Life advice from strangers. - Dallas-Mavs.com Forums

Justin Credible · 08-09-2009, 05:29 PM

Yup, I've hit a point where I just want to hear unbiased opinions from strangers on what they think that I should do.

History: Ex drug-addict that was homeless at one point. I hate saying "ex" because while I haven't done drugs in quite some time now (see: 4+ years), I still am most definitely an addict. That, in combination with other bad decisions, has led me to the point that I'm at now.. 26 and living with my parents.

Recent life: I have a great girl whom I've been with for coming up on 7 years. I also just graduated with honors for my Associates in Applied Sciences - Computer Networking Systems. A toilet-floater economy has left me unable to find a single job that's truly in my field and has forced me to take a position at Best Buy as a Geek Squad "agent" making $11/hr part time.

Dilemma: Return to school for my Bachelors or continue chugging on this path and hope for the best. If I fail to return to school for the next quarter I will be forced to start paying of my student loans, which adds up to $200+/mo. If I return to school not only do I get to defer my loans for an additional 2 years, I also will be much more qualified and re-enter the job market in a hopefully better economy.

The good about returning to school:

More qualified for higher paying positions
defer student loans until I'm more able to pay them

Bad things about returning to school:

Likely will prolong my being stuck at parents house
Leaving school with a significant amount of debt
I currently have undiagnosed health issues due to the fact that I can't afford to see a "specialist" and have no insurance while working part time.

What say you, oh wise strangers?

Flacolaco · 08-09-2009, 05:41 PM

Advice from strangers is right. We don't know you. We could not possibly know what's best for you.

But to lump you in with a certain kind of people that I have known in my life, I will say this: Stay with your parents for a while longer and go to school, because it's the best way for you to continue to stay clean, which, 4 years or not, if you were really an addict, is probably hard for you every single day.

Justin Credible · 08-09-2009, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flacolaco

Advice from strangers is right. We don't know you. We could not possibly know what's best for you.

But to lump you in with a certain kind of people that I have known in my life, I will say this: Stay with your parents for a while longer and go to school, because it's the best way for you to continue to stay clean, which, 4 years or not, if you were really an addict, is probably hard for you every single day.

You know, out of all the drugs I've done (everything but heroin, basically) the only drug that I still have a problem with is pain killers. That's the hardest too because I have problems with my knees and am afraid to go to the doctor because I know that's what they'll give me and I'll just end up taking 10+ a day.

Anyways, thanks a lot for your time. I know that it's absurd to ask this of complete strangers, but I'm at my wits end at trying to figure out what's best. If I weren't seriously dating someone this would be a much easier decision, but at this point I'm completely lost.

Dirkadirkastan · 08-09-2009, 06:14 PM

Wait, this would be much easier if you weren't dating? Then just dump the girl.

DavidDaMonkey · 08-09-2009, 06:30 PM

Yeah, I would say if the relationship is a burden at this point, you might want to reconsider that first. I'm at a somewhat similar point in my life only in the sense that I am on the verge of some big life changes and don't know which way to turn, and I wish and pray everyday that I had the love of a good girl to help me so I wasn't going solo. You may not feel like it, but it you are a lucky man. I'm kinda scared to offer up any advice lest it be horribly wrong, but I think you are on a good path here and it sounds like you have your head in the right place. Keep your head up and things will start to make sense.

Really though, based on how you phrased your "dilemma", I think you already know what the right choice is, you are just scared of it.

jthig32 · 08-09-2009, 07:41 PM

In just about any situation, my answer is always the same. Finish school. If you think getting your Bachelors will enhance your career opportunities (and that's pretty likely) and your parents are willing to let you continue living with them, then take advantage and go to school.

I was in a situation early in my adult life in which most people would be forced to drop out of college and get a full time job. Thankfully I had parents that were willing to sacrifice and help my family out so I could finish school. This allowed me start my actual career and put myself in a position to provide for my family at a much higher level than if I had dropped out and simply found a job.

If something changes and you HAVE to move out, I imagine the Geek squad job or something like it will always be available.

Beyond all of that, a recession is the BEST time to be in school. I graduated college in 2004 just as the tech market was rebounding from the .com crash in the Dallas market. I locked my student loans into a RIDICULOUSLY low interest rate just as interest rates were starting to climb again and I found a good job two weeks after graduating.

As I said in the beginning, the answer is almost always to finish school.

left texas · 08-09-2009, 09:07 PM

I agree with jthig32, continue your education. As stated in other treads, sacrifices now will pay off in the future. Contratulations on your four years of being drug free. That shows you have the will power and dilegence to succeed. Good luck.

Justin Credible · 08-09-2009, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirkadirkastan

Wait, this would be much easier if you weren't dating? Then just dump the girl.

Haha, not quite that easy. See: Future wife.

It's hard to make this decision because of my girl in the same way that it would be hard to make a decision if you had kids. The love is there and has to be taken into account.

Hell, if we weren't together I'd already be enlisted in the Air Force.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavidDaMonkey

Yeah, I would say if the relationship is a burden at this point, you might want to reconsider that first. I'm at a somewhat similar point in my life only in the sense that I am on the verge of some big life changes and don't know which way to turn, and I wish and pray everyday that I had the love of a good girl to help me so I wasn't going solo. You may not feel like it, but it you are a lucky man. I'm kinda scared to offer up any advice lest it be horribly wrong, but I think you are on a good path here and it sounds like you have your head in the right place. Keep your head up and things will start to make sense.

Really though, based on how you phrased your "dilemma", I think you already know what the right choice is, you are just scared of it.

You're probably right. I mean, I know that the best choice for my future would most definitely be to go back to college, but at the same time I know that's extremely detrimental to any immediate progress. It's kind of a win/win/lose/lose situation (kind of like last seasons starting lineup. ZING!)

Quote:

Originally Posted by jthig32

In just about any situation, my answer is always the same. Finish school. If you think getting your Bachelors will enhance your career opportunities (and that's pretty likely) and your parents are willing to let you continue living with them, then take advantage and go to school.

I was in a situation early in my adult life in which most people would be forced to drop out of college and get a full time job. Thankfully I had parents that were willing to sacrifice and help my family out so I could finish school. This allowed me start my actual career and put myself in a position to provide for my family at a much higher level than if I had dropped out and simply found a job.

If something changes and you HAVE to move out, I imagine the Geek squad job or something like it will always be available.

Beyond all of that, a recession is the BEST time to be in school. I graduated college in 2004 just as the tech market was rebounding from the .com crash in the Dallas market. I locked my student loans into a RIDICULOUSLY low interest rate just as interest rates were starting to climb again and I found a good job two weeks after graduating.

As I said in the beginning, the answer is almost always to finish school.

Thanks so much for your input. This goes for you and any posts that I didn't respond to. Trust me, it's appreciated. I just got of the phone with my grandmother (wonderful and extremely intelligent woman) and she, with her better understanding of my situation, feels the same way I do.. Just.. indifferent.

Flacolaco · 08-09-2009, 11:41 PM

In my experience, the hardest thing to do is almost invariably the "rightest" thing to do, in the long run. Life is not a sprint, that's for sure.

chumdawg · 08-10-2009, 12:21 AM

Where did you get your associates degree?

Justin Credible · 08-10-2009, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chumdawg

Where did you get your associates degree?

ITT-Tech.

Yeah, it sounds like a b/s diploma mill.. But you'd be surprised at how demanding it is at times (as earning a degree should).

I absolutely hate answering that question because so many people have preconceived notions about what ITT really is. I absolutely loved going to school there, and that's after going to "traditional" college a while back.

chumdawg · 08-10-2009, 12:35 PM

I was just wondering what your situation would be like if you seek the four-year degree. Since you said your loans were significant, I was thinking maybe you didn't go the community college route. I'm wondering how many of your classes will transfer toward a four-year degree.

Are there other educational options in your field, which would make you more hire-able, besides the bachelors route?

rabbitproof · 08-10-2009, 02:02 PM

finish school if the alternative is 11 dollars an hour.

or find a better alternative.

Justin Credible · 08-11-2009, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chumdawg

I was just wondering what your situation would be like if you seek the four-year degree. Since you said your loans were significant, I was thinking maybe you didn't go the community college route. I'm wondering how many of your classes will transfer toward a four-year degree.

Are there other educational options in your field, which would make you more hire-able, besides the bachelors route?

Well, there's definitely certifications to be had. My plan thus far (thanks to lengthy discussions with different people as well as the posts in this thread) is to return to school and continue working. With work I'll do all I can to get as many certs as I can in the next 2 years.

As far as transferring credits are concerned, not all the credits would transfer so I would essentially end up chasing the same degree all over again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabbitproof

finish school if the alternative is 11 dollars an hour.

or find a better alternative.

hahaha, touche'.

BTW, hopefully heading up to school today before work to discuss re-enrolling. I know that since I graduated with Honors there's a "scholarship" program that essentially is just 20% tuition/books/etc if I return so I'm shooting for that as it stands right now.

Smiles · 08-14-2009, 11:24 PM

"...I mean, I know that the best choice for my future would most definitely be to go back to college, but at the same time I know that's extremely detrimental to any immediate progress. It's kind of a win/win/lose/lose situation (kind of like last seasons starting lineup. ZING!)"

I kinda hate to say it, but from what you've shared, it doesn't appear that you have any options for immediate progress anyway - the employment market being "what it is". That only leaves you the option of banking on the future. IMO: You're making the best decision to get the additional education.

As for your Love. Perhaps part of the dilemma is wanting to take the next step with her? Maybe there is some pressure coming from her? If so, let her know where you want to go with her, but that you really feel you must make the decision that is wisest (for you both) in the long run - times are tough in a lot of ways right now. If she knows you're heart is there, then it's more likely she'll wait. Of course, I am purely speculating on what form of "progress" you alluded to....

Four years drug free is awesome. You clearly have what it takes to make good decisions and build a good life for yourself. Don't stop now - not at $11/hr with no health insurance. It's awesome you have a part-time job in this economy! I'm glad for you there, and admire anyone who works in whatever job they can find.

Could the docs give you steroids for the knee pain? Maybe injections given right there in the office? Sorry you have to deal with not having health insurance. That sucks for sure. Consider finding a free clinic, and when you go tell the Dr who sees you that you have to have something other than pain meds. If their pharmacy has the steroids on hand... you could walk out feeling 100% better. Ever tried a TENS unit for pain? They can really help, but cost $$. A guy in college made me a little one w/a weak charge (a single 9V battery), and it really helped. Maybe there are directions for making one online (though I'd be scared to make one myself)?

Of course, it's all easy for me to say.... There are always factors that strangers can't understand or appreciate, so ultimately you have to make the call that's best for you. All the best!

MavsWiLLHaVeRinGs · 08-14-2009, 11:39 PM

I swear I'm not trying to crack a joke or anything, but this thread reminds me of http://www.fmylife.com. You go on there and tell strangers your life story, and they either vote "I agree, your life sucks" or "you totally deserved it"

Justin Credible · 08-19-2009, 11:50 AM

Update:

Worked 45ish hours at my "part time" job last week
re-enrolled in school for BS in Information Security Services
start teaching a class on computers tomorrow

Thanks again for the advice everyone. It really is appreciated and it didn't fall on deaf ears at all. It hurts to see how much debt I'll be in by the time all is said and done (see: enough to buy a decent little house) but I really do think that with the economy being in the state that it's presently in the best thing for me to do is do all that I can to improve my resume and experience and hope for it to rebound enough for me to get a nice paying position by the time I graduate.

All I have to do now is give my work a copy of my schedule and hope that they don't get pissed (they said they would work around it, but we'll see).