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10-05-2004, 11:02 PM
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#1 |
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Platinum Member
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 2,011
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Explosive Issue
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---------------------------------------------- MSNBC.com Explosive Issue Kerry says Bush ‘in denial’ about volcano WEB EXCLUSIVE By Andy Borowitz Newsweek Updated: 3:15 p.m. ET Oct. 5, 2004 Oct. 5 - Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry kept George W. Bush on the defensive today, telling a Pittsburgh audience that the president had allowed the long-dormant Mount St. Helens to erupt on his watch and promising to "fix the volcano once and for all" if elected in November. "When George Bush was elected president, Mount St. Helens was nothing but a trivia question," Kerry told the audience. "Well, guess what, folks? It's spewing volcanic gases right now and it's only a matter of time before she blows." Kerry said that Bush had refused to keep an eye on the troubling increase in volcanic activity at Mount St. Helens because he was "totally obsessed with Iraq." "I've got news for George Bush, " Kerry said. "Saddam Hussein isn't erupting. Mount St. Helens is erupting." After accusing Bush of being "in denial" about "the molten magama stewing inside that sucker," Bush fired back, saying that it would be "sending the wrong message" to say that Mr. St. Helens was erupting. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia rose to the president's defense, saying that he believed it would be "awesome" to have group sex inside the volcano's crater. "Throw in a few barnyard animals and that's what I call a party," Justice Scalia said. In other campaign news, Bush ridiculed Kerry's statement that the U.S. must pass "a global test" before using military force, adding, "I have never passed a test in my life and I'm not going to start now." Andy Borowitz is the author of The Borowitz Report, and the winner of the National Press Club's humor award. For more, go to www.borowitzreport.com. |
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10-05-2004, 11:08 PM
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#2 |
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,014
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RE: Explosive Issue
very funny. except for the Scalia remark...
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10-05-2004, 11:09 PM
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#3 |
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Golden Member
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 1,811
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RE:Explosive Issue
talk about a waste of space...
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Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well- warmed, and well-fed." |
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10-06-2004, 12:14 AM
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#4 | |
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 40,924
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RE:Explosive Issue
Quote:
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