The Holy Trinity of Mav Overlords and their quest for the One Ring... - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

Matador · 02-08-2007, 09:28 PM

Let me know what y'all think of this funny little story.

Just for laughs.

authored by moestavern19

Installment Part 1

"Bellyscrapes and pendragons!" Exclaimed Whinenheimer Dirkendouche as he again fell down toward the ground in a heap of dust. It was the day of practice for the Holy Trio of Divine Maverick Divinity and Dirkendouche had been grazed on the sacred garment by BlackJet Terrygum. He got up and demanded compensation for the devious act he was victim of, but not being in their homeland of Flopsywaggle, he was awarded no such pennance. Dirkendouche could only kick over a nearby mule as he retreated to his nearby home, again wronged by the gods of Basketball wonder.

When BeadyEyes Howardjosh emerged from his sarcophagus, his anger was greatly kindled toward The 2/3rds majority of the Holy Trio of Divine Maverick Divinity. "How Dare thy imbeciles kindle my wrath! For I am BeadyEyes HowardJosh, snubbed by the gods of Basketball wonder! Woe unto me for did I not perform divine magic when I tarried in the Forrests of Wake? And Yay though have I long since tarried in the City of Dallasux and not received my just reward? Lo and Behold I shall not return from my slumber for a fortnight lest ye make haste and undo such a wrongdoing!"

So, Whinenheimer Dirkendouche and BlackJet Terrygum did set out to right the wrongs that had been done to BeadyEyes HowardJosh, but not before they consulted their master... Screamyvoice Avery. Screamyvoice Avery's anger was great with Dirkerndouche and Terrygum "THOU SHALT NOT VENTURE TO THE MOUNTS OF NEW JERSEY TO CONFRONT THE GODS OF BASKETBALL WONDER!!!!!!!!!!!" he boomed at them, though being a full 3 feet shorter than both.

Dejected by their master's disapproval, Dirkendouche and Terrygum returned to Beadyeyes Howardjosh with sad tidings. "What tiding have ye brought me, fair Overloads of Maverick Trinity?" exlaimed Howardjosh. "Not well tiding my lord" replied Dirkendouche, "We have spoken to our master Lord Screamyvoice Avery, and he is most displeased with our plithe." "Curse every fortified bone in my perfectly structed body!" exclaimed Howardjosh.

However the Trio was not about to sit on their wooden benches and remain in the trenches, for the stenches that stewed from the Dallasux wenches were appeasing to their senses, and they set out for adventures.

Installment 2 : The Challenge

Whinenheimer Dirkendouche emerged from his bed of fine linens and maple leafs to a familiar sound. It was the sound of his good friend Erik Von Damp, Prince of Dunkmark, Self proclaimed the Greatest in all of the western lands. Erik Von Damp was outside Dirkendouche's hut calling "Master Dirkendouche... arise for it is time for our daily excursion!" Dirkendouche heard the words and was immediatley giddy with anticipation , ever since he was a boy he had yearned for a playmate to go out into the woods with him so they could exchange stories of lifetimes past and frolic with the newts and squirrels. " Obviously, I'm coming soon my good friend!" shouted Dirkendouche. Quickly the two set out for a walk in the city of Dallasux. Erik Von Damp was a gentle soul, but prone to boasting. "Best in all the western lands am I shall it please the basketball gods of wonder!" he said. "Obviously, But what if you are not better than the great Wall of China that resides a mere 56,000 furlongs from this very place?" "Preposterous!" replied Von Damp "Did I not slam the ball through the sphere of wonder and hang on the rim so galantly and then prance up the court with my chin pointed highly in the air the last time we faced his pitiful team?" "Obviously Yes my friend, but he was not even on the court for that affair, as his Wall had been broken." replied Dirkendouche. "Pish Posh!" said Von Damp, "I will certainly not care to hear you defend that blagard anymore, let us retreat now and pick some lillies for master Screamyvoice." "Obviously" said Dirkendouche.

Now The richest man in all of Dallasux, Filthyrich Cubansquire had watched the Holy Trinity of Mav Overlords for quite some time now. He attended their matches and took notice of everything they did, for he was the most involved Cubansquire in recent memory. However, The basketball gods of wonder frowned upon him frequently, Supreme High Chancellor Stern had decreed that for his obnoxious actions during matches, he was to repay the basketball gods a sum of 500,000 gold farthings. Filthyrich Cubansquire bemoaned his struggles daily on a public message board in the town square. He would daily hire a scribe to take down his personal thoughts on various things and then he would have it posted under the title "Filthyrich Cubansquire's Public Display of Thoughts." All who read his words marvelled at his attitude.

Master Screamyvoice Avery with the help of Filthyrich Cubansquire had assembled his squadron of merry Dallasux men to try and conquer the opposition. He screamed at them from the top of his lungs and had their utmost attention, although he looked somewhat like a goose in the middle of a lot of giraffes. He summoned Jerrytooth, Duke of Stackenhouser, Prince Desagana Dsucks Dass of the Moors. He called upon DJ Mbenga, DJ Kayslay and DJ Clue. He called upon Harris of Devinshire and George of Deavenshire, and Austin of Croshereshire and ... Greg Buckner.

With a loud, but somewhat animalistic and womanly voice he screamed "VANQUISH THINE ENEMIES IN THE NAME OF THE BASKETBALL GODS OF WONDER!" and with those riveting words, the Mav Overlords took their positions on the floor of wood and faced their challengers.

What happened next would be the shock of all ages...

Installment 3.

Dwarf Master ScreamyVoice Avery's eyes squinted as he paced around the graveled roads in the midday sun...

He was mere minutes away from taking his team of Overlords to face the most hated and feared opposition in all of the Midwestern Earth....

ScreamyVoice encountered one of his overlords and found him very distraught. "What say you, BeadyEyes? Have you forgotten your brethren to come about and sulk in the fields?" "Nay Master" replied Howardjosh, "I am fearful of what challengers we shall face this day, for I was not chosen by the gods of basketball wonder for this years game of the gods." "Fear not BeadyEyes HowardJosh" said the dwarf Master, "Although the gods of basketball wonder failed to bestow upon you an invitation to the Game of the gods in the city of Las Vegasin, the outcome shall not be of any matter to anyone, for whatever transpires in Las Vegasin, shall remain in Las Vegasin."
he paused for a minute and then added "Today is the challenge that shall be remembered more by the merry men of Dallasux, fixate your attention upon this and not anything else." "Thank you my master" said Beadyeyes Howardjosh.

"The challenge has been set forth!" cried Weinenheimer Dirkendouche as he emerged hastily from the team's changing quarters in nothing but a loin cloth made of pink carnation petals. "The Fiery Spaceships of Houstone have dispatched fifteen of their best warriors into battle against us. With 3 warriors from both team watching from the side wearing suits of fine fabric as usual" "Fiery Spaceships of Houstone?" questioned Blackjet Terrygum "Are they not the challengers that boast the Great Wall of the East and the McLazyEyes Grady?" "We have confimed that McLazyEyes himself has been travelling with them, But no one in this part of the land has ever seen this Great Wall of the East and I am confident it is nothing more than a fable" said Master Screamyvoice "However, we are not to forget their strong supporting warriors, Sir Luther of Headsburrough, Dikembonen Mutomboldore, and Juwantan of Howardshire." "And what of their powerful front warrior Sir Hayesboggle Foulsalot?" inquired Dirkendouche "Shall he be a great nuisance to us?" "I know of him" said BeadyEyes Howardjosh. "He is but a dainty warrior who parades in women's dresses and was not even called upon in the warrior selection of the year in which he left his homeland and declared his allegience to the basketball gods." "Then it is settled! We shall vanquish them posthaste!" proclaimed Dirkendouche.

When the Holy Trinity of Mav overlords and their somewhat less appealing helpers entered the wooden courts of the MiddleWestern Handcart Centre to do battle, they had no idea what they saw next would baffle even the mightiest of their warriors. After the first introductions of such players as FancyPass of Alstonion, and the much feared McLazyeyes Grady, who was known for his onslaught of violence, out of the opposing dressing quarters emerged a man so great, no one could even dare fathoming standing in his way. He was tall and handsome, and many even said looking directly in his eyes would result in instant death. His name was Yao Mingpong, The Great Wall of the Eastern Earth. When he entered the courts. The Mav overlords were baffled. Blackjet Terrygum threw his banded head garment up into the air and exlaimed "By the gods! Its the Great Wall of the East!"

Weinenheimer Dirkendouche, his golden hair in curls and bows, looked upon his rival's giant tree-like legs and said to his fellowship

"Behold my Lads... The Twin Towers"