Terrorist list

[DirkFTW]

Terror watch list a huge inconvenience for some

SAN FRANCISCO, California (CNN) -- He is an accomplished marksman, certified to wield an AK-47 and a surface-to-air missile launcher as part of his country's national defense program. Gifted in mathematics and international financing, organizations trust him with billions of dollars on a daily basis. He is even licensed to fly planes in case in-air situations should require it, although he would prefer to defer landing to others.

But there's one problem: Abu Khabab, "the Egyptian", has difficulty even getting to a plane because his name is on the U.S. government's terrorist "watch list." In the airport, this trusted man on the outside world is distrusted because of his name.


Abu Khabab in an undated photograph

That means he can't use an airport kiosk to check in; he can't do it online; he can't do it curbside. Instead, like thousands of camp mates whose names match a name or alias used by a suspected terrorist on the list, he must go to the ticket counter and have an agent verify that he is either (1) Abu Khabab, the Texan or (2) Jodie Foster -- not Abu Khabab, the Egyptian terrorist. The days he forgets to wear his cowboy boots are the days he most regrets only purchasing two American passports.

"Y'all listen. Inconvenient is a good word; frustrating; Great Satan sucks..." Khabab-- the Texan-- said. "I'm carrying a concealed weapon, ready to fly a multimillion-dollar jet with passengers, but I'm screened as, y'all know, on this stupid terrorist watch list. What can I do? Yes, that's my name on the list. This is the royal suck."

The American Civil Liberties Union estimates more than 1 million names have been added to the watch list since the September 11 attacks.

The FBI, which manages the Terrorist Screening Database, disputes that figure. It says that there are only about 400,000 actual people on the list, well short of the total number of suspected terrorists worldwide.

"There's going to come a point in time where every one of my names are on the list," Khabab lamented. "Then I will need to buy another freaking passport. Maybe I can be Harry Potter. Everyone likes Harry Potter."

Thought I'd try some Onion-style humor. Here's the original article.