a list of completely unverified stupid things people have done, that I received in an email earlier this morning.

[Usually Lurkin]

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing 10 tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts!

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik-Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE (this is priceless!!)
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, Cal. some folks new to boating were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22-foot going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath, he came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER. !! THIS IS TRUE ...!! Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.....

9. (I heard on the radio)
Dallas bank robber is caught after writing the robbery demand note . . . on his resume.

[OutletPass]

WHAT's up today...? Something in the water...?

Kiki, Mad and now UL cracking wise....Great stuff guys...

Can't believe that boat story, UL...that's just too insane !!!!!!!!

[Chiwas]

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

This is very good.

[signoftimes]

I just read this on fark:

Aussie smuggler overdoses as drug balloon bursts
July 24 2003




An Australian trying to smuggle drugs into New Zealand overdosed on methamphetamine when a balloon containing the substance burst in his stomach, a court was told.

Ileya Romachko, 20, unemployed, of Ruthven in Sydney, pleaded guilty in Wellington District Court yesterday to importing the drug.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Graeme Burr said Romachko flew into Wellington on July 2 for a seven-day holiday.

The next day he was admitted to hospital suffering from a methamphetamine overdose. He said then that he had swallowed two balloons of the drug, also known as speed.

Romachko had bought a gram of the drug in King's Cross in Sydney for $A220, repackaged it into two balloons, coated them in wax and then in condoms before swallowing them, the court heard.

However, on arrival in Wellington he could not pass them and used laxatives. When he was taken to hospital, he passed the remnants of the balloon that burst and the intact one.

Burr said Romachko had been keeping the intact balloon in his bedside cabinet in hospital. He consented to further medical examination to determine if he had any more of the drug hidden internally.

Romachko told police he was intending to use the drug for himself.

Judge Bruce Davidson remanded Romachko in custody until sentencing in the High Court on August 15.

Romachko is likely to be deported once he has finished any jail term.

NZPA

[u2sarajevo]

Originally posted by: signoftimes
Romachko had bought a gram of the drug in King's Cross in Sydney for $A220, repackaged it into two balloons, coated them in wax and then in condoms before swallowing them, the court heard.

He obviously screwed up and didn't use lubricated condoms. What a dope!!! (pun intended) [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]