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Old 01-15-2004, 12:43 AM   #1
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Default Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
1. Make sure that you pass the ball at least three times on all offensive possessions.
2. Install the picket-fense into the offense.
3. Don't get caught watching the paint dry.
4. Hire a drunk as an assistant coach.
5. Ask an official to throw you out of a game.
6. Play defense so tightly that you know what kind of gum your opponents are chewing.
7. Try and have the head coach fired.
8. Make sure the head coach punches out one of his own players.
9. Have your drunk assistant stumble onto the court and proclaim that it was an offensive foul on the other team.
10. Practice without a basketball.


Do all of this and the Mavs will be set.
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Old 01-15-2004, 12:45 AM   #2
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Also, make sure Stefansson comes off the IL and checks into the big game so he can make a huge freethrow by shooting grannie-style.
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Old 01-15-2004, 12:47 AM   #3
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Quote:

4. Hire a drunk as an assistant coach.
9. Have your drunk assistant stumble onto the court and proclaim that it was an offensive foul on the other team.
You need another drunk in the coaching staff??
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Old 01-15-2004, 12:48 AM   #4
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Default RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Mff, yes. A drunk assistant is a must.
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Old 01-15-2004, 12:56 AM   #5
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Default RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
11. Hire Gene Hackman as head coach
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Old 01-15-2004, 12:57 AM   #6
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Lemme guess -- then move your NBA franchise to a small Indiana high school town back in the 50's? [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
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Old 01-15-2004, 12:58 AM   #7
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Default RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Hire Gene Hackman as the head coach? That's a bit of a stretch, isn't it?
And as for moving the Mavs to Indiana, I don't really think that'd make the fans around Dallas too happy.
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Old 01-15-2004, 12:58 AM   #8
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Default RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
12.- Throw a rat on the court.

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Old 01-15-2004, 01:21 AM   #9
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Murph you forgot the most important part. Bring back the sharpshooting mute.
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Old 01-15-2004, 01:28 AM   #10
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
I can't believe you all almost forgot about me. Don't forget about ol' Jimmy.
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Old 01-15-2004, 01:30 AM   #11
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Default RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
13. sign that dog from the movie "air bud" to a 10 day.
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Old 01-15-2004, 01:31 AM   #12
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Quote:
Originally posted by: jimmychipwood
I can't believe you all almost forgot about me. Don't forget about ol' Jimmy.
The Mavs already have some long range sharp shooters. There's no reason to add you. You're already on the team. Now if you could just get out of your funk that you've been in all year.
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Old 01-15-2004, 01:32 AM   #13
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Default RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
It's hard to find good sober help these days, Murph may be onto something.
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Old 01-15-2004, 01:33 AM   #14
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Jimmy needs to concentrate on school so he can go to college and get out of this town.
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Old 01-15-2004, 05:36 AM   #15
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
This is the speech Nellie should give before each game.

"Forget about the other teams fancy uniforms and the celebrities in the front row -- and remember what got you here. Focus on the fundamentals, that we have gone over time and time again. And most importantly, don't get hung up in winning or losing this game. If we put our effort into being the best that we can be, at the end of the game, I don't care what the scoreboard says, in my book we are going to be winners.

Okay?"


*Clapping*

"Okay"

*Clapping*

"Let me hear it."

"Let's Go! "
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Old 01-15-2004, 09:23 AM   #16
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Someone needs to measure the height of the rim and the length of the free throw line when on the road. That should solve the road woes
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Old 01-15-2004, 09:27 AM   #17
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Quote:
Originally posted by: grbh
Someone needs to measure the height of the rim and the length of the free throw line when on the road. That should solve the road woes
You've hit the nail on the head.
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Old 01-15-2004, 10:13 AM   #18
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Jimmy contributes to bad team defense, because he never talks. "I'll make it" is not considered good communication.
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Old 01-15-2004, 10:16 AM   #19
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Jimmy just gets frozen out of the offense anyways. Even when he says "I'll make it.", the player that takes the inboud pass jacks up a three from 28 feet.
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Old 01-15-2004, 11:15 AM   #20
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
How would Coach Norman Dale react if one of his players did the wiggle?
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Old 01-15-2004, 11:23 AM   #21
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Quote:
Originally posted by: jimmychipwood
I can't believe you all almost forgot about me. Don't forget about ol' Jimmy.

ah, we'll forget about you. but we won't forget about jimmy chiTwood

[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
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Old 01-15-2004, 11:27 AM   #22
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
BBL, I never had the heart to tell him. He was so close at picking a great name but he fell short just by one letter.
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Old 01-15-2004, 11:29 AM   #23
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Default RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
i could understand if the p and t were close on the keyboard... but they're pretty far away from each other...

i could have accepted a typo over blatant disregard for the correct spelling. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
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Old 01-15-2004, 11:44 AM   #24
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Default RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
17. Never, and I mean never, let Walker shoot another three or free throw.....and slap Nellie 100 times before every game while saying, "you are not a genius..you have better talent that the other guys....dont try to be smart....just play Bradley....."
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Old 01-15-2004, 11:54 AM   #25
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
"CLAP"

"CLAP"

"CLAP"

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At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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Old 01-15-2004, 11:58 AM   #26
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Default RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
and here I thought they had the clap pretty well under control these days....
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Old 01-16-2004, 10:04 AM   #27
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
That's an ender.
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At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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Old 01-16-2004, 01:42 PM   #28
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Classic thread.
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Old 01-16-2004, 03:25 PM   #29
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Quote:
Originally posted by: Fidel
Classic thread.
you're telling me, and here i was, ignoring it because I thought it was just going to be another one of Murphs boring rant threads [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img] [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img] [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]


[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

(i'm joking murph [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif[/img])

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Old 01-16-2004, 03:46 PM   #30
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
If you didn't have your mod skirt on....
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Old 01-16-2004, 03:48 PM   #31
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
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Originally posted by: Murphy3
If you didn't have your mod skirt on....
OMG, I can't believe yooouu! [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img]

I ignored it until today. Can't believe what I almost missed! [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
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Old 01-16-2004, 11:37 PM   #32
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
you know I actually prefer the skirt over pants combo [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
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Old 01-16-2004, 11:47 PM   #33
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
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Originally posted by: veruca salt
you know I actually prefer the skirt over pants combo [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]

You sound like Kobe.
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Old 01-16-2004, 11:56 PM   #34
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Kobe has better legs than me, he doesn't need the pants underneath the skirt.
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Old 04-02-2004, 02:31 AM   #35
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Time to revisit...
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Old 06-29-2004, 07:01 PM   #36
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Saw it on ESPN Classic a couple nights ago, with a bunch of commentary and stuff. Great effing movie. Funny thread. I heard that one of the actors in the movie committed suicide. Terrible shame.
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Old 06-29-2004, 11:52 PM   #37
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Default RE: Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Yeah it was Merle Webb (real life name is Kent Poole) who killed himself, the guy who hit the winning shot coming around the picket fence called by Shooter Flatch.

Oh and Murph, it was 4 passes [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]

18. call the opposing team's players a bunch of gorillas.

Here's a little piece of movie info for all you Hoosiers fans: At the end of the film, when the team is getting ready to go out to play in the state championship game, coach Dale points at a chalkboard with some of the opposing players names and numbers on it. The names on the board are the Hickory players real life names. The leading scorer, Boyle, is the real life name of Whit Butcher the guy who said the classic line "I ain't no gizzard".
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Old 06-30-2004, 06:42 AM   #38
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Rod, we had to reduce the number a bit to be more realistic. Can you expect the Mavs to pass 4 times every possession? Three's all that we could hope for.
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Old 07-02-2004, 08:11 PM   #39
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Default RE:Murph's 10 steps to turning this thing around.
Quote:
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Mff, yes. A drunk assistant is a must.
The first time I read this post I laughed so hard and almost spit a beer onto my computer.
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