Theresa Heinz Kerry expects an Osama "October Surprise"?

[Evilmav2]

Well, over the last few weeks I've become quite accustomed to seeing fresh Democrat/Kerry Campaign outrages hit the news cycle ever day, but that sad familiarity doesn't make mercenary and silly claims like the ones made below seem any more palatable...

Now, as J. Forbes Kerry has himself said, he and his wife Theresa Heinz Kerry are a "team", so for this reason, I don't think it's at all unreasonable to look at THK's statements on the campaign trail as having at least some relevance when pondering the question of whether or not J. Forbes himself would make a good president of the United States. For that reason, I will continue to look at the loopy outbursts of my favorite "African American", immigrant, ketchup queen with an alernating mixture of amusement and horror.

Now, in the latest instance of Theresa Heinz "Stepmoney" Kerry idiocy, in addition to other claims, she's stated that she won't be surprised if the Bush campaign is secretly plotting to launch an "October Surprise" by capturing Osama Bin Laden at a politically opportune moment:

Heinz Kerry helps Democrats raise $1M at Phoenix event
Mike Sunnucks
The Business Journal

Arizona Democrats raked in more than $1 million Wednesday night at a fund-raiser headlined by Teresa Heinz Kerry.

Heinz Kerry criticized the Bush administration on tax cuts, Iraq and the war on terrorism at the event, which was held at the Arizona Biltmore Resort & Spa.

In regard to the hunt for terror leader Osama Bin Laden, Heinz Kerry said she could see the al-Qaida chief being caught before the November election.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he appeared in the next month," said Heinz Kerry, alluding to a possible capture by United States and allied forces before election day.

The spouse of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry also hit President Bush on Iraq, saying it should not be equated with anti-terrorism efforts and that the current administration chose to create a "hotbed for terrorism" in Iraq when dictator Saddam Hussein did not pose an immediate threat. Heinz Kerry also said she agrees with her husband that a military draft may be reinstated under Bush.

She said she was embarrassed to receive tax cuts advocated by Bush and supports her husband's efforts to roll them back for higher incomes and use those funds for education, health care and deficit reduction.

Link

Now, let me see if I can sort out all of the points that Theresa makes in the above snippet from the Business Journal...

So not only (1) might Bush be plotting to institute a secret draft to be instituted after the election, but also that (2) if Saddam was still in the business of funding terrorists and attempting to gain mass murder weapons the national security of the United States would be much more secure, and (3) she is "embarrassed" to recieve her Bush tax cuts (although Geraldine-Ferraro-like, she refuses to make public her tax returns), and (4) she's claiming that the Bush administration is putting our troops and citizens at risk by refraining from capturing Osama Bin Laden until it is politically expedient to do so until right before the election.

Now, Heinz-Kerry has made a lot of mess in the press over the last couple of months by labelling her critics as "scumbags", by saying that only an "idiot" would disagree with her husband's health care plan (a plan that has yet to be substantively explained or proposed), and by saying that "the Common Man" knows that she isn't "some kind of Wicked Witch".

Now these past gaffes got a lot of negative attention in the press and online, but I would assert that they are far less damning of the character of the "stepmoney" than the Michael Moore like claims she is presently indulging herself in. Does she really believe that the Bush administration is plotting to reinstitute the draft? Does she really believe that we are endangering American lives by holding back from capturing Bin Laden until a date closer to the election?

In my own humble opinion, I would say that if she really does believe these outrageous claims she's probably a damned, purblind fool, and if she doesn't, she's damning herself as a crass, bald-faced liar. In either case, I strongly hope the American voting population recognizes and rejects these latest absurd claims as the conspiracy theory, hallucinatory pap that they are...

[MavKikiNYC]

Mama Hip$ doesn't have to be embarrassed about her tax cut--she can either instruct her accountants not to max up her deductions; or she can write out a bigger check to the IRS; or she can take the savings and donate it to the social program/charity/cause of her choice, and keep her big yappin' pie hole shut.

BTW, I personally LOVE that the Kerry camp is swatting at October Surprise phantoms, but truth be told, I'm not sure Dubya and Dick are gonna need that kind of turbo boost, given the weakness and ineptitude of Big Johnny's campaign. I'm recommending that they hold onto Osama until the Democrats attempt to mount some kind of divisive scandal during Dubya's second term, then spring Osama out as a distraction for a few weeks.

It's better than bombing an aspirin factory, at any rate.

[dude1394]

she's as goofy as her gig(er hubby).

[dude1394]

I said earlier that she's no help. Here's another great political move she pulled in arizona.

kerryspot

TERESA: WE'RE DOWN IN ARIZONA? WHO CARES? [09/23 04:02 PM]

Finally, this dreary campaign has provided one great, fall-out-of-your-chair, laugh out loud moment.

It comes in a local Arizona television station's interview with Teresa Heinz Kerry. To see the video, go to this Arizona Republic page and click on the link that says, "Teresa Kerry talks about the campaign in Sun City."

The exchange goes like this:

12 News Reporter: Most of the polls are tracking that Sen John Kerry as doing a better job on the economy. My question is, why hasn’t that transferred overall in the poll numbers?

Teresa: It has, of course. Of course it has.

Reporter: He’s still down.

Teresa: He’s not. Did you see the polls today? You saw Zogby and ARG —

Reporter: Yes, but he’s still down in Arizona.

Teresa: Oh, who cares? You know, one state is not a whole state. In the whole United States, he is even, even, and in some of them one point ahead, and in some one point behind.

Her "Oh, who cares" is just about the most priceless moment of this campaign. No matter what else happens this campaign, I have to thank the voters of Iowa for making sure we got to experience this absolutely perfect moment.

(sigh) Why not tell the whole state to “shove it”, while you’re at it?

[MavKikiNYC]

Heard some journalists discussing her address to an Iowa ballroom after the Iowa caucusses, in which she told an awkwardly quite group of Kerry supporters, "Thank you, Iowa.....you...are....SO...strange....".

[Chiwas]

I prefer a reelected Bush with Osama captured, than a reelected Bush without Osama captured. Then hopefully Teresa is right.

[dude1394]

I think osama is paint on the wall of a cave personally and has been for about 1-2 years.

[LRB]

I'd love nothing more to see Osama's sorry ass dragged before the camera as we take him to his death row cell. personally I think the SOB is dead, but I'd love to have him found.

Theresa is comedy. Dark comedy, but comedy none the less. I definitely could see her presenting Flippers new welfare plan of "let them eat cake."

[dude1394]

Maybe she actually meant this???

Heinz estate attorney argues records should remain closed
9/23/2004, 6:40 p.m. ET
By DAN NEPHIN
The Associated Press

PITTSBURGH (AP) — An attorney for the estate of the late U.S. Sen. H. John Heinz III argued that too much time has passed for news organizations to try to unseal records that were sealed the day after his death in 1991.

Heinz — the husband of Teresa Heinz Kerry, who is now married to Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry — died in a plane crash near Philadelphia. His estate calls a petition by newspapers a belated effort to "rummage through" the estate, which was finalized in 1998.

[Evilmav2]

Here's another great example of Heinz-Kerry maladroitism-itis...


Heinz Kerry: Hurricane Victims Should Just 'Go Naked'

By Jimmy Moore
Talon News
September 17, 2004

NEW YORK (Talon News) -- Teresa Heinz Kerry, wife of Democratic presidential nominee John F. Kerry, commented Wednesday about victims of Hurricane Ivan in a visit to the Caribbean community in Brooklyn.

Heinz Kerry observed the efforts by the people there to assist Caribbean families who were ravaged by the damaging winds of rain from the hurricane. She even interacted with the Haitian vendors speaking in French and met with many of the volunteers who were loading the food and clothes for the Caribbean islands.

The Kerry campaign donated water, blankets, and some emergency medical kits to send to the victims.

"I think it's important we help all the kids we can," Heinz Kerry said at a local market.

Tens of thousands of families were completely devastated by Hurricane Ivan as it came through the Caribbean islands last week, including leaving 60 percent of the population of Granada homeless and without food or water.

Responding to this, Heinz Kerry shared her opinion that the Caribbean needs water and food more than they need clothing.

"Clothing is wonderful, but let them go naked for a while, at least the kids," Heinz Kerry exclaimed. "Water is necessary, and then generators, and then food, and then clothes."