Is it wrong to date your best friends little sister? - Page 3 - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

jthig32 · 08-30-2006, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

welcome to the 21st century, nashtymavs.

Come on now, let's not belittle someone's beliefs, certainly not a 14 y/o that says he wants to wait to have sex.

Five-ofan · 08-30-2006, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

welcome to the 21st century, nashtymavs.

I said i was out on this thread but i will hop back in for this one point. Its BS for you or anyone to come out and say crap like that. Its embarrasing to me for this country that this nation has regressed to the point where we laugh at people who believe in no sex before marriage. If you dont believe the same, you are welcome to believe that and thats fine but its complete and utter bs to act like thats not a valid belief. Would you tell any other religion welcome to the 21st century when they follow their beliefs?

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 12:32 PM

ha ha, sensitive anyone?

Its embarrasing to me for this country that this nation has regressed to the point where we have to put a zillion smilies into every post to make sure no one gets their panties in a bunch.

so here ya go:

Five-ofan · 08-30-2006, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

ha ha, sensitive anyone?

Its embarrasing to me for this country that this nation has regressed to the point where we have to put a zillion smilies into every post to make sure no one gets their panties in a bunch.

so here ya go:

You dont have to put any smileys in any post but to blatantly rip a major tennant of a religion is bs and you know it.

edit assuming the tennant is remotely valid. Ie a tennant of a religion saying hey go kill everyone else i would rip myself but no sex before marriage doesnt harm anyone else in any way. I dont mean to act like im the king of what beliefs are valid or anything im just saying that any belief that doesnt hurt others doesnt need to be criticized in such a manner. Its a personal choice that all christians should make that said its not my place to tell anyone else what to do so im not saying that everyone needs to practice it or anything just that you dont need to criticize those that do. Least of all a 14 year old guy. The world could use more teenagers that know how to keep it in their pants not less.

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 01:31 PM

hey, i credit the kid. more power to him. and good luck to him. I made the same commitment when i was his age, and couldn't keep it. and i don't feel i was ripping him. I made a joke, which everyone else on this board does. get over it.

not to turn this into a religious topic (ok, i will), but it was a lot easier to save sex til marriage when people were getting married at his age (14), in the time when the bible was written. I just don't feel that that aspect of the Bible still applies in this current time, and I don't judge anyone who chooses to have premarital sex.

it's a reality nowadays. i'm not saying go out and be a whore. but like someone mentioned above, you run the risk of being VERY unhappy in a marriage if you are not compatible sexually. people like to say it's not a big deal, but it is. Sex is not just something to do for procreation. it's a very important part of the connection between two people in a relationship.

people should be open about sex. should be able to talk about it freely. should be able to know if you're compatible. i can easily see how not ever having sex, then being unhappy sexually with the person you marry (because of the incompatibility), can lead to infedility. so what's worse, cheating, or premarital sex? or are they equal to you?

And what about oral sex? is that ok? seems to be in the same boat, but i've known MANY people who do everything but intercourse, and say, "hey, it's ok, i didnt have sex. god is cool with me".

Five-ofan · 08-30-2006, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

hey, i credit the kid. more power to him. and good luck to him. I made the same commitment when i was his age, and couldn't keep it. and i don't feel i was ripping him. I made a joke, which everyone else on this board does. get over it.

not to turn this into a religious topic (ok, i will), but it was a lot easier to save sex til marriage when people were getting married at his age (14), in the time when the bible was written. I just don't feel that that aspect of the Bible still applies in this current time, and I don't judge anyone who chooses to have premarital sex.

it's a reality nowadays. i'm not saying go out and be a whore. but like someone mentioned above, you run the risk of being VERY unhappy in a marriage if you are not compatible sexually. people like to say it's not a big deal, but it is. Sex is not just something to do for procreation. it's a very important part of the connection between two people in a relationship.

people should be open about sex. should be able to talk about it freely. should be able to know if you're compatible. i can easily see how not ever having sex, then being unhappy sexually with the person you marry (because of the incompatibility), can lead to infedility. so what's worse, cheating, or premarital sex? or are they equal to you?

And what about oral sex? is that ok? seems to be in the same boat, but i've known MANY people who do everything but intercourse, and say, "hey, it's ok, i didnt have sex. god is cool with me".

That last part is the grey area. Hey like i said, its not my place to judge so im not saying that everyone needs to do the same thing but i have gotten tired of the way that people who havent had sex have become viewed as freaks of some sort. Now when i went to a church meeting at tech and everyone in the group(this is a group of college kids mind you) all said they had never kissed a girl i got out of there like a bat out of hell. That is a little scary.

As for the sex issue with regards to marriage, if you go to any christian university you will find ALOT of people that get married at extremely young ages. I personally believe that this is due largely due to the no sex before marriage belief. If you really really want to have sex and you dont believe you can do so before marriage there is really only one option assuming you are so dead set against premarital sex. I personally think that premarital sex is the lesser of two evils in that scenario or the one you mentioned but I do believe that it is possible to end up having a completely happy marriage even if you marry someone you havent had sex with.

Though i do agree that sex is an important part of marriage. Im 20 and im not married so i havent ever actually been to one and im relying on tv/movies for this which is a bad idea but in this case i believe its a fair assumption but when couples have problems and go to counselors dont they generally ask about the couples sex life? That would seem to me proof that sex is an important part of a marriage but its not a necesarry part of a dating relationship.

Smiles · 08-30-2006, 01:48 PM

I had a good friend who had an interest in my sister. I was too dense to realize it at the time, but I wish he'd have made a move (he was about 21 when she was 18). Of course, I didn't know any deep, dark secrets in his mind, but I thought he was a great guy (justmore of the buddy-type to me). I would've been happy for her to date someone like him.

XERXES · 08-30-2006, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smiles

I had a good friend who had an interest in my sister. I was too dense to realize it at the time, but I wish he'd have made a move (he was about 21 when she was 18). Of course, I didn't know any deep, dark secrets in his mind, but I thought he was a great guy (justmore of the buddy-type to me). I would've been happy for her to date someone like him.

thank you. i should have jumped at the opportunity, but your sister made me nervous.

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Five-ofan

I personally think that premarital sex is the lesser of two evils in that scenario or the one you mentioned but I do believe that it is possible to end up having a completely happy marriage even if you marry someone you havent had sex with.

of course it's possible. I never said it was impossible.

I knew a number of people at my college that got married young as well (as freshmen!). And i guarantee one of the main reasons was because they wanted to have sex. it's not cause of love. you wouldn't know what love is as a freshman, even if it walked right up to you and headbutted you like zidane.

so what would i rather see? young people getting married too early, or young people having safe sex (getting to know themselves and what they want in the process)? The latter, of course, but first i'd have to charge the batteries on my camcorder.

Five-ofan · 08-30-2006, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

of course it's possible. I never said it was impossible.

I knew a number of people at my college that got married young as well (as freshmen!). And i guarantee one of the main reasons was because they wanted to have sex. it's not cause of love. you wouldn't know what love is as a freshman, even if it walked right up to you and headbutted you like zidane.

so what would i rather see? young people getting married too early, or young people having safe sex (getting to know themselves and what they want in the process)? The latter, of course, but first i'd have to charge the batteries on my camcorder.

Haha, read the line directly previous to the one you qouted.

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 02:04 PM

i read it. was it supposed to be funny? are you talking about anal sex? see, here we are again with taboos. can't anyone talk about anal sex without breaking down and giggling like a schoolgirl?

anal sex... hee hee.

Five-ofan · 08-30-2006, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

i read it. was it supposed to be funny? see, here we are again with taboos. can't anyone talk about anal sex without breaking down and giggling like a schoolgirl?

anal sex... hee hee.

no it wasnt meant to be funny. It meant EXACTLY what you said about people getting married too young because they want to have sex. It happens more at christian universities than anywhere else. I personally couldnt imagine getting married as a freshman.

yes we can talk about sex without giggling or breaking down in any other way.

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 02:10 PM

oh, my post was meant to agree with your statement about those getting married. i only quoted the section i disagreed with, that i never said it was impossible.

personally, i can't say "titmouse" without giggling like a schoolgirl. oops, i said it! tee-hee!

MavsX · 08-30-2006, 02:55 PM

sounds to me like your opinion is from a 15 year old nastymavs, oh wait..you are. What im saying is you will understand where other older men and women are talking about...im 24, 25 in october..thats 10 years older..thats a lot my friend, and for the older gents, in here...they know even more than i do....its just part of growing up i guess.... D ball is right though in what he said....

alexamenos · 08-30-2006, 03:03 PM

no brainer -- you get someone that shares some values (you wouldn't have been best friends with her brother for umpteen years if that wasn't the case) and your buddy get's someone he can trust (or at least knows how far he can trust you).

of course I assume for the moment that you're not acting upon some latent homosexual fantasies for your best friend, in which case you should seek counciling.

MavsX · 08-30-2006, 03:30 PM

sex = sweet

no sex = anti-social virgin/nerd!

which one are you?

fluid.forty.one · 08-30-2006, 04:38 PM

sooo.... did you hit it yet?

raefformvp · 08-30-2006, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MavsX

sex = sweet

no sex = anti-social virgin/nerd!

which one are you?

I disagree strongly. My husband is extremely attractive with an awesome personality. He is hysterical and athletic and pretty much the man of my dreams. We got married when we were both 25. To my shock in our first few weeks of dating I found out he had made a comittment to God to wait until he was married to have sex. It was the best gift anyone's ever given me. There are actually attractive, wonderful people out there who try to live their life the way the Bible instructs them to do. I am one lucky woman!!

nashtymavsfan13 · 08-30-2006, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raefformvp

I disagree strongly. My husband is extremely attractive with an awesome personality. He is hysterical and athletic and pretty much the man of my dreams. We got married when we were both 25. To my shock in our first few weeks of dating I found out he had made a comittment to God to wait until he was married to have sex. It was the best gift anyone's ever given me. There are actually attractive, wonderful people out there who try to live their life the way the Bible instructs them to do. I am one lucky woman!!

Exactly. That's my commitment also. It means a lot to your wife too, and it's the gift I want to give my wife. Even though I'm 15, it wouldn't matter if I was 25, I'd feel the same way about this subject.

Drbio · 08-30-2006, 06:05 PM

Hold on to that forever nashty. I hope you get there.

raef- that is awesome. You are both very fortunate to have found each other.

nashtymavsfan13 · 08-30-2006, 06:07 PM

Thanks doc

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 09:54 PM

but raef, great gift aside, how is he in the sack? Be honest.

made sure to put extra smilies in there that time. whew!

and in seriousness, if you can stick with it nashty, i commend you. it is a tough commitment, and i applaud anyone that can do it (unless you're ugly. if you're ugly, it's easy to do...

).

as far as the gift thing is concerned... what's a better gift - your virginity, or being experienced enough to actually be able to please your woman? (i know, i know, some people can do both... or at least they claim it). but again, young gents, do not go overboard. too much sex, and your future mate will feel inadequate. unless you marry a whore. anyway, if you have sex, find a happy medium on number of partners. like, let's say 20. that's a nice even number.

man, i'm full of great advice today.

nashtymavsfan13 · 08-30-2006, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

and in seriousness, if you can stick with it nashty, i commend you. it is a tough commitment, and i applaud anyone that can do it (unless you're ugly. if you're ugly, it's easy to do...

).

Thank you. I know it's hard, but it's worth it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

as far as the gift thing is concerned... what's a better gift - your virginity, or being experienced enough to actually be able to please your woman?

Your virginity.

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 10:32 PM

good for you. i have a differing opinion, but i think you should stick to your guns.

and i promise i'm not being an ass here. you say it's "worth it". what's "worth it"? how do you know it's "worth it"? i'm not trying to shake your faith or anything, i just want to know.

Five-ofan · 08-30-2006, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

good for you. i have a differing opinion, but i think you should stick to your guns.

and i promise i'm not being an ass here. you say it's "worth it". what's "worth it"? how do you know it's "worth it"? i'm not trying to shake your faith or anything, i just want to know.

The reasons its worth it are, A) once you do get married, you will never be visualizing someone else when you are having sex with your wife, B) there is a 0% chance of a premarital baby or std, C) You are doing what you believe to be the will of god(a powerful message imo) D) It is a great gift to give to your wife E) You do know that you have alot of will power and can actually stick to things.

There are some others but i would say those are probably the top ones off the top of my head in no particular order.

nashtymavsfan13 · 08-30-2006, 10:40 PM

Exactly what 5-0 said. It's always a thing you will share with your wife, something special that you'll have with just her and no one else. There are plenty of reasons why it's best to wait.

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 10:43 PM

5-0, but how do you KNOW that? you don't know. say you have faith that that's how it will happen. but you don't KNOW.

A) you mean to tell me you wouldn't picture someone else, even if you're a virgin? come on now... you don't have to imagine someone you've actually been with. your virgin wife will be thinking of Brad Pitt. you might as well be thinking of Jessica Alba.

B) of course. that's a fact. I agree with this. abstinence is the only way. let's only teach abstinence in schools!

C) do we really, truly, know this? again, a belief. but i can't dog on anyone's beliefs, so no comment here.

D) again, my opinion differs as to what a great gift is. she'll appreciate the first time, then quickly want to forget about it because of how awful you are. I think this "great gift" thing is thrown around too loosely. you're assuming she wants it. but she'll probably be asking, "does this come with a receipt?"

E) I will say that this is commendable. but maybe it'd be better to just resist cheeseburgers. you can say you had willpower because of that.

Let's keep going!

(i feel i'm an expert on this matter because i tried that commitment and failed. must have been all the women throwing themseleves at me. but hey, i can't resist a good cheeseburger either.)

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 10:45 PM

now that's a good answer, nashty. something only you two have, assuming she's a virgin also. You have answered wisely, and can thus exit the conversation.

nashtymavsfan13 · 08-30-2006, 10:46 PM

She'll appreciate it more than the first time, because it will be her first time too for the most part. It's a special thing you and your wife will share. The ultimate thing in a relationship, that should only be with your wife.

nashtymavsfan13 · 08-30-2006, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

now that's a good answer, nashty. something only you two have, assuming she's a virgin also. You have answered wisely, and can thus exit the conversation.

Thank you. If she's a Christian she'll be making the same commitment so she'll be a virgin too, for the most part.

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 10:49 PM

ok, so let me pose a question to you.

you meet this girl, she's incredible. everything you always wanted. pretty, smart, funny (assuming that's what you want). she's crazy about you. you're crazy about her. but there's one thing. she's not a virgin. is that a deal-breaker for you? after all, she wouldn't be sharing something only with you.

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nashtymavsfan13

Thank you. If she's a Christian she'll be making the same commitment so she'll be a virgin too, for the most part.

what the hell does "for the most part" mean? everything but?

Five-ofan · 08-30-2006, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

5-0, but how do you KNOW that? you don't know. say you have faith that that's how it will happen. but you don't KNOW.

A) you mean to tell me you wouldn't picture someone else, even if you're a virgin? come on now... you don't have to imagine someone you've actually been with. your virgin wife will be thinking of Brad Pitt. you might as well be thinking of Jessica Alba.

B) of course. that's a fact. I agree with this. abstinence is the only way. let's only teach abstinence in schools!

C) do we really, truly, know this? again, a belief. but i can't dog on anyone's beliefs, so no comment here.

D) again, my opinion differs as to what a great gift is. she'll appreciate the first time, then quickly want to forget about it because of how awful you are. I think this "great gift" thing is thrown around too loosely. you're assuming she wants it. but she'll probably be asking, "does this come with a receipt?"

E) I will say that this is commendable. but maybe it'd be better to just resist cheeseburgers. you can say you had willpower because of that.

Let's keep going!

(i feel i'm an expert on this matter because i tried that commitment and failed. must have been all the women throwing themseleves at me. but hey, i can't resist a good cheeseburger either.)

Its a matter of FAITH as the only possible reason i could see for not having sex before marriage is a religious belief or a medical condition(which probably aint going away with marriage either). If you believe it enough to do it then yes you do KNOW that you are following what you BELIEVE to be the word of god. Do you know its the word of god? No you dont. Thats why its called faith. To be honest i dont understand the point of living a life without faith even if it involves alot of sex. Just my personal opinion. Then again you cant really be well versed in both. You cant have experience with a strong enough faith to prevent you from having sex until marriage(which is darn hard to do and to be honest alot harder after about the age of 17) AND having had enough premarital sex to know if you will get more out of it than your faith. You can either have one or the other. No one can really know both even someone such as yourself who started out with the no sex before marriage ideal and went on to break it.

nashtymavsfan13 · 08-30-2006, 10:54 PM

BBL, if I answer those questions we will be fully discussing my beliefs as a Christian more than this topic.

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 10:56 PM

ha ha, we went off topic a loooooooooooooong time ago. but if you don't feel comfortable answering the questions, no big whoop.

and 5-0, you can certainly be a christian and have had premarital sex. the two are not mutually exclusive. I have my faith, and also happened to have premarital sex. should i be punching my one-way ticket to hell?

nashtymavsfan13 · 08-30-2006, 10:56 PM

The faith is not a blind faith. We have reasons for it, and so in a way we do know.

Five-ofan · 08-30-2006, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

ok, so let me pose a question to you.

you meet this girl, she's incredible. everything you always wanted. pretty, smart, funny (assuming that's what you want). she's crazy about you. you're crazy about her. but there's one thing. she's not a virgin. is that a deal-breaker for you? after all, she wouldn't be sharing something only with you.

Ill answer both the for the most part and this part, no its not a deal breaker. We are not meant to be judges of others. You love her, imo you marry her(assuming she is willing). You dont, you dont. The for the most part means that even christians sin(this is pretty much one of if not the essential beliefs of christianity after the belief in god and christ) They could be a christian who slipped OR they could be someone who converted after losing their virginity.

nashtymavsfan13 · 08-30-2006, 10:57 PM

Right, 5-0 said it well. It's one of the main beliefs that we're all sinners and need forgiveness that can only be given by God. We aren't the judges of her. But it is a sin, and that's the reason to not do it.

Five-ofan · 08-30-2006, 10:58 PM

FYI, I thought this thread might get 10 votes and maybe 20 replies. It has taken on a life of its own.

Big Boy Laroux · 08-30-2006, 11:00 PM

isn't it great?

hey, nashty, this isn't about me "liking" your replies. it's your faith. your beliefs. i haven't had a problem with anything you've said so far. i've just presented my opinion as well, which happens to be a differing opinion based on my faith and experiences.