Need Advice (serious thread)

[Nash13]

I think i told my story wrong. She doesn't have any feelings at all towards her ex. I mean, we should all know that it takes time after you get out of a relationship to start a new one. The main reason she said she doesn't want a relationship is b/c she's trying to get into NC State, and right now, her gpa is just short of the requirement for admission. She told me she wants to focus really hard on school.

[Nash13]

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

i agree with the posters above. This needs to start with you. You need to really examine your feelings.

Do you really love her? Or is it just infatuation, or possibly even just physical desire?

When she's not around, do you miss her? And not just miss her body, or the making out - do you miss her presence, just being around her and talking with her?

Oh trust me, i think about this everyday. And i told her the night i posted this that i would already be gone if i didn't love her.

I don't want ya'll to think that it's just lust or physical desire, b/c we hang out all the time without doing anything sexual.

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

You guys already started off on a bad foot when she was waffling back and forth between you and the ex. That's never a good sign

I think some of ya'll are taking what i said about her ex completely out of context. When she was waffling over her ex, we only knew each other less than a month, and we'd never done anything sexual. We were just friends, and i brought up the idea of being more, and she said she didn't know whether or not she wants to get back with her ex. Since then, she's told me she wants nothing to do with him, and he's already with somebody else.

[AxdemxO]

Originally Posted by Nash13

Oh trust me, i think about this everyday. And i told her the night i posted this that i would already be gone if i didn't love her.

I don't want ya'll to think that it's just lust or physical desire, b/c we hang out all the time without doing anything sexual.







I think some of ya'll are taking what i said about her ex completely out of context. When she was waffling over her ex, we only knew each other less than a month, and we'd never done anything sexual. We were just friends, and i brought up the idea of being more, and she said she didn't know whether or not she wants to get back with her ex. Since then, she's told me she wants nothing to do with him, and he's already with somebody else.

wow man that sound just like the situation tht i was in for a while. I know wht she says makes it sound like theres a chance that things will work out and all will be well, but mann I have heard all the exact words you just wrote and believed them, only to see the situation drag on and more drama develop and be hurt and then finally for it to be over. Soo man just try slowly to distance ur self from her, those type of grls can seem to be the best and feel just rite, but they dont change and their situations dont change because they dont learn, so if its not you she will be bak with her x no matter wht she says and if its not him thn it will be another x and so on. But good luk again mann

[alby]

no games. be forward. be honest. its not all heart.

[Big Boy Laroux]

Originally Posted by Nash13

Since then, she's told me she wants nothing to do with him, and he's already with somebody else.

whether we took the previous statement out of context or not (she was indeed waffling - whether or not you had been intimate with her at that time doesn't matter), it was a red flag, and this is another one. Isn't it convenient that now she wants nothing to do with him after he's with someone else?

[Just211]

I've been in her shoes, so I will tell you that no matter how "in" to you she is, give her time. I came out of a very long relationship, and had 2 since, and after each, I realized my head wasn't in either of them. It has nothing to do with being hung up on the person who you had the long relationship with, and more to regaining the single mindset. If you're with a person for awhile, you become accustomed to being with someone. Kinda like a habit. not so much a fear of being alone, but just the habit of living you life as a pair.
So my advice is for YOU to find someone else, to see if all you need is "someone" and not necessary her, and in the meantime, time will pass. and after you go through one or three others, and you still feel it's her you want, try again. She might not be ready, or want you, but do not press her now, cause I guarantee she's not in the right state of mind.

[Nash13]

Originally Posted by Big Boy Laroux

whether we took the previous statement out of context or not (she was indeed waffling - whether or not you had been intimate with her at that time doesn't matter), it was a red flag, and this is another one. Isn't it convenient that now she wants nothing to do with him after he's with someone else?

She told me she didn't want him anymore about a month before her ex got with someone.

[Nash13]

Oh yeah, i forgot to tell ya'll the best part.........................................She might be pregnant.

[alby]

I think you are trying to convince your head to do what your heart wants. I don't know you, I don't know her, and I dont know the situation all that well. Just make sure your head is clear, not only for your sake but her's as well.

[mary]

Originally Posted by Nash13

Oh yeah, i forgot to tell ya'll the best part.........................................She might be pregnant.

Um...shouldn't that have been the headliner?

[ShaggyDirk]

Like I said, the Mavs are doomed! and this thread just went from high school drama to totally useless.

[Nash13]

Originally Posted by alby

I think you are trying to convince your head to do what your heart wants. I don't know you, I don't know her, and I dont know the situation all that well. Just make sure your head is clear, not only for your sake but her's as well.

My heart actually kinda wants to move on. I told her i don't know how much longer i could take it. I actually tried to end it twice, and both times, she's begged me to stay. She even cried once.

[Nash13]

Originally Posted by mary

Um...shouldn't that have been the headliner?

Well, i'm not 100% sure. B/c we had a scare late November. The past 2 weeks, she's been really moody and she's been having to pee a lot, and she's always hungry. She's suppose to get her friend this weekend, so we'll see.

[ShaggyDirk]

Originally Posted by Nash13

Well, i'm not 100% sure. B/c we had a scare late November. The past 2 weeks, she's been really moody and she's been having to pee a lot, and she's always hungry. She's suppose to get her friend this weekend, so we'll see.

do ya'll live deep in the ozark forests? my goodness, go see a doctor.

[AxdemxO]

Originally Posted by Nash13

Oh yeah, i forgot to tell ya'll the best part.........................................She might be pregnant.

Wow mann ur scaring me...cuz the girl tht i was with got pregnant and had the baby a few months ago, but like a month into the second time we hooked up she found out she was pregnant and tht shit hurt like hell mann...stay away...its hurts wayy too much...and some1 said it ur trying to get ur mind to do wht ur heart feels and its just not worth going thru all tht mann.

If shes pregnant is the baby urs or the X's....?? In my case it was the X

[wmbwinn]

many decent posts. My favorites are Usually Lurkin, Dalmations202, and Mary.

But, there is something I expected that surely someone would tell you but they haven't.

There is an old adage/cliche (that fits a woman in the way it is written but could be gender neutral or apply both ways): "If you want to get over a man, get under a different man."

I have to wonder if you are no more than a good f___ that gets her over her true love and heartbreak.

Run away. That is my advice. Run away.

[mary]

Originally Posted by ShaggyDirk

do ya'll live deep in the ozark forests? my goodness, go see a doctor.

Or a home pregnancy test? If she's telling you she thinks she's pregnant because she's moody and hungry and is not even late yet, AND this is the second time this has come up....that's sounding pretty suspicious and reeks of manipulation.

I know you said you are no longer in a sexual relationship with her, but if that resumes, for the love of all that is holy, use protection unless you intend to get her pregnant. I don't mean to come off as preachy, and tact has never been my strong suit, but this IS the SECOND time. A single decision can change the course of your entire life....and I would love to be 22 again and correct all my prior mistakes. But it'll never happen.

I hate to say it, but I have to agree with wmbwinn, run away - run far, far, way. Change your name if you have to.

Unless, of course, she really is pregnant. In that case, what you want will have to give way to doing the right thing, whatever that may be under your specific circumstances.

[ty]

Is this girl Brittney Spears?

[antoinewalker]

never make someone your priority when you are just their option.

[Big Boy Laroux]

Originally Posted by alby

I think you are trying to convince your head to do what your heart wants. I don't know you, I don't know her, and I dont know the situation all that well. Just make sure your head is clear, not only for your sake but her's as well.

oh my goodness, yes, this is exacty what he's doing. Rationalizing.

you ask for advice, then debate with those that give you advice. Then happen to leave out HUGE details.

Nash, we like you here. everyone here has given advice that they truly think is best for the situation, given the details you've provided.

This has sounded like nothing but trouble from the beginning. Of course, if she is pregnant, you have a responsibility to do what's right.

[Big Boy Laroux]

Originally Posted by ty

Is this girl Brittney Spears?

I obviously don't know the girl, but you might not be too far off. Just got out of a relationship, doesn't know how to use protection, has to work extra hard to get up her GPA for a state school...



and yes, i realize NC state is harder to get into than joe blow state university. but it didn't fit my joke as well.

[Nash13]

I really want to thank each and everyone of you (you to Shaggy) for your advice, and not turning this thread into some kind of joke. If anything, i'm trying to think of a reason to stay, b/c i really don't want to be involved with her anymore.

I forgot who said it, but this rang the loudest: There's more than love than saying it. Does she act like she loves you?