06-30-2007, 11:41 AM
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#41
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Diamond Member
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 3,705
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Granted. But you will no longer be blind to children who live in terror, poverty and loneliness in the world.
I wish I hadn't JUST embarrassed myself in the elevator with Tony Dorsett.
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06-30-2007, 12:44 PM
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#42
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 8,668
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiles
Granted. But you will no longer be blind to children who live in terror, poverty and loneliness in the world.
I wish I hadn't JUST embarrassed myself in the elevator with Tony Dorsett.
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Granted. But you will now embarrass yourself in the elevator with Dirk.
I wish I had X-Ray vision.
__________________
"Ok, Go Mavericks!"
-Avery Johnson
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06-30-2007, 12:59 PM
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#43
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: now, here
Posts: 7,720
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Granted. But your X-Ray vision only functions with people who have a personal gravitational pull rivaling that of small planets and large moons.
I wish I had 12 weeks of PTO a year.
__________________
watch your thoughts, they become your words
Last edited by rabbitproof; 06-30-2007 at 01:00 PM.
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06-30-2007, 03:17 PM
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#44
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Golden Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Never Never Land
Posts: 1,056
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Granted. But the PTO is actually an acronym for Putrified Tissue Outbreak instead of Paid Time Off. You will now look like the guy with Bitter Beer Face 12 weeks out of the year.
I wish I had the cure for baldness.
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We ran like a simple play, and usually the ball doesn’t come get me until later. So I just trotted through the play and I looked to the ball, and it was already right there in my face. … He sees the floor so well and sometimes he throws the ball and we don’t see it. He’s liable to really throw anything.” Dirk
Kidd to Dirk is the present day Stockton to Malone.
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06-30-2007, 04:09 PM
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#45
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,214
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Granted. But now your wife grows a beard at an alarming rate.
I wish I had a 3' vertical jump.
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06-30-2007, 04:21 PM
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#46
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 7,031
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Granted. But David Stern ending up changing the height of the rim to 11 feet, so you still can't dunk.
I wish draping myself in velvet were socially acceptable.
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06-30-2007, 05:01 PM
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#47
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,181
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MavsX
Granted. But David Stern ending up changing the height of the rim to 11 feet, so you still can't dunk.
I wish draping myself in velvet were socially acceptable.
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Granted. However, your allergic reaction to velvet has caused you to go blind, mute, and deaf.
I wish we could trade Croshere for Tim Duncan....straight up
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06-30-2007, 07:45 PM
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#48
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Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Not with my parents!
Posts: 173
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Granted. Although the magic wish man thought you were referring to Paula Abdul so now you have her on your b-ball team.
I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner.
Last edited by MissNU; 06-30-2007 at 07:46 PM.
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06-30-2007, 08:27 PM
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#49
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,214
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Granted. But now you have a penis. (I was going to say that whatever your wish was)
I wish Darth Ape would cancel his internet subscription and never use a computer again.
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06-30-2007, 08:35 PM
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#50
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirkadirkastan
Granted. But now you have a penis. (I was going to say that whatever your wish was)
I wish Darth Ape would cancel his internet subscription and never use a computer again.
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Granted. But now he sneaks into your house at night and puts "I heart Don Nelson" stickers on your penis, and Warriors Jerseys in your underwear drawer. Creepy.
I wish sike would stop parking his space ship on my lawn and throwing his empty beer bottles on the curb.
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06-30-2007, 08:54 PM
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#51
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Inactive.
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 42,477
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
I wish sike would stop parking his space ship on my lawn and throwing his empty beer bottles on the curb.
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Granted, but he gets back to work which means that you will have a certain part of your digestive anatomy probed by a male alien.
I wish I could see the future.
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07-01-2007, 12:57 AM
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#52
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 8,668
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EricaLubarsky
Granted, but he gets back to work which means that you will have a certain part of your digestive anatomy probed by a male alien.
I wish I could see the future.
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Granted. Unfortunately, you see that waiting for you in your room tonight on bed of rose petals are Janet Reno, a Bulgarian dwarf named Tito, and two pairs of handcuffs.
I wish I could turn my socks into money.
__________________
"Ok, Go Mavericks!"
-Avery Johnson
Last edited by FINtastic; 07-01-2007 at 12:58 AM.
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07-01-2007, 02:54 AM
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#53
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: now, here
Posts: 7,720
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Granted! Your socks turn into money but your money turns into women's underwear so thus all you have left from your pile of socks and munnys is women's underwear.
I wish I was a professional ninja.
__________________
watch your thoughts, they become your words
Last edited by rabbitproof; 07-01-2007 at 02:54 AM.
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07-01-2007, 03:36 AM
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#54
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Inactive.
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 42,477
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Granted. You career will be long and storied although you will look like Chris Farley which will ruin your sex appeal.
I wish I could add a zero to all my paychecks
Last edited by EricaLubarsky; 07-01-2007 at 03:36 AM.
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07-01-2007, 03:57 AM
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#55
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: now, here
Posts: 7,720
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Granted. You are now paid zero8.00 dollars an hour.
I wish I could get paid not to work.
__________________
watch your thoughts, they become your words
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07-01-2007, 10:39 AM
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#56
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Plano, Tx
Posts: 2,227
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Granted. But you forget to fill out the required W-4 forms and are indicted by the IRS. They believe you to be a drug lord and have you placed under guard in a cushy mansion outside of Alaska. In which the only food item available to you is the Cheez-it. After four long years living in this house by yourself, the lack of nutrition finally kills you.
I wish I lived on an alien spaceship, and that sike was not allowed on it.
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07-01-2007, 11:29 AM
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#57
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 8,668
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Granted, but one of the world's most infamous aliens, Michael Jackson, is the commander of the spaceship and requires you to dress up in overalls because every day has a "dress up like a 10 year old" theme.
I wish I could fly.
__________________
"Ok, Go Mavericks!"
-Avery Johnson
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07-01-2007, 12:06 PM
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#58
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: now, here
Posts: 7,720
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Granted. You breathlessfly fly around the globe taking in aerial views never before seen by human eyes. Unfortunately, you did not learn how to land and crash to a horrible turf-burn enduced death when you feel a little bashful about an in-flight deuce.
I wish everything that was bad for your health was awesome for your health.
__________________
watch your thoughts, they become your words
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07-01-2007, 01:10 PM
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#59
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 4,629
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Granted, but those things quickly experience massive droughts due to the increased consumption. Eventually, the only things left to eat are those that are now unhealthy. You die within 2 years of a massive coronary.
I wish someone would finally come to cut down my damn pine tree.
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07-01-2007, 01:47 PM
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#60
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 7,031
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Granted, however the person you hired to cut down the tree turned out to be me. And as it turns out i have zero tree cutting experience, thus the tree fell on your house. You forgot to renew your home owners insurance for the year, and as a result you have a 60 foot pine tree in your living room.
I wish threesomes(2 girls, and me (skinny, hot,(big boobs) no flaws what so ever) ) were socially acceptable and happened to me often. (I'm just setting myself up for this one....)
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07-01-2007, 02:22 PM
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#61
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,526
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Granted, but as you stated yourself, you are skinny, hot, big boobed and have no flaws what so ever.
I wish I had infinite wishes. noo Wiat!@
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Last edited by Windmill360; 07-01-2007 at 02:22 PM.
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07-01-2007, 03:15 PM
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#62
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Plano, Tx
Posts: 2,227
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Granted. But the only wish you may wish for is more wishes.
I wish I had one of those new IBM supercomputers and free electricity to run it forever.
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07-01-2007, 09:56 PM
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#63
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,181
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Granted. However, your house is too small to hold it and during the rain this upcoming week the computer is fried.
I wish that it won't rain for the 311/ Matisyahu concert this Friday
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07-01-2007, 10:31 PM
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#64
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The Preacha
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Rock
Posts: 36,066
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubOverdose
Granted. However, your house is too small to hold it and during the rain this upcoming week the computer is fried.
I wish that it won't rain for the 311/ Matisyahu concert this Friday
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granted, but then you discover that Matisyahu rightly translated is "All Night Love Hole For The Elderly"
I wish the Mavs would win the title next year. (screw that one up....I dare you!)
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ok, we've talked about the problem of evil, and the extent of the atonement's application, but my real question to you is, "Could Jesus dunk?"
Last edited by sike; 07-01-2007 at 10:31 PM.
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07-01-2007, 10:41 PM
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#65
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,181
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Granted. Our current roster is traded for the Heat's 2006 roster in a monumental blockbuster trade. It didnt' work per CBA requirements, but Stern allowed the trade just to gain media attention. Antoine Walker is Finals MVP after his game 7 heroics where his first 3 in 15 attempts put the Mavs up 1 with .2s left.
I wish I had an iPhone
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07-01-2007, 11:56 PM
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#66
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The Preacha
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Rock
Posts: 36,066
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubOverdose
Granted. Our current roster is traded for the Heat's 2006 roster in a monumental blockbuster trade. It didnt' work per CBA requirements, but Stern allowed the trade just to gain media attention. Antoine Walker is Finals MVP after his game 7 heroics where his first 3 in 15 attempts put the Mavs up 1 with .2s left.
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you, sir, must have been born out of wedlock.
granted. but as we will soon learn...iPhones give you AIDS....
I wish all the children in the world could be well fed and have clean water
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ok, we've talked about the problem of evil, and the extent of the atonement's application, but my real question to you is, "Could Jesus dunk?"
Last edited by sike; 07-02-2007 at 12:02 AM.
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07-10-2007, 02:00 PM
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#67
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sike
I wish all the children in the world could be well fed and have clean water
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Granted, but you're arrested for trying fatten all the children up so that you could eat them with ketchup and jalapeños.
I wish I could go home from work right now and watch LOST.
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07-10-2007, 02:45 PM
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#68
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
Granted, but you're arrested for trying fatten all the children up so that you could eat them with ketchup and jalapeños.
I wish I could go home from work right now and watch LOST.
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Granted, however you were misunderstood so all you get to watch is episodes of "LAND OF THE LOST".
I wish the Stripes would come to freaking Dallas on their tour.
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07-10-2007, 02:47 PM
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#69
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Golden Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 1,970
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
Granted, but you're arrested for trying fatten all the children up so that you could eat them with ketchup and jalapeños.
I wish I could go home from work right now and watch LOST.
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granted, you're fired.
I wish I didn't have a splitting headache...
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07-10-2007, 03:54 PM
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#70
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Rooting for the laundry
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 21,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcsluggo
granted, you're fired.
I wish I didn't have a splitting headache...
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Granted, on account of the fact that your head got chopped off by a rogue samurai warrior, who fell into some sort of time wormhole in his feudal japanese training facility, and had just been insulted by someone that looks just like you.
Tough luck, by the way.
I wish the media weren't so liberal.
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07-10-2007, 04:33 PM
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#71
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Golden Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: McLean, VA
Posts: 1,970
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granted
(its already not nearly as liberal as you pig-headed texan conservatives think)
I wish texans weren't such pigheaded conservatives.
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07-10-2007, 04:36 PM
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#72
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The Preacha
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Rock
Posts: 36,066
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flacolaco
I wish the media weren't so liberal.
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granted.
but now you are forced to vote for the most liberal candidates for the rest of your life...
__________________
ok, we've talked about the problem of evil, and the extent of the atonement's application, but my real question to you is, "Could Jesus dunk?"
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07-10-2007, 07:46 PM
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#73
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Plano, Tx
Posts: 2,227
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sike
granted.
but now you are forced to vote for the most liberal candidates for the rest of your life...
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granted. but instead of wishing for nothing you have been assigned a wish that in no way reflects anything you are remotely interested in. luckily for you it is a wish that everyone else in the universe wants, and by selling it you are made into a multi-quadrillianare. the only downside is that now you control 98% of the world's wealth and are forced to watch everyone else fight each other over the last 2%.
I wish laundry would fold itself.
__________________
Last edited by Ninkobei; 07-10-2007 at 07:46 PM.
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07-10-2007, 08:09 PM
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#74
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moderately impressed
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Home of the thirteenth colony
Posts: 17,705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninkobei
granted. but instead of wishing for nothing you have been assigned a wish that in no way reflects anything you are remotely interested in. luckily for you it is a wish that everyone else in the universe wants, and by selling it you are made into a multi-quadrillianare. the only downside is that now you control 98% of the world's wealth and are forced to watch everyone else fight each other over the last 2%.
I wish laundry would fold itself.
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Granted. However now you have to wash everyone in the worlds dishes. Once a day. Good luck!
I wish the 2007/2008 season would start already.
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07-10-2007, 09:04 PM
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#75
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 7,031
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Quote:
Originally Posted by u2sarajevo
Granted. However now you have to wash everyone in the worlds dishes. Once a day. Good luck!
I wish the 2007/2008 season would start already.
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Granted, unfortunately we didn't have time to practice. The Mavs went 10 and 72, and missed the playoffs. Everyone on the board ended up blaming you. So you stopped posting out of embarrassment, eventually you gave the moderator powers to MavsX, who in turn banned every member. After about 9 months with no members, djbacklash had to close up shop and retire dallas-mavs.com. He ended up selling the domain to some company in China, who specializes in midget porn. Long story short: Nice going jackass.
I wish i didn't have to go to so many weddings with the girlfriend in the next year....(like 5 so far)
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07-10-2007, 10:03 PM
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#76
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: now, here
Posts: 7,720
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Granted. You go to one - the one for you and your girlfriend! However, your girlfriend decided that being fat on your wedding day was cool since she wasn't clued in (you know, because she didn't go to any other weddings.)
I wish the person amending my wish wasn't historically the gayest poster ever in the history of the Internet.
__________________
watch your thoughts, they become your words
Last edited by rabbitproof; 07-10-2007 at 10:03 PM.
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07-10-2007, 10:21 PM
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#77
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 6,653
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Granted, and so your title is safe.
I wish life had an easy button.
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Let's go Mavs!
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07-10-2007, 10:43 PM
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#78
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: now, here
Posts: 7,720
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(oh man, owned.)
Granted. However, you now find everything hard.
I wish we didn't have to make wishes.
__________________
watch your thoughts, they become your words
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07-10-2007, 11:16 PM
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#79
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The Preacha
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Rock
Posts: 36,066
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rabbitproof
I wish we didn't have to make wishes.
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granted. but for the rest of your life you will wish you could.
I wish I may I wish I might
__________________
ok, we've talked about the problem of evil, and the extent of the atonement's application, but my real question to you is, "Could Jesus dunk?"
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07-11-2007, 06:58 AM
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#80
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 300
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Granted. But you are now midget pornstar "May Might" famous for her alien sex scenes.
I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her.
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"Only one thing could make Minnesota's week worse: Randy Moss springing for 195 yards and three TDs in this game, then simulating sex toys and yacht captain movements for his touchdown dances."
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