Things I've Learned From My Children

[Caliente]

Things I've Learned From My Children

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they ignite.

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Playdoh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably don't want to know what that smell is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin,TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

[Drbio]

20. The fire department in Austin,TX has a 5-minute response time.

Is southern_sweets paying attention?

[Psychedelic Fuzz]

25. the only two things children share willingly: communicable diseases and their mother's age.

[kingrex]

Electricity is not your friend

[Novice#41]

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

someone should bring their kids to the next mavs home game... forget the restaurant [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]...