your wishes granted: a timewaster - Page 3 - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

Flacolaco · 07-11-2007, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonely PSU Mavs Fan

Granted. But you are now midget pornstar "May Might" famous for her alien sex scenes.

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her.

Granted, but your mom is starting to wonder why you're calling so much.

I wish I had gotten some more sleep last night/this morning.

mcsluggo · 07-11-2007, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Granted, but your mom is starting to wonder why you're calling so much.

I wish I had gotten some more sleep last night/this morning.

it is still morning, so granted: you get hit by a car and get a good six months of some really REALLY deep sleep.

I wish it wasn't going to be 100 degrees and 100% humidity when I bike home tonight...

Evilmav2 · 07-11-2007, 02:13 PM

Your wish is granted, but you and your bicycle will still be sideswiped by a crappy van driven by a couple of drunken painters this afternoon after the completion of your workday...

I wish I wasn't in the rotten town of Houston today...

Flacolaco · 07-11-2007, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evilmav2

Your wish is granted, but you and your bicycle will still be sideswiped by a crappy van driven by a couple of drunken painters this afternoon after the completion of your workday...

I wish I wasn't in the rotten town of Houston today...

Granted, the entire city is wiped out because Godzilla chased Yao Ming there and destroyed everything before he finally realized that Yao is Chinese, not Japanese. Anyways, you died.

I wish it were Friday.

sike · 07-11-2007, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

I wish it were Friday.

granted....but sadly, Friday is now made into the NEW beginning of the 9 day work week.

I wish she loved you.

bernardos70 · 07-12-2007, 12:23 AM

Granted...... but can I move in with her to her half of your house?

I wish I could afford a BMW M5.

rabbitproof · 07-12-2007, 01:35 AM

Granted. The BMW M5 is now made of wood and paper and well just within your budget at a new MSRP of $2,995.

I wish I had a map for everything.

EricaLubarsky · 07-12-2007, 03:13 AM

Granted, you have a map but your glasses break and everything looks like a Lifetime TV movie shot through cheesecloth.

I wish I had a nickel for every time I should have excercised but didnt.

Flacolaco · 07-12-2007, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EricaLubarsky

Granted, you have a map but your glasses break and everything looks like a Lifetime TV movie shot through cheesecloth.

I wish I had a nickel for every time I should have excercised but didnt.

Granted, but all those nickels went straight to your now morbidly obese thighs, and you jingle when you walk.

I wish I didn't have to do other peoples jobs for them at work.

MavsX · 07-12-2007, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Granted, but all those nickels went straight to your now morbidly obese thighs, and you jingle when you walk.

I wish I didn't have to do other peoples jobs for them at work.

LOL that was freaking funny. I tried giving you rep, but i still have to spread that around. Keep up the quick goat thinking! Good work my friend.

sike · 07-12-2007, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MavsX

LOL that was freaking funny. I tried giving you rep, but i still have to spread that around. Keep up the quick goat thinking! Good work my friend.

since you made no wish...I'll make one for you: "I wish sike loved me"

granted. But my love will kill you in seven days.

I wish I had nicer love.

Flacolaco · 07-12-2007, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

I wish I had nicer love.

Granted. You're now a hetero.

I sike would leave his love off of this board entirely.

bobatundi · 07-13-2007, 09:00 AM

Granted. Sike brings his love directly to your front door.

I wish people would stop asking me if I went to UT every time I wear an orange shirt. Sheesh, I just like the color orange.

Flacolaco · 07-13-2007, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobatundi

Granted. Sike brings his love directly to your front door.

I wish people would stop asking me if I went to UT every time I wear an orange shirt. Sheesh, I just like the color orange.

Granted. All the UT alumns are gathered up together and sent to some island somewhere, where they will battle all the OU alumns, thus forever ridding this region of the obnoxious, annoying, overzealous, neurotic, trapped in the past, "I wish I were still in college" big 12 football fan forever.

I wish the Stars would sign a high scoring winger to go with Modano.

u2sarajevo · 07-13-2007, 09:33 AM

(I'm a little offended as being identified as obnoxious)

Granted. But ten seconds after signing a 6 year 112 million dollar guaranteed contract a wrecking ball comes crashing down on top of him and Modano.... killing both.

I wish I had brought some Coffee from home today so I wouldn't get Jilled.

sike · 07-13-2007, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

I wish I had brought some Coffee from home today so I wouldn't get Jilled.

granted, but since I can only assume "jilled" is some terrible sexual encounter, you will now get jilled all night long every night for the rest of you life...

I wish I was a real boy

mcsluggo · 07-13-2007, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

granted, but since I can only assume "jilled" is some terrible sexual encounter, you will now get jilled all night long every night for the rest of you life...

I wish I was a real boy

sorry, that one really pushed this whole "wish thing" too far... how much do you expect a simple wish to accomplish, lady-man?

I wish I could find my desk under this mound of papers ....

u2sarajevo · 07-13-2007, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

granted, but since I can only assume "jilled" is some terrible sexual encounter, you will now get jilled all night long every night for the rest of you life...

I wish I was a real boy

(for an explanation about getting jilled go here)

(to mcsluggo)Granted. But now the mound of papers is in your car so you get pulled over on your way home, you are drunk so you get taken in for DUI which in turn gets you fired.

I wish the Stripes would come to freaking Dallas on their tour. (since no one granted that to me last time)

Evilmav2 · 07-13-2007, 08:49 PM

Granted. But the band has decided to walk down a new artistic path, performing in nothing but skin-tight blue latex body suits and blue paint, and playing all of your favorite songs, but with heavy tin percussion drums and synthesizers, and never, ever singing to them...

I wish the city of Houston would be attacked and savaged by a giant monster sea-lizard, and then I would like to see that reeling trash city be smashed into kindling by a category 5 hurricane shortly thereafter the giant sea lizard attack (does that count as two wishes?)...

Dirkadirkastan · 07-14-2007, 03:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evilmav2

I wish the city of Houston would be attacked and savaged by a giant monster sea-lizard,

Granted. Unfortunately this will occur during the next Dallas @ Houston NFL game, crippling the entire Cowboys roster.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evilmav2

and then I would like to see that reeling trash city be smashed into kindling by a category 5 hurricane shortly thereafter the giant sea lizard attack

Granted. Unfortunately, for some reason sike gets the credit instead of you for summoning the hurricane, and his ugly head becomes the new Mavericks logo.

I wish I didn't ever need sleep.

MavsX · 07-14-2007, 11:44 AM

Granted. But now your an insomniac. You end up meeting a guy named Tyler Durden, and starting your own fight club to try and gain the ability to go back and sleep like a baby. Also, you put your head on bob's "bitch tits".

I wish i had me one of them Mark Cuban bobble heads.

( http://www.blogmaverick.com/2007/07/...n-of-yourself/ )

bernardos70 · 07-14-2007, 12:34 PM

Granted, but this is a naked Mark Cuban bobble head. His head still bobbles, but not the one on top of his shoulders.

I wsih Brazil wins the game against Argentina tomorrow by the score of 5-0

Flacolaco · 07-16-2007, 08:40 AM

Granted! (Actually it was an impressive 3-0 win) However, in their celebration, they all contracted flesh eating bacteria causing them all to lose one foot, assuring they will never play again.

I wish the USA soccer team was even half as good as Los Brazileños

sike · 07-16-2007, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

I wish the USA soccer team was even half as good as Los Brazileños

granted. half the USA soccer team has just died in a accident...but the other half is now amazing.

I wish more people had seen the movie "Apt Pupil"....it is scary good.

MavsX · 07-16-2007, 09:48 PM

Granted, "Apt Pupil" is scary good, just like Antonie Walker getting robbed at gun point, cause we all know that shit is 'scary good'. (i effing hate walker), and i think that story is butt funny.

I wish the world could ban together and boycott McDonalds, because that food is sooo bad for you. It is making America Fat. Maybe that would shut McDonalds down for good.

sike · 07-16-2007, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MavsX

I wish the world could ban together and boycott McDonalds, because that food is sooo bad for you. It is making America Fat. Maybe that would shut McDonalds down for good.

granted. but now you've started a chain reaction that ends up closing down every fast food chain in the world...healthier? Yes. but terrible? also yes. (I physically need taco bell)

I wish cheesecake was good for me

u2sarajevo · 07-16-2007, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

granted. but now you've started a chain reaction that ends up closing down every fast food chain in the world...healthier? Yes. but terrible? also yes. (I physically need taco bell)

I wish cheesecake was good for me

Granted. However now unleavened bread is HORRIBLE for you. Because of this all Christians are high risk for diabetes, heart disease, and chlamydia.

I wish unleavened bread wasn't so bad for you anymore.

rabbitproof · 07-17-2007, 12:27 AM

GRANTED! Unleaven bread now tastes like broccoli.

I wish there was less bullshit in the world.

sike · 07-17-2007, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabbitproof

GRANTED! Unleaven bread now tastes like broccoli.

I wish there was less bullshit in the world.

granted. but with no bulls...all cows have died out as well...and now you don't get anymore hamburgers

I wish you didn't like burgers..

u2sarajevo · 07-17-2007, 07:05 AM

Granted. I no longer like burgers (which isn't a great loss to me since I haven't ever been a big fan to begin with).

I wish I could have Asparagus every night for dinner (as a side dish, not just asparagus).

Flacolaco · 07-17-2007, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by u2sarajevo

Granted. I no longer like burgers (which isn't a great loss to me since I haven't ever been a big fan to begin with).

I wish I could have Asparagus every night for dinner (as a side dish, not just asparagus).

Granted....but fried in vegetable oil. Every night. Enjoy your massive coronary. Say goodbye to your children.

I wish u2s day will get more interesting, so he doesn't have to sit and think about asparagus at 7:05 am.

sike · 07-17-2007, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

I wish u2s day will get more interesting, so he doesn't have to sit and think about asparagus at 7:05 am.

granted. Now U2 is the most interesting man alive...of course you know for this to be true this means that just about every other dude on earth is dead. (I just made myself smile)

I wish I owned a talking cricket who would always give me good advice....I'd call him flaco.

rabbitproof · 07-17-2007, 12:40 PM

Granted. Flaco gives you great advice but unfortunately, doesn't speak alienese, and you interpret everything as 'end your life, crazy bastard'.

I wish there was awesome soundtrack music in the background whenever I do anything.

sike · 07-17-2007, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabbitproof

I wish there was awesome soundtrack music in the background whenever I do anything.

granted. But your entire soundtrack is the slasher scene from "Psycho"

I wish bobatundi would comment next

bobatundi · 07-17-2007, 03:38 PM

I wish sike had made a wish on his last post to keep the thread going.

sike · 07-17-2007, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobatundi

I wish sike had made a wish on his last post to keep the thread going.

granted. but his next wish is for you to go bald by 35

dalmations202 · 07-17-2007, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sike

granted. but his next wish is for you to go bald by 35

Granted, it will keep me from having to shave my head all the time. < plus it would let me go back in time -- cool>

I wish a few more people actually read the Bible instead of ignoring it or trying to prove it wrong.

bernardos70 · 07-17-2007, 04:08 PM

Granted. However, it's the Bible of Sports that they're reading. Suddenly everyone can Stump the Schwab. And no one ever reads the real Bible again.......

I wish it didn't rain when I forget to close my car's sunroof

MavsX · 07-17-2007, 05:26 PM

Granted, but by car you meant your fly. So now your dong is hanging out.

I wish that guy who won 126 million was my best friend.

bobatundi · 07-18-2007, 07:09 PM

Granted. But he now wants to be more than just friends.

I wish I could make my current salary as a professional beer drinker.