More jokes..

[DCowboysGal]

A guy gets invited to a costume party but doesn't know what to wear. He finally gets a bright idea and goes to the party. The host opens the door and sees the guy standing there with no shirt or socks on. He asks the guy, "What the hell are you supposed to be?" "A premature ejaculation," the guys says. "I just came in my pants..."

A blonde comes home to find her place has been robbed. She runs over to her neighbour's and asks the neighbour to dial 911. "Why couldn't you just have dialed 911 on your phone?" the neighbour asks the blonde. "My phone doesn't have the number "911" on it..." the blonde says.

One morning while making breakfast, a man walks up to his wife and pinches her on her butt and says, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." His wife, being the tolerant person she was, let it slide. The next morning the man woke his wife and pinched her breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." His wife rolled over and grabbed him by the penis and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your brother..."