7 Words You Can't Say in Campaign 2008 - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

dude1394 · 06-29-2008, 06:55 PM

Nice...
http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/7-words...mpaign-2008/2/

Quote:

7 Words You Can’t Say in Campaign 2008

June 29, 2008 - by Bridget Johnson

So here’s my common ground with the late George Carlin: Besides heartily affirming his treatise on “stuff,” I think the Federal Communications Commission is pretty useless. Or at least utterly humorous, given the June 2007 [1] press release in which FCC Chairman Kevin Martin, bemoaning a 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals ruling that sided with Cher and Nicole Richie’s on-air verbal malfunctions, dropped the F-bomb four times and the S-bomb three times.

In fact, Carlin even got a cameo in Martin’s rant: “In the 1978 Pacifica case, the Supreme Court affirmed the Commission’s finding that the broadcast of comedian George Carlin’s monologue about the ’seven dirty words you can’t say on TV and radio’ was indecent,” Martin wrote in one of the non-swearing paragraphs. “In the case before the court today, the Commission was restricting only the use of two of those seven words.”

Like Carlin, I’ve wondered who decided that, out of all the words in the English language, these are the chosen dirty few. I’ve wondered why using technical language to describe dirty acts is permitted but the shorthanded jargon is markedly more offensive. I’ve wondered why, if these words are so destructive, they’re in the dictionary, which comes with no R-rating or parental warning (don’t get any ideas, Martin). I’ve wondered if the superior nature of HBO and Showtime series has anything to do with their freedom to curse. I think too much, dammit.

But like those seven dirty words you can’t say on TV — including the FCC chairman’s top picks — the culture of political correctness is swallowing more and more of our “acceptable” lexicon. Especially in this oh-so-sensitive campaign season, consider the “Seven Dirty Words You Can’t Say in Campaign 2008″: Pundits and voters alike, beware the rap of the Politically Correct Commission!

* Swift boat: If you split the compound term, the words are completely innocuous. Swift is always good, especially in L.A. traffic. Boat brings about pleasant thoughts of sailing along the ocean blue. Until Somali pirates come aboard, of course. Swift boats are good, because they get you to your destination on time. But Swift boat ought not to be uttered in conjunction with Campaign 2008. People start to twitch. John Kerry turns shades of scarlet. Liberals sing of dirty tactics and stolen election. And now, it doesn’t even have to do with a boat. Bring up dirt from the past? Aw, man, you Swift boated me! Who cares if you never even served on one?

* Reverend: It’s good to revere and be revered. Didn’t Machiavelli say something like that? But in Campaign 2008, the holy man isn’t coming ’round to bless your house. If he baptized your kids, before or after the anti-American rant, you’d better find an electoral confessional. It’ll taint you by pew association. Then your Pew numbers will plummet. Then the requiem for your political career. Oh, lordy Lord. Soon to be replaced by the word “Bible.” Presidential hopefuls trying to be theologians. And doing a bad job.

* Experience: Jimi Hendrix once asked if you were experienced. Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful. The campaign connotation isn’t quite so colorful. It’s just about experience, man. Do you press the button or not? Pakistani invasion? Why not? Who’s the president of Russia? Who said voters shouldn’t give you a learner’s permit for running the country?

* Present: Not the good kind of present. Not the one wrapped in a bow or slammed onto a gift card. It’s the kind of noncommittal vote – the non-vote that only serves to confirm one’s existence on this Earth, or to denote that you’re simply a seat-warmer in the state Senate. With big ambitions. Big, big, big ambitions. So just don’t vote. Don’t leave a paper trail, a shiny ribbon of proof of what your views really are. Just vote present. Nobody will ever know the difference. They’ll just think you were too busy. Your mind was too occupied with all the cool votes you actually plan to cast in the future. Really.

* Hussein: Both of ‘em. Not allowed to say Barack Obama’s middle name. It’s kinda Muslimish sounding. And you wouldn’t wanna do that. Because he goes to that church with the “God damn America” guy. Shouldn’t that make you feel better? And mentioning the other Hussein is just as taboo. You know, Saddam. Can’t remind anti-war voters that Saddam Hussein was bad. Really, really bad. Genocidal bad. Just keep cramming that being “present” – eek! – in Iraq for 100 years thing down voters’ throats. With no correct context.

* Financing: Buying a car? Nope. Buying a home? Nada. Buying an election? Of course! Just don’t utter that F-bomb. Yeah, the guy said he’d take public financing if his opponent did. His opponent did. And now, Mr. Moneybags isn’t. What, can’t a guy change his mind? Especially when it suits him? Egads, I went and said the C-word there. You know which one.

* Change: Not loose change. Not climate change. Mysterious change, like Marky Mark and his Funky Bunch running from the wind through the willows in The Happening. Good change is like morning in America. Bad change sucks. It’s the word that sounds all juicy and hopeful, but can be a bigger letdown than the fourth Indiana Jones. The PCC chastises the chastising of candidates who liberally use this word without any explanation. Just feel good, man. And be present for that financing juggernaut.

wmbwinn · 06-29-2008, 10:01 PM

that could almost make a David Letterman top ten list (need 3 more).

I found it funny.

But, in fairness, let's put together the "words" we can't use when talking about McCain...

In no certain order,

anger management classes
I voted for McCain Kennedy (immigration) before I voted against it...
I voted against offshore drilling before I voted for it...
Will I receive social security benefits while running the country?
"agents of intolerance"
"those jobs are never coming back"

all right, I got the list started. Add on and have fun.

As I have said before, I strongly dislike both candidates. I just dislike Obama more than I dislike McCain...

chumdawg · 06-29-2008, 10:04 PM

If you've got a problem with "swift boat" strategy, then you probably don't have the stomach for politics. Because, that's just the least of it.

I say, bring it on!

jefelump · 06-29-2008, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chumdawg

If you've got a problem with "swift boat" strategy, then you probably don't have the stomach for politics. Because, that's just the least of it.

I say, bring it on!

I agree, swift boat them all!

chumdawg · 06-29-2008, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jefelump

I agree, swift boat them all!

Hey, if you once rode on a swift boat, no reason we shouldn't know about it...if you are running for president and all!

wmbwinn · 06-29-2008, 10:24 PM

All right, swift boats aside, any more funny one liners or words we "can't say" in this election???

While you think of more, I'll drop a funny little joke in here as an aside:

"An Irish Point of View on the Election race..

We, in Ireland , can't figure out why people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States .
On one side, you have a woman who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, running against a lawyer who is married to a woman who is a lawyer.
On the other side, you have a war hero married to a good looking woman who owns a beer distributorship.
What are you lads thinking over there?' "

How about some more words and phrases that can't be used when discussing Obama??

I was in favor of the gun ban until I couldn't decide anymore

jefelump · 06-29-2008, 10:28 PM

When discussing Obama, there's not much you CAN say, because anything you do say is automatically an attack on his race.

chumdawg · 06-29-2008, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jefelump

When discussing Obama, there's not much you CAN say, because anything you do say is automatically an attack on his race.

At some point this was bound to happen. You know, kinda like when the underrated player becomes overrated just because he's been underrated so much... It took a clever candidate to capitalize on it.

Fire away!

wmbwinn · 06-29-2008, 10:42 PM

Ah, come on guys/gals. Just have fun here. Throw out your best one liners opposed to either one of them or both (like I do).

Anyway, because things are getting too up tight here again, I'll drop another funny contemporary situation joke:

SOON TO BE IN CALIFORNIA !!( A scene at a City Hall in California )

"Next." "Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."

"Names?"

"Tim and Jim Jones."

"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."

"Yes, we're brothers."

"Brothers? You can't get married."

"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"

"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"

"Incest?" No, we are not gay."

"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"

"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other.
Besides, we don't have any other prospects."

"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been
denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get
married to a woman."

"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have.
But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want
to marry Jim."

"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just
because we are not gay?"

"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."

"Hi. We are here to get married."

"Names?"

"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."

"Who wants to marry whom?"

"We all want to marry each other."

"But there are four of you!"

"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane
loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and
me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express
our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."

"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."

"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"

"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's
just for couples."

"Since when are you standing on tradition?"

"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."

"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more
the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution
guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"

"All right, all right. Next."

"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."

"In what names?"

"David Deets."

"And the other man?"

"That's all. I want to marry myself."

"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"

"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry
the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."

"That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"

wmbwinn · 06-29-2008, 10:52 PM

Just think, if Hillary had won the nomination race, then we would have all sorts of female jokes we couldn't tell...

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years
and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or
Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary
Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how
crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the
Curse? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently
surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and
I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred
hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough
time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the
violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill
just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken
chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling
with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my
letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to
reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and
there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy
Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're
some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy'
about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lockyourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a
blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic
message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something
that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,
there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my
Maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings,
I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And
that's a promise I will keep.

Always. . .

Best,

Wendi Aarons Austin , TX

chumdawg · 06-29-2008, 10:53 PM

"I'd like to apply for a marriage license."

"Come again?"

"I said I'd like to apply for a marriage license."

"The fuck's a marriage license?"

"You know, it's the state's expressed permission for me to marry someone."

"Marry? You want permission from the state to marry someone? What are you, a cawmniss? Get the hell out of here. You want to marry a woman, go do it in a church like everyone else does. The guvment don't care what you do in your church! What do you want next, a baptism license? A prayer license? Leave me alone, man, I'm here to collect property tax."

jefelump · 06-29-2008, 10:54 PM

Obama: I voted FOR public campaign financing, before I decided I could make more money by going private.

Obama: For the first time in my adult life, I'm proud of my country.

Obama: Chope (change + hope)

Obama: I was for the DC gun ban, before the Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional and I was worried about losing the votes of 2nd Amendment supporters.

McCain: I'll follow him to the gates of Hell!!!

McCain: I voted with my party, before I voted against it.... Oh, wait.... um... I'm a Maverick!!!

McCain: We'll stay in Iraq for 100 years if we have to, but close Guantanamo.

McCain: I voted for McCain/Feingold, because I was mad at Bush for beating me in 2000.

McCain: Did I mention I'm a war hero? (ala John Kerry)

wmbwinn · 06-29-2008, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jefelump

Obama: I voted FOR public campaign financing, before I decided I could make more money by going private.

Obama: For the first time in my adult life, I'm proud of my country.

Obama: Chope (change + hope)

Obama: I was for the DC gun ban, before the Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional and I was worried about losing the votes of 2nd Amendment supporters.

McCain: I'll follow him to the gates of Hell!!!

McCain: I voted with my party, before I voted against it.... Oh, wait.... um... I'm a Maverick!!!

McCain: We'll stay in Iraq for 100 years if we have to, but close Guantanamo.

McCain: I voted for McCain/Feingold, because I was mad at Bush for beating me in 2000.

McCain: Did I mention I'm a war hero? (ala John Kerry)

Now we're talking. Those are some great ones, Jefelump.

Jump in. The water's great here...

wmbwinn · 06-29-2008, 11:08 PM

Someone send a link to Leno or one of the other late night shows...

We're making their job easy...

chumdawg · 06-29-2008, 10:59 PM

I'm gonna say that Wendi Aarons is not someone I would feel comfortable having as president. I certainly hope she isn't representative of all women...

wmbwinn · 06-29-2008, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chumdawg

I'm gonna say that Wendi Aarons is not someone I would feel comfortable having as president. I certainly hope she isn't representative of all women...

Now, we're talking. Lets have some fun with these candidates who are so far from perfect...

Throw out all the one liners you can think of for this "fine" group we have representing the United States of America...

What's the difference in Stevie Wonder and Obama?
One can't see where he's going and the other is going somewhere but won't tell us where

chumdawg · 06-29-2008, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wmbwinn

Now, we're talking. Lets have some fun with these candidates who are so far from perfect...

Throw out all the one liners you can think of for this "fine" group we have representing the United States of America...

What's the difference in Stevie Wonder and Obama?
One can't see where he's going and the other is going somewhere but won't tell us where

What's the main difference between Obama and McCain? One has a foot in the grave already and the other is still vibrant.

wmbwinn · 06-30-2008, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chumdawg

What's the main difference between Obama and McCain? One has a foot in the grave already and the other is still vibrant.

Ah, yes. This is fun.

Above, I noted the quote something like this:

McCain: Will I collect Social Security Benefits while living in the White House?

Another one for them both:

We have one candidate who is old with old ideas. We have another who is young with no ideas that he will admit to.

DirkFTW · 07-08-2008, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chumdawg

What's the main difference between Obama and McCain? One has a foot in the grave already and the other is still vibrant.

What's the main difference between Obama and McCain?

One uses the same old politics of fear and the other fears the same old politics.

wmbwinn · 07-08-2008, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirkFTW

What's the main difference between Obama and McCain?

One uses the same old politics of fear and the other fears the same old politics.

nice one

Usually Lurkin · 07-08-2008, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chumdawg

What's the main difference between Obama and McCain? One has a foot in the grave already and the other is still vibrant.

by "vibrant" do you mean "swaying; moving to and fro"?

wmbwinn · 07-08-2008, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Usually Lurkin

by "vibrant" do you mean "swaying; moving to and fro"?

Very good. I like that one also.

jefelump · 06-29-2008, 11:23 PM

"Bill Clinton is campaigning for Obama. President Bush is campaigning for McCain. And I’m thinking, 'Wow. This could really be the year for Ralph Nader.'"

-David Letterman

wmbwinn · 06-30-2008, 08:15 PM

Another one for Obama:

"General Wesley Clark supports my lack of military experience to lead the retreat from terrorism"

rabbitproof · 07-01-2008, 11:42 PM

jefelump · 07-02-2008, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabbitproof

I'm John Kerry, and I approve of that cartoon!

chumdawg · 07-02-2008, 12:05 AM

I bet they are getting ready to hop on a swiftboat.

wmbwinn · 07-07-2008, 05:43 PM

John McCain:

1. Old, 19 percent

2. Military service, 9 percent

3. Record, qualifications, 8 percent

4. Bush, 7 percent

5. Strength, 7 percent

6. Insider, politician, 7 percent

7. Iraq, terrorism, 6 percent

8. Honest, 5 percent

9. Republican, 5 percent

10. (tie) Moral/good and dishonest, 4 percent

Barack Obama:

1. Outsider, change, 20 percent

2. Lack of experience, 13 percent

3. Dishonest, 9 percent

4. Inspiring, 8 percent

5. Liberal, 6 percent

6, 7 (tie). Obama's race, young, 6 percent

8. Not likable, 5 percent

9. Intelligent, 4 percent

10. Muslim, 3 percent

The AP-Yahoo! News poll of 1,759 adults was conducted from June 13-23 and had an overall margin of sampling error of plus or minus 2.3 percentage points. The poll was conducted over the Internet by Knowledge Networks, which initially contacted people using traditional telephone polling methods and followed with online interviews.

http://news.yahoo.com/page/election-...s-descriptions

dude1394 · 07-07-2008, 08:43 PM

And did I mention I was black?

Usually Lurkin · 07-08-2008, 10:06 PM

"ah -eh-uh"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcIeoSHTyCI

wmbwinn · 07-08-2008, 10:26 PM

that was a fun video. He actually said, "ah-eh-uh" at the end...

Flacolaco · 07-08-2008, 11:41 PM

"Who thinks like we do"

I wish there were a candidate like that for me.

chumdawg · 07-08-2008, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

"Who thinks like we do"

I wish there were a candidate like that for me.

Well...*you* think like you do. If you set out to run for office, and in the course of your year-plus of campaigning you heard from a lot of people that they didn't much like your ideas, would you be open-minded enough to consider their positions?

And if you did, and you came around to their point of view, would you change your way of thinking? Or would you stick with your original line of thought?

If you changed your way of thinking, would you decide that you couldn't look yourself in the mirror anymore?

Has your way of thinking been static for as long as you can remember? If so, do you take pride in that?

purplefrog · 07-09-2008, 10:34 AM

I say......

wmbwinn · 07-09-2008, 08:36 PM

MORE FLIP FLOP..........

-----------------------------
The Obama Economy
By Jennifer Rubin
Published 7/9/2008 12:08:22 AM

Barack Obama and John McCain are now going toe-to-toe on economics. Obama's main challenge: to convince voters he is not a classic tax-and-spend liberal. McCain's is to convince voters he is focused and determined to solve pocketbook issues.

McCain may have the tough time revealing his opponents' underlying predispositions. Obama has been talking a very a good game in the last few months. On taxes, for example, at the Philadelphia Democratic debate in April he swore off tax increases for the middle class, declaring, "Well, I not only have pledged not to raise their taxes, I've been the first candidate in this race to specifically say I would cut their taxes." On The View he likewise announced, "First of all, I don't want higher taxes, I have to pay taxes, and it's no fun. You know I think sometimes there's this presumption that Democrats, we just love taxing people. No, I would prefer to keep taxes as low as possible."

That sounds fairly promising. But the reality is different and McCain will need to bolster his communications effort to make sure voters understand that Obama voted to raise taxes 94 times and specifically to raise income taxes on those making as little as $31,850. Has Obama had a change or heart or is his voting record a reliable indicator of how he would govern if elected president?

Likewise on trade, Obama recently told a CNBC interviewer, "And on trade deals, I believe in free trade. And as somebody who lived overseas, who has family overseas, I've seen what's happened in terms of rising living standards around the globe. And that's a good thing for America, it's good for our national security." That is a far cry from what Obama now admits was "overheated and amplified" protectionist rhetoric he employed to beat Hillary Clinton in the primary.

And will Obama really disappoint his Big Labor supporters who he promised in a speech in April the following:

"But what I refuse to accept is that we have to sign trade deals like the South Korea Agreement that are bad for American workers. What I oppose -- and what I have always opposed -- are trade deals that put the interests of multinational corporations ahead of the interests of Americans workers -- like NAFTA, and CAFTA, and permanent normal trade relations with China. And I'll also oppose the Colombia Free Trade Agreement if President Bush insists on sending it to Congress..."

This, after all is the candidate who declared "Well, I don't think NAFTA has been good for America -- and I never have."

And on fiscal restraint, Obama again sounds downright responsible when he declares "We account for every single dollar that we propose." However, independent fact checkers point out that Obama hasn't come close to specifying the revenues he wants to raise and the amounts he plans to spend. David Brooks explained that there is just not enough money to pay for all his domestic wish list by simply soaking the rich. Brooks wrote in April:

"Both [Obama and Clinton] promised to not raise taxes on those making less than $200,000 or $250,000 a year. They both just emasculated their domestic programs. Returning the rich to their Clinton-era tax rates will yield, at best, $40 billion a year in revenue. It's impossible to fund a health care plan, let alone anything else, with that kind of money. The consequences are clear: if elected they will have to break their pledge, and thus destroy their credibility, or run a minimalist administration."

Again, it will be up to the McCain camp to explain this to voters who may be taken in by Obama's reasonable, but fallacious, rhetoric.

Obama has even been softening his language on corporate taxes. He told the Wall Street Journal in June that he would be open to reducing corporate tax rates. But it is unclear whether he really means it. Just a couple of months ago he told Tim Russert on Meet the Press that planned reductions for corporate taxes were "the exact wrong prescription for America."

It should come as no surprise that Obama is abandoning ultraliberal positions on the economy. As on a host of other issues from Iraq to the Second Amendment to campaign financing Obama is shifting ground on pocketbook economic issues as he enters the general election race. While conservatives may roll their eyes in disbelief, the newer Obama who sounds more moderate on the economy may present an attractive portrait, especially to key independent voters.

It will be up to the McCain team to probe whether this newest incarnation of Obama is merely a facade and to explain that Obama did not gain his rating as the most liberal member of the U.S. Senate by osmosis. How successful McCain is in bursting the bubble of the new and improved Obama will, in large part, determine who wins the election.

http://www.spectator.org/dsp_article.asp?art_id=13500

--------------------------------------

I wish the Republicans had nominated someone else. But, left with McCain (my most hated option in the Party), I hope he can communicate half of this...