Ever Wonder

[jacktruth]

Man, I don't know if this is old news, but it sure made me laugh:
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EVER WONDER...

...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?


...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?


...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?


...why doctors call what they do "practice"?


...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?


...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?


...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?


...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?


...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?


...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?


...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?


...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?


...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?


...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?


...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?


AND...

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.


On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).


On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."


On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(just a suggestion)


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."


On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."


On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."


On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."


On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."


On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."



On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts "


I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's
superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."


On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

[u2sarajevo]

Originally posted by: jacktruth
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

You know, when I was a child, I used to eat the dog food out of the bag in the back yard. Me and my brother would play until our hearts content. I guess I figured instead of stopping the playtime to go get a snack, why not just eat what LoveBug (our dog) eats and grab a handfull of Puppy Chow.

Did anyone else ever do that?

Or am I the only dog food eater on the board....????....

[irontoad]

Originally posted by: u2sarajevo

You know, when I was a child, I used to eat the dog food out of the bag in the back yard. Me and my brother would play until our hearts content. I guess I figured instead of stopping the playtime to go get a snack, why not just eat what LoveBug (our dog) eats and grab a handfull of Puppy Chow.

Did anyone else ever do that?

Or am I the only dog food eater on the board....????....

Yes, you are U2. You should be ashamed of yourself. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]

Actually, I've never eaten dog food, but I have tried a dog biscuit. Not the tastiest thing in the world, I might add.

[LRB]

Originally posted by: u2sarajevo

You know, when I was a child, I used to eat the dog food out of the bag in the back yard. Me and my brother would play until our hearts content. I guess I figured instead of stopping the playtime to go get a snack, why not just eat what LoveBug (our dog) eats and grab a handfull of Puppy Chow.

Did anyone else ever do that?

Or am I the only dog food eater on the board....????....

Guilty. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif[/img] It was only for a short time when was around 2. Strange how that's only one of just a handful of memories that I have at that age. The other was scary our maid/baby sitter by bringing in a dead snake my dog had killed. Never say a woman jump so high in my life or scream so loud. Of course my punishment was an extra bath that day to wash the snake cooties off. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]