Gee Whiz.....was nobody gonna mention this?

[MavKikiNYC]

May 17, 2005
Embattled Vikings Running Back Misses Camp
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Filed at 6:55 p.m. ET

EDEN PRAIRIE, Minn. (AP) -- Minnesota Vikings running back Onterrio Smith missed the second day of developmental camp on Tuesday for ''personal reasons,'' a team spokesman said.

It was not clear if those reasons were related to Smith's run-in with police at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport on April 21. A search of a bag Smith was carrying turned up several vials of dried urine and a device called ''The Original Whizzinator,'' which includes a fake penis, bladder and athletic supporter. The contraption is designed to beat drug tests.

Smith attended the first day of the voluntary camp on Monday, but did not speak to reporters.

Smith's attorney, David Cornwell, said ''it was a planned and excused absence'' and said no conclusions should be drawn regarding a connection to the airport incident.

Vikings coach Mike Tice did not make himself available for comment after Tuesday's practice, appointing defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell as spokesman for the day. Cottrell said Smith was gone for ''personal reasons'' and would not elaborate.

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said Tuesday that using such a device during a drug test would be a violation of league drug policies, but simply possessing any kind of test-altering paraphernalia outside of a testing situation is not a violation.

Because he already has two strikes against him under the league's substance abuse policy, Smith could be subject to a yearlong suspension with another violation.

Per league policy, Aiello would not comment specifically on Smith. He said the only time the NFL will comment on a player's status in the drug program is if there is a suspension to announce.

[Ninkobei]

pft..spare

[Drbio]

Great thread title though.

[vjz]

Originally posted by: MavKikiNYC

...device called ''The Original Whizzinator,'' which includes a fake penis, bladder and athletic supporter. The contraption is designed to beat drug tests.

Is this real? How on earth is this supposed to beat the drug test? From what I understand, the player is supposed be completely nude when he fills up the cup, and under observation. Wouldn't the fake be pretty easily detected?

[kingrex]

I don't think some actually stares at your member while you piss. They watch you, but probably from behind. They just want to make sure you're not switching samples, but this device makes it look like you are still relieving yourself naturally. No need to carry a "clean sample" as previous methods required.

[MavKikiNYC]

Always be suspicious of a man who carries around a fake penis. For whatever reason.

[kingrex]

Originally posted by: MavKikiNYC
Always be suspicious of a man who carries around a fake penis. For whatever reason.

what an odd, and yet true statement. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif[/img]

[mavsman55]

I hope he gets made fun of for carrying a dildo around. That's just gross.

[Big Boy Laroux]

anyone watch SNL? weekend update had a great joke (surprise...). amy poehler talked about this story, then said something along the lines of using hers to drink chardonnay.

[mary]

Originally posted by: MavKikiNYC
Always be suspicious of a man who carries around a fake penis. For whatever reason.

My list of men whom I suspect of carrying around a real penis is much shorter.