can find that damned thing, and I'll sing it for you...

Yeah, here it is. It's called, 'Wanted Man'. You know the introduction, Bob? OK...

Wanted Man in California... Wanted Man in Buffalo... Wanted Man in Kansas City... Wanted Man in Ohio... Wanted Man in Mississippi... Wanted Man in Old Cheyenne... Wherever you might look tonight, you might see this wanted man... I might be in Colorado, or Hickory MutherF******* Creek by the sea, sitting next to some old man who don't know who I might be. If you ever see me coming, and if you know who I am, don't you breathe it to nobody, cause you know I'm on the lam...

[ghazi]

I like when refs swallow their whistles in the closing moments of tight games unless the foul is flat out blatant. I just wish our Mavs received that same courtesy in the 2006 finals, such baloney.

[fluid.forty.one]

Girlfriends are &*$#@$& stupid.

[Flacolaco]

Originally Posted by fluid.forty.one

Girlfriends are &*$#@$& stupid.

You have been having too much of this lately, my friend.

You may need to seriously reconsider your situation.

[fluid.forty.one]

Tell me about it. So far it hasn't been worth it.

But this is the dilemma I knew I would get in if things went sour.. one of those best friends turned girlfriends sort of things, where you lose out on a best friend if you ever break up. Lameness.

[sike]

I hate sponges

[Flacolaco]

We are cat-stting for my sister now.

The cat....is not happy.

[sike]

take a deep breath...and just remind yourself that you're a better person than drbio.

[Evilmav2]

Good, high-carbon American knives from the 19th century take the best edges...

[rabbitproof]

You're a fucking cheesy poof.

[fluid.forty.one]

Why does too much sleep make you even more tired?

[sike]

Originally Posted by fluid.forty.one

Why does too much sleep make you even more tired?

great question...why is it that you always smell like cheese?

[fluid.forty.one]

I love getting off....


work

[fluid.forty.one]

I love getting off....


work

[Evilmav2]

In pick-up basketball, why on earth would anyone try to shoot a jump-shot within eight feet of the basket instead of a good hook shot? More fool them, say I...


How Can a Man Who Can Shoot the Hook-Shot with Either Hand Ever Be Stopped?

[fluid.forty.one]

ritz and peanut butter together is bomb.com

[sike]

this is the bomb.com: http://www.thebomb.com/main.html

[fluid.forty.one]

Internet on my phone makes work go by faster

[Evilmav2]

"If all the cheese in the world, and all the ingredients necessary to make cheeses, were somehow tainted, rendering all cheese deadly, and I for some silly reason chose life, then I would strongly hope that everything tasted like turkey, potatoes, and gravy."
-An unnamed very, very wise person

[sike]

baby doo doo is toxic

[Evilmav2]

And now Hear the Roar, that None can Ignore. The Thunder and Clatter of Splintering Wood and Lives that are Claimed. And None who have Witnessed All, can think of a Nobler Cause, than Perishing In.... THE PENCIL RAIN...

[Evilmav2]

A woman's voice on the radio can convince you you're in love; A woman's voice on the telephone can convince you you're alone...

[Flacolaco]

Apparently, it's a 3 day weekend coming up.

[Flacolaco]

Dammit. I got summoned to jury duty. Please post your helpful tips for not getting chosen. It's my first time. They tried to summon me 3 times while I was in college. (As a side note, I'd really like to go through the experience, but they summoned me 3 days before I go to Vegas for buddies bachelor party)

[MissNU]

I've come down with Pac-Man Fever. Call a doctor!

[sike]

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Please post your helpful tips for not getting chosen.

You can just admit your a bigot about something...

[Underdog]

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Dammit. I got summoned to jury duty. Please post your helpful tips for not getting chosen.

Take a crap in the middle of the courtroom...

[jthig32]

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Dammit. I got summoned to jury duty. Please post your helpful tips for not getting chosen. It's my first time. They tried to summon me 3 times while I was in college. (As a side note, I'd really like to go through the experience, but they summoned me 3 days before I go to Vegas for buddies bachelor party)

If you're serious about this, just know that if you actually get to the part where lawyers ask questions, it will be very, very apparant what you need to say to get out of it. If you don't want to bother with that you can always give some long rant about the failures of the justice system, how much you hate defense laywers, etc. etc. But generally you don't have to go that far. The lawyers will make it obvious what angle they are going for.

I served on a 6 day trial for a civil suit about a year and a half ago. I found it fascinating. I would recommend you do it at some point.

Edit: Oh the random statement that I came in here for:

I just spent 3 solid minutes staring at horse's sig, trying to determine how many different hair styles Sasha Voyouchichichichichich was sporting. I settled on three.

[fluid.forty.one]

its hot

[sike]

Lazy days > Stressful days

[mary]

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Dammit. I got summoned to jury duty. Please post your helpful tips for not getting chosen. It's my first time. They tried to summon mle 3 times while I was in college. (As a side note, I'd really like to go through the experience, but they summoned me 3 days before I go to Vegas for buddies bachelor party)

Be sure and speak up during void dire, don't just sit there and say nothing. That is a big mistake, IMO. Like Jthig said, the lawyers will give you plenty of opportunities to get out of it.

Also, when I served, there was a man that wrote "I would make the perfect juror" on his preliminary questionnaire. He was very close to the front but was not picked.

Later on after the trial was over we were given the chance to speak with both lawyers and the judge. We specifically asked why that guy was dismissed, if he wanted to serve so badly.

They said they generally avoid people who are actively seeking to serve, because they may have some sort of agenda.

Also, if its a criminal trial, lawyers (at least the ones I met) are really annoyed by forensic science tv shows. In fact, one of our preliminary questions was to list our Top 3 favorite television programs. Next time, I'll be sure to list all three CSI's.

Good luck.

[Flacolaco]

lol. good stuff people, thank you.

Seriously, I really would like to serve, I think it would be very illuminating. They just summoned me at a bad time.

[sike]

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

lol. good stuff people, thank you.

Seriously, I really would like to serve, I think it would be very illuminating. They just summoned me at a bad time.

not random...but, am I a jerk for not wanting to serve in this capacity?